my demons are my drugs

[deicidaldust]

for years and years now i have struggled with life through drugs, i'm only 17 now but since i was 13 i've been addicted to speed and its only gotten worse. as the years went by and the heartache increased i became a heroin and crack and coke addict. i've hit my "rock bottom" several times and just cant seem to stop. i've torn apart my family and friends, been promiscuous and ruined my school oportunities... i would really like a sponsor or just someone to give me some feedback, i dont even really know what it is that i want but i'm hopeing that i'll see that one thing that will stand out and inspire me to rebuild what's left of my life. maybe i need jesus or buddha or just religion in general, but whatever it is i hope it comes soon, becuz i cant seem to die and i definitely dont want to keep on living like this.

[Nuke2033]

Well, I would recommend first realizing that drugs have messed up your life. Second, I would make a decision on whether or not I want to stop doing drugs. And if you really want to stop them, goto www.na.org and find a narcotics anonymous meeting in your area. I'll pray for you, and wish you best of luck. I promise that you definatly have the power to turn your life around. Things will never be like they were before, but at least they don't have to be like they are now.

/Blair, fellow addict

[ted]

WELCOME D,DUST.
THIS IS A GREAT PLACE FOR SUPPORT.
YOUR YOUNG YOU COULD FIND A BETTER WAY TO LIVE NOW,
OR YOU CAN DO LIKE I DID AND USE FOR THIRTY YEARS
WISHING YOU WERE DEAD. :banghead:
I ASSURE YOU IT'S NOT PLEASANT.
I AGREE WITH BLAIR,NA IS A GREAT WAY TO LEARN HOW TO TRULY LIVE. :na2
STICK AROUND,GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!!!.......ted

[servicejunkie]

Hi deicidalist, Welcome to SR!! I made the life changing decision to fight my "demons" off about 26 months ago. I also had to realize that the drugs were something that were stronger than myself, and that I could never be able to fight this disease by myself. I went to NA and found many others who were just like me, who understood me, and wanted to help me without wanting anything in return. I got clean when I was 24, but have MANY friends who have got clean and stayed clean in their late teens. There is hope for you, just make that decision to try something different with your life, and be willing to do what others who have been in your shoes before suggest. Don't let those "demons" tell you that you can't do it, or that you can't live and ENJOY life without drugs. When I got clean I thought the fun is over now that I have stopped, then I realized I really had no concept of what fun is!! I have lots of close friends today who loved me until I learned to love myself, who taught me how to live and enjoy life without drugs, who showed me how to change, and gave me unconditional love and acceptance. Hopefully your disease hasn't changed your mind about doing this by the time you read this, but let us know how you are doing and how we can help you and check out a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in your area if you are serious about this thing. Love & Respect, Mike

[Paulie]

Hi and welcome -

You have made the first step....you admitted you have a problem. Find a meeting in your area, get a sponsor, learn about the program. You can do this, just one day at a time.

[Frost]

Welcome! Keep coming back! Ask yourself if you really want to stop. If you answer yes, one day at a time, you never have to use again. It may seem hard at first but I promise you, if an addict like me can do it, you can too. We're here to help eachother.

You mentioned a sponsor. Go to meetings and don't look for one, look and listen for one. Find someone who's got what you want, who's working a program of recovery. Then all you have to do is ask. They may say no if they have a lot of sponsees or other committments but more often than not, the answer wil definitely be yes!





'Let it be.'



'One life you go to do what you should.'

[godsonmyside]

Welcome, what every one else said. Give yourself a break, look into NA where you are, show up and give it a chance, what have you got to lose. If your like me, not much. Keep posting, lots of good people here, just like us.
Todd J.

[oxy-cleaned]

Dear Deicidaldust:

Just in case you haven’t heard this in a while . . . you are a beautiful, amazing person. You deserve all of the good things life has to offer and are worthy of love and healing. There is nothing in life you cannot have if you just reach out and take it. If you try NA, you will find many people just like me, people who will love you until you can figure out how to love yourself.

I started getting high at age twelve, and by seventeen, I was exactly where you are right now. It took a while longer to get my act together, but trust me, there is nothing in life you cannot have. There is nothing in your life that cannot be fixed, and the sooner you start to fix it, the sooner you will find the happiness that you deserve. I thought I had ruined all of my school opportunities just like you, but today I have a Master’s degree. I didn’t have enough self-respect to save my sexual favors only for those people who were worthy of me, but now I have a wonderful, healthy, monogamous relationship with a man who worships me. I am an addict and will always be one, but I live a happy and fun life without drugs. I am not special; you can have all of these things too. I love you and God (and Buddha) loves you too. Take the first step.

[cj.]

Welcome d-dust:

I hope you will give NA a try and that you will find what you are looking for.

cj

Hey Dust,
I think you have to decide if you truly want to stop using? Or I you just in one of the low times? If your serious and want to quit definately go to an N.A. Meeting and check it out. Actually even if your not sure if your thru using you should go to a meeting. There is another way to live. I was a teenage heroin addict and it took me 15 years to reallly want it all to end.( My addiction, That is!!) I wish Iwas as young as you and realized that it was not the way I want to live. Get to a meeting and good luck!!!!!! Start by just not using today and see how that goes... it will get easier as you go,, I promise.
Mike

[namommy]

Welcome to SR. You have taken the first important step of asking for help. Now get to meetings, get a sponsor, get a support network, and keep posting here to learn what you can do about it.