Just a quick pop-in

[Brenshay]

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to share my happiness of being 5 days clean. NA has been such a big help to me, as has this forum. I have had my up times and down times, but the depression is a little bit better than before. I find that when I'm distracted it helps a lot to keep out the negative thoughts, so I've been trying to stay busy.

I think I finally know who I want for my sponsor, but I feel so shy to ask her. I think I am going to try to call her today, but I really don't know how to bring it up. I really want to start working the steps. Any suggestions?

[want2bfree]

CONGRATULATIONS ON DAY 5!!!!!!! Woooo hoooo!!! Don't know if you read my other post yet or not...but definatly stay busy!! I painted this weekend. Changing my environment makes me feel like I am in a new place. It's not the same hole I was living in when I was "warm-fuzzy" all the time. I don't think about it as much!! Try redecorating or just rearranging some things to make it seem new and different. It makes a difference. Keep on staying strong....i'm here for you if you need to talk or any ideas!! Take Care and we can do it....together!!!!!! -want2bfree

[Brenshay]

want2befree--I did get your other message and wrote you back. I think that is a GREAT idea about doing something to change your surroundings. Even just rearranging my office would be a plus. I have tried to stay busy, because I notice that when I slow down I start to feel anxious and depressed. I doubt that we could embark on a major household project because we are struggling for Christmas this year (thanks, in part, to my depleting the checking account for Vicodin--nice, huh). But I can see changing around the kids rooms or something similar. I think that would be a very positive thing to do.

Thanks for everything!! I'm so glad to hear that things are going well and that you're feeling strong. You definitely have my hand to hold, and I read somewhere here that when you're holding a hand, your hand is also being held. So the support works both ways. Just take it a minute at a time.

[Peaches04]

(((((((((Brenshay))))))))) I'm really happy for you - you are awesome!

[namommy]

Brenshay,

There is such a different feel to your posts today. They seem much more positive, that's awesome. I am so glad things are going well for you. As far as the sponsor thing, just call and say "Will you sponsor me?" That's it. You don't have to find a way to bring it up. Don't be shy, it is an honor when someone asks you to sponsor them, it will make her feel good as well.

[Phinneas]

Brenshay-- I have been holding my breath for you, hoping and praying that you would start to feel better. Not to be codie (ha), but only because I KNOW what you are going through. So I've been sending some vicarious support. Did you receive it? The gift of recovery is that there are others who understand and who can help you make it to the other side. That's why these boards, meetings, a sponsor and the god of our understanding is so important. I can't, but we can. Hang in there and keep coming back.

hugs,

jojo

[Brenshay]

>>>So I've been sending some vicarious support. Did you receive it?

I must have received it, because I've been having more good times than bad over the last two days. I truly do feel the support from all of you and it's more wonderful than I could have imagined.

I'm still having anxious times or feeling like I want to cry, but they are shorter and I just have to wait for them to pass. It helps that my kids are here with me today. I wouldn't want them to see me upset.

I just found out a few minutes ago that my 16-year-old niece who I love dearly was hospitalized for depression, and her family didn't tell any of us in the extended family. I'm just so sad for her. I have been in the hospital twice for the same thing, and although it can be helpful it really can be traumatizing. I was scared to death both times. I really hope I can reach out to her and try to help without angering her family. I'm not really sure what their reasons are. I hope I do the right thing.

[Phinneas]

Isn't the universe a wonderful place? Not that your neice is in the hospital for depression, but that you have been there and can reach out to her and giver her support because of some of your own experiences. That's how this stuff works, Brenshay, we all have so much to give (and receive, don't forget that part). I will be sending you and her and your family some extra prayers. In the meantime, stay focused on your own recovery. Without that you have only despair. Hang in there, dear.

jojo

[cj.]

Brenshay:

Way to go on your clean time!

Go ahead and simply ask that lady to be your sponsor. Our disease does not respect our shyness, it feeds off of it!!

cj