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Old 11-01-2004, 02:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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almost made it

Well I almost made it to Monday without abusing the medicine I was given!! Then yesterday rolled around and HALLOWEEN!!!! I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I took more than i was supposed to. I started getting so anxious and stressed because I had so much to do and so little time it seemed!! I had to put the finishing touches on my 2 (almost 3) year olds Oompa Loompa costume that I made. I had to get myself ready, I was a Flapper, and then my sister came over so I could do her makeup and hair for a party. She was going as me........a Fallen Angel. At least that is how I feel. The whole day started out good and then our grandmother had to be rushed to the hospital and we had to cancel our trip to see President George Bush....which I was looking forward to. He was visiting our town today and it was a lonnnnnnnng wait to get those darn tickets. So, I just felt like I was constantly on the move and WOW that thing called addiction is STRONG!!!!!! I didn't go over board, but the fact that I gave in even a little is really a bummer!!! I have a huge proposal to give today at work (advertising & marketing) and my fingers are crossed!! I'm looking for STRENGTH!!! -WANT2BFREE

Last edited by want2bfree; 11-01-2004 at 02:23 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
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DON'T EVER QUIT QUITTING!!!
KEEP ON WITH YOUR COMMITMENT TO A CLEAN LIFE.
YOU DESERVE IT,STAY STRONG............ted
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Old 11-01-2004, 07:04 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It helps to remember why you wanted to quit in the first place. If you can keep the focus on why you want/need to stop, then it might help when the pills are calling you back. It worked for me...

Hang in there and don't give up on yourself, you deserve to recover. The drugs won't make you have a better day or help you cope with your problems, just help to create more...

Peace
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Old 11-02-2004, 09:23 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you...and I know your right. I am seeing my doctor again today to try and figure out another way to deal with this. The urge to take a pill is to strong if I have a whole freaking bottle staring me in the face. I am still taking more than I am supposed to .....but less than I was before..........does that count as tapering??? (just kidding of course) Well, thank you guys for your supportive words. They keep me going. I have been sooooooooooo moody lately....very impatient.....now that i am taking significantly less than I was. Thank you again. -WANT2BFREE
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Old 11-02-2004, 11:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hey want2bfree,

I've been clean from drugs now a couple weeks(except smoking, which I am quitting today), and I know how you feel. I found a method that works for me. I found out that when I really crave the drugs, I'm usually daydreaming about them and thinking on a lower level. I write on my hand or somewhere else where I am a lot of the time to "Wake Up!". When I see the message, I just sit back, exhale a big breath and tell myself:
"What the hell are you thinking? You've got a great future ahead of you, and you don't need these drugs. You're strong, and you won't let those idiotic pills control and ruin your life."

I guess you kinda have to try and "snap out" of the thought process leading you to want the drugs. I also try to think about how resisting the drugs helps teach me perseverance and gives me more strength.

This is what has been working for me, and maybe it will work for you, just give it a shot.

I will keep you in my prayers, and I want to give you strength and encouragement.

You can do it!

-Blair, fellow addict
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Old 11-02-2004, 04:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Well I told the doctor to DC the Lorcet and that I wanted to try something else. So, I was put on Klonopine, Ultram and Naproxen. Has anyone had any experience with Klonopine? So far, I just feel spacey and sort of like I am havine a hot flash from time to time. I hope it will help me to sleep. Today, I will be leaving Lorcet cold turkey....but these other meds are supposed to help with the W/D symptoms. Guess we will see. Thanks again for all the support. I am ready to do this!!! Looking forward to being free!!! -WANT2BFREE
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Old 11-03-2004, 06:26 AM   #7 (permalink)
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A new day!!

I had a WONDERFUL night sleep and I even woke up feeling great. It's been a day and a half since my last Lorcet (taper meds) and I feel incredible. I can't believe this. Normally I would be crawling out of my skin, feeling sick to my stomach, hot flashes and chills.......but there is NOTHING!!! I was given Klonopin to take for 4 days and so far it's working great. I feel soooooooooo happy. I haven't felt this way in soooo long. It's like a brand new day. I even colored my hair back to it's normal brunette color (after being Auburn for years).....a new improved me. My daughter told me that it looks beautiful, and that made me feel so good. Well, just wanted to keep you updated. Thank you again for all your support. Would not be here if it wasn't for SR and all the new friends I have made. I love you all. I will continue to check in many, many, many times each day. Staying strong and on my way to being free!!!! -WANT2BFREE
Hugs to all of you, my friends!!
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Old 11-03-2004, 11:12 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey,

That sounds great! I hope you continue sleeping well and making it through the day. You asked for some experience with Klonopin, and that was a drug I had used. For me, I used it for some anxiety after a really messy break up with a serious relationship. For me, it worked great about the first 2 days, then my tolerance built up way too fast and it didn't work anymore. I made the mistake of taking more and more and more, and mixing it and stuff, so don't do that, because it will build your tolerance, and it won't work anymore. Oh also, it is a Benzo, which you need to be careful with when you're about to stop taking it. Your doctor should have told you, but if he/she didn't (like mine didn't), you should know that you need to taper off of it kind of slowly, and not suddenly. If you stop taking it suddenly, it has some nasty side effects.

That's my experience with it, but above all, listen to what your doctor says.
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Old 11-03-2004, 11:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Thank you very much for the information. I will make sure to be careful with that. I think that my doctor has me tapering because I am going from 2 full ones a day to 1/2 ones and then to one 1/2 for a couple days and then stop. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't cause me any problems. Today has been amazing! I am remembering what it feels like to be happy for REAL and not a drug induced happy.
Thanks again- WANT2BFREE
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Old 11-04-2004, 06:57 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Keep being vigalent want2bfree!!! I'm glad you have stayed commited to doing something different and you are making it through those withdrawles. Did you check out a meeting yet???????
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Old 11-04-2004, 08:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Not yet, but I know I need to!!! I will. It's still going great! Feeling fresh and happy. Love the new me. Everyday is so beautiful now. This is an even better "warm-fuzzy" feeling than the one I got from Lorcet!!! Thanks for all the support and advice. -want2bfree
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Old 11-04-2004, 11:15 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Just remember, getting clean is the easy part, staying clean in the long run is the challenge. If nothing changes, your clean date will! Keep commin' back!!
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Old 11-04-2004, 04:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Yes.....I am figuring that out!!!!! Today is a hard day. Yesterday was great!! Today....has been hard. I feel kind of sad and low on energy. Moody. Hopefully this will pass. Still staying motivated!! Thanks again for all the support. -want2bfree
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