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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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11-20-2004, 05:03 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| To Life!  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again
Posts: 8,071
| Need hope; Need answers; Need your experience...
Hi everyone; I am coming here for the reasons stated in the title. I hate to say it, but, my 24 y/o son relapsed a few weeks ago. His doc is heroin. He has been an addict for 10 years; was clean for a bit over 6 months. I wanted to come over here and ask you folks some questions when he first relapsed. But, I was afraid to ask; afraid to loose hope. I figured it was better not to know than to loose that thread of hope I still cling to for my son and his life. However, some great people over at naranon shared some stories of their own. Because of that, I have the strength to come here and ask. Could you please share your stories of success with me? I need to know that it is possible for him...IF he wants it...to really become a successfully recovering, functional adult citizen. Will this nightmare EVER go away? Does the age of drug abuse origen matter? He was 14. Drug counselors and my own counselor have told me that he is still functioning at an adolescent mentality. Since I teach those kids all day long, I can attest to the instability of the age group. And AT that age, it is a normal part of development. The ups and downs; the emotionality; the confusion about one's place in the world and one's future. Does this mental "retardation," (no, he is not retarded; his development is according to the counselors), impede his chances of success at recovery? Before I knew he had relapsed, I fell for his BS a few times. He scamed me out of a few hundred dollars. I caught on quick this time! LOL! Not a big deal money wise, but, I need to know something. Will it ever be possible for me to help my son? I ask this because, my parents helped me on occassions. When I bought the house from my ex, for example. They trusted me. I repayed them. My sister helped me last summer too. Again, repayed. I had relapsed on MY codependency recovery last winter...and paid a big price for it. That is why I was able to catch MY slip so quickly this time; I have been working my own program. I have learned to detach with love. So, I need to understand, if you have any stories, about when and if I will ever really know if he is just going through a tough time, (as I have had in my life), or he is scamming me again. I just read a lot of NOD's thread, about his slip. My son is calling his relapse a "slip." I THINK he went to detox yesterday. That was the plan. (I called his g/f but got no answer.) And he is supposed to go to a rehab following the detox. HE made all the calls and set up this plan. I stepped back when I realized he relapsed. He insists it was a slip, not a relapse. It has been a few weeks that I am aware of. I know it could have been longer; I am not trying to find out. I don't care, really, how long it has been. But, what IS the difference between a relapse and a slip? Does it really matter? Obviously, I am worried. And not just about his relapse/slip. He really pulled a boner this time. He got married! Not to his g/f whom he still has and still lives with. He married a foreigner from the middle east so she could get into the country. She paid him to do so. His father encouraged it; so did his g/f! (He's a gambler; she's an idiot! When I asked her what the h*ll she was thinking, going along with this, her answer was, "I guess money talks!" I haven't had the strength to speak to the ex. I am afraid I will KILL him! They are both full of GR$$D, and put my son last; thinking only of what THEY could get out of it. Ex was borrowing money from son, for crying out loud. :yelling ) Anyway, I am fearful that this legal mess will impede his recovery too. He may end up in federal prison because of it. From what I have been told, he has to remain married for two years; and when SHE applys for citizenship, that is when the INS will come investigating. That is when they get caught. Well, two years for son is futurizing. LOL! He can't see tommorow for crying out loud! Do legal issues impede recovery too? He already has had plenty of them, but, was dealing with them. Now, he pulls this! I haven't heard anything like this before. Anyone here deal with any legal issues like this before? I know enough to know I can't control him; I'm not trying to. It is in HIS hands. I saw this on NOD's thread, and it is true for my own recovery too: "gettin in recovery is like being in the Mob. Once your in you can never really leave .. ya know too much." (gootch) Now, I'm asking if you can do this for me..."A student asked Soen Nakagawa: "Master, I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Soen replied: "Encourage others" (mackat) (and thanks NOD for posting about your slip. You never know who you're gonna help when you post, huh?  )I'm sorry this is so long. It has been a long time thinking about these things, but, being afraid that I would loose all hope if I got the answers. I am not afraid anymore. I will deal with what is. If anyone can share their experience with these issues, I would appreciate it. Thanks to all for sharing your ESH! Shalom!
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11-20-2004, 06:30 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Climbing walls while sitting in a chair
Posts: 217
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Hey Teach, My prayers and thoughts are with you and your son. That you found something worthwhile and helpful in my thread makes sharing my ESH a blessing for both of us. I can only hope that by the berevity of his relapse and thr fact that he has all his cards in place for detox and rehab are a sign that hr knows he made a mistake and wants to get back into recovery. At age 24 and with 6 months clean time he knows what he wants. It's up to him to make thr final choice. Heroin gets its grip on us and doesn't want to let go. Even though it's been over 2 years since I used (my "slip" as you referred to it did not involve heroin, but a drug is a drug) I know how quickly and easily it can be to go back. My mentor has relapsed and is still out there. I can only pray that he will find the strength to come back to recovery. HT, you have to concentrate on your well being right now. Don't get down on yourself because you think you should have caught on to this sooner. He will make his choices and you will have to accept them. You can do the most important thing by being there for him in his time of need, praying for him to make thr right choices, and encouraging him throughout his recovery. The longer we stay clean the more we need to hear that the choice we made is the right one. We tend to forget easily how bad it was when we were using. Of course the recent choices he made may come back to haunt him, but that is for another time. Right now his concentration should be on his recovery. Your ex sounds like an enabler that he would be better off distancing himself from but I know that isn't always possible. In a perfect world we would all move away from the people places and things that were part of our destructive ways and start over new. That's not likely to happen. Prayers for you and yours, Jerry
__________________ You may see me tonight with an illegal smile. John Prine |
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11-20-2004, 07:08 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Vision of Hope  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Living on This side of the green!!
Posts: 1,062
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What is our message? Our message is that an addict, any addict can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live. Our message is hope and promise of freedom. When all is said and done, we can only carry the message to the addict who still suffers, because that is all we have to give. I truely hope your son finds his way to recovery. I got clean when I turned 17 and again at 18 and again at 24 and again at 34, in those time I had years clean and desided to test the waters again, I also found out that I needed to find a new way to live because my best thinking got me here and I needed to look to others for suggestions on how to live. I hope your son finds his way to a new way of life!!! I have found this way and I truely believe it works and it available to anyone who wants it. Goode luck!! I hope you keep us posted.
__________________ We get relief through the Twelve Steps which are essential to the recovery process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to participate in our own recovery. We Do Recover Todd J. |
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11-20-2004, 07:21 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: out there...
Posts: 2,668
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(((((((((Teach)))))))))) When/if your son can choose the one over the other, his recovery will be possible. There has to be hope..... We just can't wrap our conditions around it or it will vanish. All that I pray for is that the loving, forgiving creator that appears to bless my life has a better plan in store than anything I can dream up. Simply pray for His will and the serenity to accept and recognize it as such.... for myself and others... I had hoped to get clean the fist time I tried to put it down .. only I tried to control my intake, and choose my substances. It took me another 4 years to hear that "Control for us is impossible the moment it is suggested" and another 3 years to prove it to myself. I was 15 when I started using and 33 when I finally chose to establish the patterns that would help me choose daily not to pick up the first one ( the only control I have is in the ability to make the choice not to grab the first). Yes I acted like an adolescant when I first got clean.. not counting the 2 years I played wit the program, it's 13 years later and I can still revert to the mindset of a teenager. Most of the time I am aware enough that I choose not to act like one. Am I successful? I am by my revamped standards as if I used societies yardstick, I would continue to come up short. My standards are based more in attitudes and behaviours than 401 k's and tallysheets. I haven't used today or the previous 365 x 13.78 days ( it's early though and I have to remember that it's as easy for me to make that choice to get high as anyone). In those terms, I consider I have a measure of sucess. I have a measure of success acumulating some of the material things that I alwasy thought would bring me happiness. They don't and I know this but continue to look at the new toys in all the wish books. I have a degree in electronics that I pursued upon my decision to finally do whatever it took to get an stay clean. I'm doing construction work. lol I am in a relationship with a nice lady, and I'm struggling every day to accept myself as I am and her as she is and not imagine that I know whats best for both of us or try and control the outcome of every situation that occurs when 2 share so much. Every day is filled with little victories. little instances of joy amidst the drudgeries of reexamining everything I think i know about myself. Whenever I go to meetings I am reminded of why I am there. I have 2 things in common with everone else there. Addiction and recovery. If I don't focus on and maintain the 2nd then all I have is the first. We will always be addicts. The hope is that we don't have to act like it. Every time we close a meeting a circle forms and your son is included in the prayers for the still suffering addict. And we frequently include ourselves. I like to include the family members who suffer as well. I wish you could meet some of the addicts that have stood in that circle with me. They have made a believer out of me. I pray that your son find his way and time at the calling of his Creator. |
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11-20-2004, 07:39 AM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: May 2004 Location: In the mountain air
Posts: 1,349
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Thank you so much for that post. My A is in recovery, same doc as HistoryTeach's son, and even though he is in recovery, and that I am able to attend meetings with him, every single bit of reinforcement that this program truly works is another burst of hope and faith for me. There are days when I have absolute faith and trust in Mike's recovery, and there are moments when a simple change to the timber of his voice or an unusually upbeat mood makes me wonder for that split second "did he do something." Then I read a post like yours, and I remember. I remember that he has done so much, changed so many things, and is living such a totally different way compared to 1 year ago today (literally, today) - and all that faith comes rushing back, the trust speaks to me on his behalf, and I know, deep in my heart, that he will make it - he may struggle, he may fall down on occasion, and he may not tell me every little detail about what he's going through, but he wants this. He wants it for him. He wants it because of all the things in life he can do and have simply by living a clean, sober life. He wants it because he knows what is on the other side and this side is where he wants to be. Thank you for the gentle reminder that it can be done, because even being here to see him work his recovery, hearing another recovering addict give it verbalization brings it home. Love & Hugs, Trisha
__________________ Faith... When you come to the end of all the light you know and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly. | |
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11-20-2004, 07:53 AM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Sharing Our Light  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 15,155
| Quote:
Grateful Hugs Ann
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~  | |
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11-20-2004, 08:09 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| an addict named Mike Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 188
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Hi Historyteach, I'm an addict named Mike. When I read your story above I couldn't help but relate to alot of what you said about your son. I started using when I was 14 and got clean when I was 24. I was using alot of opiates and pretty much every drug in the book (really doesn't matter). I have been clean 27 months now by the grace of god and the program. I have a great, well paying job which I love (and only a GED for education), two beautiful kids to whom I am an excellent father to, great relationships with my family and friends. I just put a binder down on a nice new house for myself last week (recently divorced) and am going back to college in January. I used multiple drugs every single day for the last 8 years I used, so if I can do it, pretty much anyone can. A relapse and a slip are the same thing in my opinion. I do still struggle with that adolescent mentality, sometimes I'm more of a companion to my kids than their father. That is very true about how we stop maturing emotionally when we start using, but when we stop using and get into recovery, it does gradually get better. I have been able to accept support and be trusted by my family again. I used to steal from them as well. Because of my divorce, I have more cash in my account right now than most people see at once their whole lives. I'm not saying this to brag or boast, I'm give all credit for the success I've had in recovery to god (maybe I'll take a little of it..lol), but today I can trust myself. Today I have keys to my office, my parents house, my x-inlaws house, our safe at the office, and have EARNED trust with others. I have true friends who I have unbelievable relationships with, several I talk with on a daily basis. I have the respect of my friends and family but most importantly I have some self respect for the first time in my life. Just keep the faith in him, keep praying, and know that we DO recover and there is hope for him. I do only have a daily reprieve from active addiction, and every day I ask gods help staying clean in the morning. Your son is very lucky he still has family who loves him and is their to support him (without inabling him). Gotta run now, Love & Respect, Mike
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11-20-2004, 10:05 AM
| #8 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Starting over  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Skin city
Posts: 2,138
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Hi teach :-) I'm sorry to hear you are going thru such a dark place. Know that you and your son are in my prayers. Quote:
I have 24 years last february. I arrived to the program living in a dumpster. I was 3 years and saved enough money to live in a car. I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and told I would die in weeks (they were wrong). I married a wonderful lady and became a stepfather. My father-in-law told me a few days before he passed that he had found peace with his Maker when he knew I would look after his disabled daughter in his absence. My step-daughter told me she wanted a husband who would treat her the way I treated her Mom, and then went and married a guy that is so much like me we could be brothers. My grandkids love me and I love them back. I have reached out and shared my Experience, Strength and Hope on a one to one basis with more alkies, junkies, dopers, incest / abuse survivors than I could ever hope to count. I have friends who love me and are there for me and I am there for them. I have started a few companies and went broke. Started others and done well. I've had great, hi-paying jobs and I've had none. I've had more money than I knew what to do with and I have had to dig in dumpsters for food. I have made a living scrubbing toilets, making movies for George Lucas and everywhere in between. I've had a life filled with wonder, beauty and happiness that is far beyond anything I could have imagined. Have I been succesful in life? No. The program has been succesful in giving me the opportunity to lead this life. It is only because I have been willing to go to any lengths in the pursuit of sobriety that I have been able to be a good husband, a good son, a good father, a good employee and a good man. My life is nothing more than my HP using me as an example to others of His love, His will and His way of life. There are hundreds of thousands of people just like me, in meetings every night around the world, with lives and challenges immesurabley more difficult than mine. They are all clean and sober today, working their program to the best of their abilities. Your son can have it too. He's already had 6 months, he knows he can do it one day at a time, just like all the rest of us do. Quote:
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Mike :-) | ||||||||
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11-20-2004, 11:12 AM
| #9 (permalink) | |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,596
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As an addict, I am sometimes frustrated by other's view of my recovery. Once an addict, always an addict? True in the literal sense, but not necessarliy in the relationship sense. When in active addiction I am all of those things, a liar, not to be trusted, selfish, and so on. But when I am in active recovery (not just not useing, but working a program of recovery), I am honest, loving, giving, willing, and more. I am still not perfect, but no one is, eh? I imagine that the hardest thing for loved ones is that no one can know when the addict will finally get recovery... or if they will. There are too many of us who don't make it. It's hard to watch an addict struggle with relapses. I personally relapsed too many times before I realized that I cannot do this alone. But, by the grace of god, I got it. I am now going to meetings, I have a sponsor and I am working the steps. Your son has a disease. He is sick. I pray for him and you that he gets well. The only one that can guide this process is god. That's my opinion. It's also my opinion that he can recover absolutely, 24 hours at a time. Of course he can, millions are doing it every day. I pray that he is one of the lucky ones. I echo that the best thing you can do for yourself and for him is to work your own program of recovery, which you are doing. You are not doing this, HT, but just a general comment from one on the other side: Addict-bashing is part of the PROBLEM, not part of the SOLUTION. I pray for us all, the ones still suffering on the side of addiction and co-dependency, may we find the solution now. hugs, jojo | |
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11-20-2004, 11:36 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again
Posts: 8,071
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Thanks to all the good people who share their ESH. I appreciate hearing it more than you can imagine. My son did indeed go into the detox place. I just heard. And I do know it is up to him. Thank G*D! Mike aka servicejunkie; Thanks for sharing your story. It is really important for us to hear success stories too, I think. Or, at least it is for me. Good luck on your new house and college. If I can help anyway there, let me know. I'm pretty good at editing papers!  And you do deserve all the good life has to offer you. Seems to me that you have emotionally "graduated" just fine! (I do hope that is not condescending. It is NOT meant to be.) And that too gives me much hope. Gooch; The Serenity Prayer is a part of my daily life. The full comprehension of it took time. There may even be more in store for me. Only the future knows that. I live in the present, and am grateful for all of my blessings. That gratitude has helped me through this experience. Helped me keep my focus. Yes, Gooch, you are successful. I don't hold much stock in societies yardstick of success either. I understand your meaning here. And agree! (WOW! Imagine that! LOL!) Thanks. Todd; Thanks for your hope and your message. It helps more than you know. Mike aka Desert Eyes; I am not in a dark place - honestly. It has been much different for me this time. Disapointed? Yea. Not paniced; not depressed; not desperate. I pray daily, as I have for many years. I have learned many tools to keep the focus on MY recovery. Your stories do add to my peace of mind, however. I would be lying if I didn't agree to that much. And I am so very happy to hear of them, including, of course, your own. And I appreciate your sharing about the legal troubles. I fully understand that they belong to him. I'm holding on to the codependent's addage, "Hands off the addict!" LOL! And I'm honestly trying not to think about it. But, I would be lying again if I didn't say that I am truely heart broken about this "marriage." But, I can't change it. That much I do know. NOD; "The longer we stay clean the more we need to hear that the choice we made is the right one. We tend to forget easily how bad it was when we were using." That is an eye opener for me. I have tried to remind him often how proud I am of him, during his clean time. However, I honestly didn't know it was so important! Thanks for sharing! AB; Please send your A my love and prayers along with my sincere congratulations on his recovery "birthday!" HURRAY!!! That is truely wonderful! When we share, we open your heart and soul. We bare ourselves, and leave ourselves open for attack. It is scarey. But, it is what helps us find hope too. Thank you all for strengthening my hope. I honestly appreciate it. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep my son in yours too. Shalom to you all.
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11-20-2004, 11:45 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again
Posts: 8,071
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Jojo; We must have posted at the same time. I too am VERY grateful at the outpouring of love and support I have received here on the NA forum. And the information too. You said this; "But when I am in active recovery (not just not useing, but working a program of recovery), I am honest, loving, giving, willing, and more. I am still not perfect, but no one is, eh? " One thing I am absolutely grateful for is the time I was able to spend with my son while he was clean. He is an awesome young man, just as you say. I know what you mean and understand you perfectly. And I agree that bashing an addict is worthless and contributes to the problem. I now "get it" that the addict is in much pain. That includes the pain for the addictive behaviors manifest while active. Good point, well taken. Thank you too for your story and your prayers. If others would care to share their story, I would gratefully read them. (and I won't edit yours, LOL!) I think, right now, it is good for me to hear about your successes. I have learned the "facts." I have learned the tools for my recovery. Right now, I honestly want to focus on HOPE!  And I hope that makes sense...  Shalom!
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11-20-2004, 12:28 PM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Truth is the only lasting joy  Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Trenton, NJ
Posts: 241
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Peace Teach, Hope; a feeling that what one desires will happen. Many of our members have substantial clean time after coming from the same place as your son. Heroin was my master for more years then I can remember. Today it is not. I have managed to put some years together because of the hope that others have shared with me. My mother put me out of her house at 17. I thought she hated me. I didn't know that it was the hardest thing that she had to do. She had to make a choice between me and the rest of the family, but she kept hoping for the best...Today, I understand that she did what she felt she had to do. I ain't mad at her. "In our addiction, denial protected us from seeing the reality of what our lives had become." Not only must the addict come out of denial, but those close to us must also. I know it's hard, but do not get caught up in his insanity. Work the progam that you have come to know. Go to meetings, call your sponsor, pray, share with others. And keep hope alive... Your son, like the rest of us, must do this for himself. Many of us have gone through an "extraordinary transformation," and our lives (and the lives of those around us), have changed dramaticly. "We start to develop faith through the process of coming to believe. It starts with hope." Hold on to your hope. It will keep you afloat. Prayers to you and your family, your friend Shakur... 
__________________ Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, And dance like no one's watching  |
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11-20-2004, 12:54 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again
Posts: 8,071
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(((Shakur))) I do. (share with others) I am. (working my recovery; may I NEVER stop!) I will. (hold on to my hope; sometimes by a thread!) Thank you, friend!  Shakur, I once sent my son from my home. It was long ago. It killed me. I know what your mom felt. Yet, maybe not...See, his dad was enabling him big time. I could be strong as long as dad was picking up the pieces. When dad finally got wise is when I fell down. I took him back in last winter. I really thought he was straight at the beginning. Then, I "couldn't" set him out again in the middle of winter. It scared ME too much! And, unfortunately, it was only me that was harmed. Yea, I became a willing victim against all my "learning." Against my knowledge. Against the reality of his addiction and the chaos that it presents. I wasn't in denial. I saw it. I just "couldn't" set him out. The winter was brutal! I couldn't do it to a dog, let alone a human being...and especially my only child... I guess the reality is that I can't let him back in. Please let that be only my house...not my heart! (man, that flash just came to me. I do NOT want that EVER to happen!) Shalom!
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11-20-2004, 01:14 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,596
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HT and to all who are sharing here-- This is such an amazing and hopeful thread. I am so grateful for the experience, strength and hope found here. It is one of the many miracles of recovery and, personally, I think it deserves to be in the best of SR. Thanks for starting this exchange between addicts and loved ones, HT. I think it is so helpful. A friend in recovery has encouraged me to attend Al Anon meetings, not that I have an A in my life... well, I guess I do, huh, ME! lol But the point is for me to see the tornado I caused in the lives of my ex and my family and friends. I am dealing with a huge amount of shame and guilt for this (I'm a person that believes it is ALL my fault). But part of walking through all that emotional wreckage is to get perspective. My life as an addict is filled with overwhelming pain. The lives of an addict's loved ones are filled with a huge amount of pain. Maybe if we, collectively, focus on the similarities rather than the differences, more spiritual progress can be made. There is a solution. There is hope. May we find it now. hugs, jojo |
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11-20-2004, 03:23 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: chicago,illinois
Posts: 45
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:hello2 Hi Teach! , I was told that a slip is when you fall , and ( can ) get-up , and that a relapse is when you fall , and is in "desperate" need of help. the obession , and compulsion began to dictate your actions, and behavior. And you once again is in the vicious cycle of using to live , and living to use. right back in active addiction in full bloom. But I'm a foam believer that prayer does change things . Even if not right away for your son, IT will began to bring comfort , and ease to you in knowing that He is at the throne of GRACE. He has to be broken , and delivered from a hopeless , and helpless state of mind, body , and spirit. your son must now go through his growing pains. In order for your son to get thru something , he (must) go thru something. Only he can determine when enough, is enough. Only until he is beaten will he become willing to whole-heartly surrender. Some recover quicker then others, as well as the level of sickness varies. Right now he seems to have selective thinking, which makes it much easier to rationalize , and justify out-rageous nonsense . But never the less his process is he's along, in order for your son to be rebuild he must be torn down , brought to his knees , spiritually. For him to seek help from the God of his understanding. accept the fact that he no longer can use drugs , because in the end drugs always use him and leave him mis-used , and abused . When evidance shows him that the pain has totally began to out-weigh the pleasure , only then would he find the desire to submit himself to learning to live a new way of life thru abstinence and willingness to change. Any means necessary the wonderful thing is that he will always have a place to go , the door is always open . And the arms of another recoving addict will always be extended to him at his arrival. And that's why we say KEEP COMIN BACK! ( Bloved )
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11-20-2004, 07:41 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| LOST!  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 36
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I must say there are some great threads here. My son is an addict and so am I. I have been clean and sober since February 2004. Now my son is being evicted once again. He wants me to take him back in but I am afraid for my life and my sobriety. I don't want him to be in the streets and don't know what to do. He has threatened my life many times and I am terrified to let him back in. He is 34 and should be a man now but he also started when he was 16 and is that in maturity. Please let me know that it will be okay and the best thing for him if I don't let him move back in. I feel so guilty. As a mother this is the hardest thing for me. He is in an outpatient program where they allow him to take prescription medication for anxiety and pain. I never heard of such a thing in my life. I would appreciate all replies. I don't feel so alone now that I found this forum. Thanks to all! Carole |
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11-20-2004, 08:49 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Hug giver-outer!  Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 474
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This is not the first time that I have been to the NA forum, nor the first time that I have been helped by the wonderful advice and from the stories of experience and mostly, hope that I have heard here. My 23 yr old daughter is the addict in my life and HistoryTeach said that she had gotten some wonderful advice from visiting here. So, I wanted to read and hopefully take some of it away as well. Unfortunately, my AD, who has been using since 15 but we just found out Mar. 2003 that she was an addict and was using cocaine. She has since moved to another state with her30 yr old ex-convict addict and we only talk on the phone once in awhile when she can act civil and not scream and blame. She is in total denial and I pray for the day when she can recognize her problem and want to seek help for it. I am so glad that I came on here to hear what you all have to offer. From our side of things, it makes me feel so much more "hopeful" when I hear from an addict who has gotten clean and can live a normal life. For the moment, I cannot think that my AD will ever be able to do that. However, I feel so hopeful when I read your posts. Thank you so much for frankly sharing your stories. It means so much to mothers like me and HistoryTeach. We love our children so much yet we know that we are unable to help them. We are learning OUR recovery and we tend to "relapse" once in awhile too! The v |
