Seeking Advice - Dear John Letter to Addict X-BF

[Pollyana]

Hey there. I'm new to this forum and am looking for your help.

X-BF has a cocaine problem. I won't go into too much history because I'm really trying to not engage in any co-dependent behavior/make excuses/adopt his problems as my own etc. etc.

He lives in LA, which I recently left. Just before I left it became clear to me that he was using again after having left the drug behind for almost a year. We were breaking up anyway because of my move...but about a week after I found out he was using I said a final goodbye.

However, I didn't make it clear that his using was the reason and now I'm feeling the need to write a letter. Mostly it's for me to have a sense of closure, but I also want to give him a phone number he could call for help.

Any advice from those of you that have struggled with these types of problems?

- Pollyana

ps. By a 'phone number he could call for help' I do not mean mine. I mean an agency or NA group. Now that I know he's using, I can't give him my new contact info. Thanks for your help.

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by Pollyana

Hey there. I'm new to this forum and am looking for your help.

X-BF has a cocaine problem. I won't go into too much history because I'm really trying to not engage in any co-dependent behavior/make excuses/adopt his problems as my own etc. etc.

here's the paradox.. you are engaging in codie behaviour . just by coming here.

Originally Posted by Pollyana

He lives in LA, which I recently left. Just before I left it became clear to me that he was using again after having left the drug behind for almost a year. We were breaking up anyway because of my move...but about a week after I found out he was using I said a final goodbye.

your breaking up and you said a final goodby

Originally Posted by Pollyana

However, I didn't make it clear that his using was the reason and now I'm feeling the need to write a letter. Mostly it's for me to have a sense of closure, but I also want to give him a phone number he could call for help.

doesn't sound like much of a final good by now then does it?

Originally Posted by Pollyana

Any advice from those of you that have struggled with these types of problems?

Your x bf is a big boy and I'll bet he can find an NA meeting if he wants to.

Check out the naranon forum. Maybe you can find the closure your looking for there.