Sponsorship - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

j7104 · 10-17-2004, 12:17 PM

IM IN RECOVERY FOR THE FIRST TIME. HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH A.A. HAVE DONE FIRST THREE STEPS IN GROUP. LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR TO HELP ME WITH MY STEPWORK. IM LOCATED IN PHILLY, IN THE FRANKFORD AREA. REALLY WANT TO GET INTO MY STEPWORK ON A ONE ON ONE SITUATION. GRATEFUL TO A.A. IT HAS KEEP ME CLEAN 113 DAYS. WOULD LIKE TO BE MORE INFORMED ON THE N.A. SIDE OF THE TRACK. WOULD APPRECIATE ANYONE WILLING TO SPONSOR ME. HAVE N.A. BOOK. NEED A PERSON WHO CAN KEEP ME FOCUS AND DRIVEN. NO PUSHOVER NEED APPLY. AS AN ADDICT CAN BE MANIPULATIVE. WOULD LIKE A MALE SPONSOR TO EXPLAIN AND GUIDE ME THRIUGHLY THRU MY STEPS. DONT MIND STARTING FROM BEGINING IF NEEDED. HAVE QUITE A BIT OF WRITTEN WORK TO THIS POINT. WORKING STEP 4 ON MY OWN. KNOW THATS NOT A GOOD IDEA. HELP PLEASE.

namommy · 10-17-2004, 07:34 PM

j,

have you gone to the meetings I suggested? Get to meetings in your area, or surrounding area, and look for a male who has something you admire, something you would like to have. (serenity, stability, whatever). And ask him to sponsor you. Please don't try to do a 4th step alone.

Frost · 10-17-2004, 08:35 PM

Definitely don't try to do a fourth step alone. Also, there is a difference between doing steps in group and doing steps with a sponsor. If you feel comfortable in AA, that's great, work with an AA sponsor. If you're looking to switch to NA, work with an NA sponsor. I don't think it's a good idea to go to both fellowships because then you're not giving a group of people a chance to really know you and it's easy to BS one fellowship or the other rather than have a group of people who know you very well and can call you on your stuff. Choose a fellowship, get a sponsor in that fellowship, and work your steps with that sponsor. Just a suggestion.

Stepping Through Life...

Gooch · 10-17-2004, 09:03 PM

I have to agree based in my own experience. Trying to attend both fellowships may be confusing, overwhelming, and frustrating. It didn't work for me.

As my friend used to say.... "Drive a stake into the ground wherever you feel you relate the most. As you work teh steps it's like driving the anchor in deeper and deeper. When the wind starts to blow ( and it will) you will have a firm anchor point to hang on to."

Many of us are enthusiastic about working the steps hell bent to get to number 12 as if that in itself will ensure our success. If it worked that way, we wouldn't need to focus on "Just for Today". We could all be "fixed" in short order with willpower, and a pen and paper.

The important thing is to not pick up the first one no matter what, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps... Just For Today.

godsonmyside · 10-17-2004, 10:18 PM

Like everyone has said, One good thing to remember is that our best thinking got us here, so our best thinking-we have to give up. Your not alone, and doing the 4th step alone is not a good idea, even if it seems the like the best idea at the time. Go to NA meeting and talk to someone after the meeting, ask questions, bring up sponsorship as a topic. Just remember that you are not alone today and it wikk happen.
I might suggest reading the text, start with the very first page, its blank, thats what we know, the symbol is a very good start, and who is an addict and so on. Most important go to some NA meetings and show up. Go early offer to help set up, clean up, talk to others that you see can help you. Just do it.
Hope this helped some,
Todd J.

Frost · 10-17-2004, 10:37 PM

To add to what Gooch said, it's not a race to get through the steps. You know what happens after you've worked step 12??? You go back to 1 and work them again. This is an ongoing lifelong process. Get as much as you can from each step. 'Easy does it,' but do it. Everyone has their own process in this process of recovery. Go your pace.

Stepping Through Life...

Beloved · 10-17-2004, 11:31 PM

Hi j7104, you know anytime I wanted to get high I had to go to the source fill me. how can you ask for a sponsor on-line. sponsorship is about accountability , someone who believes in you and wants to help you in your recovery. one addict helping another.the mask (must) go , this is a spiritual program ,so honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are very important. when you make NA meetings and rise your hand to say your name honestly to the group you will not be a number, you will be a addict seeking recovery. have you really accepted your life as it is. and are you ready ,and willing to go to any lenght? then there are some steps in which you have to take.staying clean (must) come first along with a desire. you have to commitment to this new way of life, and that takes courage on your part , a lot of showing-up listening ,prayer and mediation, and the willingness to change. with one sponsor, and a lot of shared experience you can learn to build a relationship based on honesty , trust , and is able to reflect on your personal, and spiritual growth. which later allows you to appreciate that special person that (GOD) has placed in your life. a sponsor is another recovering addict . with a working knowledge of the 12 steps. get a sponsor that has a sponsor. they are to carry the message of NA , and not the addict. they help you to uncover, and discover self one day at a time. but what truly makes a good sponsor is a good sponsee. It is a two-way street. A sponsor can't give what they don't have. so shop around you would be placing your life in someones hands. so keep your eyes and ears open , and also share that you are in need of a sponsor, and some of the older members may guide you to one that is capable of sponsorship. find yourself a Home-Group that can be very helpful. So try stepin out on some faith , you know faith with- out work is Dead. But in the mean time keep comin back more will be revealed .Who's an addict most of us don't have to think twice about this guestion we know. and if nothing changes then you know what,

that same addict will use AGAIN! Love Ya (Beloved).

dubloosh · 10-30-2004, 11:21 AM

i agree . . . i was told to find someone who has what i want and ask how it was achieved, yet when i was new i had no idea what i wanted or how to get it so i listened at meetings - my first sponsor was the leader of my first-ever meeting, and i was so lost i just went up to her at the end and told her i need help - and i am grateful she said yes . . .

people ask me all kinds of questions before they ask me to sponsor them as if i may not understand their stuff or situations or life experience, etc.; my feeling is we all find our way here for a reason, and i know i turned to food and alcohol to cope with life, and now i turn to program - and the way i keep it is by sharing with others . . .

10-17-2004, 12:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
j7104 Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: PHILADELPHIA PA Posts: 3	Sponsorship IM IN RECOVERY FOR THE FIRST TIME. HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH A.A. HAVE DONE FIRST THREE STEPS IN GROUP. LOOKING FOR A SPONSOR TO HELP ME WITH MY STEPWORK. IM LOCATED IN PHILLY, IN THE FRANKFORD AREA. REALLY WANT TO GET INTO MY STEPWORK ON A ONE ON ONE SITUATION. GRATEFUL TO A.A. IT HAS KEEP ME CLEAN 113 DAYS. WOULD LIKE TO BE MORE INFORMED ON THE N.A. SIDE OF THE TRACK. WOULD APPRECIATE ANYONE WILLING TO SPONSOR ME. HAVE N.A. BOOK. NEED A PERSON WHO CAN KEEP ME FOCUS AND DRIVEN. NO PUSHOVER NEED APPLY. AS AN ADDICT CAN BE MANIPULATIVE. WOULD LIKE A MALE SPONSOR TO EXPLAIN AND GUIDE ME THRIUGHLY THRU MY STEPS. DONT MIND STARTING FROM BEGINING IF NEEDED. HAVE QUITE A BIT OF WRITTEN WORK TO THIS POINT. WORKING STEP 4 ON MY OWN. KNOW THATS NOT A GOOD IDEA. HELP PLEASE.

10-17-2004, 07:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,711	j, have you gone to the meetings I suggested? Get to meetings in your area, or surrounding area, and look for a male who has something you admire, something you would like to have. (serenity, stability, whatever). And ask him to sponsor you. Please don't try to do a 4th step alone. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous

10-17-2004, 10:18 PM	#5 (permalink)
godsonmyside Vision of Hope Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Living on This side of the green!! Posts: 1,062	Like everyone has said, One good thing to remember is that our best thinking got us here, so our best thinking-we have to give up. Your not alone, and doing the 4th step alone is not a good idea, even if it seems the like the best idea at the time. Go to NA meeting and talk to someone after the meeting, ask questions, bring up sponsorship as a topic. Just remember that you are not alone today and it wikk happen. I might suggest reading the text, start with the very first page, its blank, thats what we know, the symbol is a very good start, and who is an addict and so on. Most important go to some NA meetings and show up. Go early offer to help set up, clean up, talk to others that you see can help you. Just do it. Hope this helped some, Todd J. __________________ We get relief through the Twelve Steps which are essential to the recovery process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to participate in our own recovery. We Do Recover Todd J.

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10-17-2004, 08:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
Frost Learning To Let It Be Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New York Posts: 156	Definitely don't try to do a fourth step alone. Also, there is a difference between doing steps in group and doing steps with a sponsor. If you feel comfortable in AA, that's great, work with an AA sponsor. If you're looking to switch to NA, work with an NA sponsor. I don't think it's a good idea to go to both fellowships because then you're not giving a group of people a chance to really know you and it's easy to BS one fellowship or the other rather than have a group of people who know you very well and can call you on your stuff. Choose a fellowship, get a sponsor in that fellowship, and work your steps with that sponsor. Just a suggestion. *Stepping Through Life...*

10-17-2004, 09:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
Gooch Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: out there... Posts: 2,668	I have to agree based in my own experience. Trying to attend both fellowships may be confusing, overwhelming, and frustrating. It didn't work for me. As my friend used to say.... "Drive a stake into the ground wherever you feel you relate the most. As you work teh steps it's like driving the anchor in deeper and deeper. When the wind starts to blow ( and it will) you will have a firm anchor point to hang on to." Many of us are enthusiastic about working the steps hell bent to get to number 12 as if that in itself will ensure our success. If it worked that way, we wouldn't need to focus on "Just for Today". We could all be "fixed" in short order with willpower, and a pen and paper. The important thing is to not pick up the first one no matter what, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps... Just For Today.

10-17-2004, 10:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
Frost Learning To Let It Be Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New York Posts: 156	To add to what Gooch said, it's not a race to get through the steps. You know what happens after you've worked step 12??? You go back to 1 and work them again. This is an ongoing lifelong process. Get as much as you can from each step. 'Easy does it,' but do it. Everyone has their own process in this process of recovery. Go your pace. *Stepping Through Life...*

10-17-2004, 11:31 PM	#7 (permalink)
Beloved Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: chicago,illinois Posts: 45	Hi j7104, you know anytime I wanted to get high I had to go to the source fill me. how can you ask for a sponsor on-line. sponsorship is about accountability , someone who believes in you and wants to help you in your recovery. one addict helping another.the mask (must) go , this is a spiritual program ,so honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are very important. when you make NA meetings and rise your hand to say your name honestly to the group you will not be a number, you will be a addict seeking recovery. have you really accepted your life as it is. and are you ready ,and willing to go to any lenght? then there are some steps in which you have to take.staying clean (must) come first along with a desire. you have to commitment to this new way of life, and that takes courage on your part , a lot of showing-up listening ,prayer and mediation, and the willingness to change. with one sponsor, and a lot of shared experience you can learn to build a relationship based on honesty , trust , and is able to reflect on your personal, and spiritual growth. which later allows you to appreciate that special person that (GOD) has placed in your life. a sponsor is another recovering addict . with a working knowledge of the 12 steps. get a sponsor that has a sponsor. they are to carry the message of NA , and not the addict. they help you to uncover, and discover self one day at a time. but what truly makes a good sponsor is a good sponsee. It is a two-way street. A sponsor can't give what they don't have. so shop around you would be placing your life in someones hands. so keep your eyes and ears open , and also share that you are in need of a sponsor, and some of the older members may guide you to one that is capable of sponsorship. find yourself a Home-Group that can be very helpful. So try stepin out on some faith , you know faith with- out work is Dead. But in the mean time keep comin back more will be revealed .Who's an addict most of us don't have to think twice about this guestion we know. and if nothing changes then you know what, that same addict will use AGAIN! Love Ya (Beloved).

10-30-2004, 11:21 AM	#8 (permalink)
dubloosh Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: somewhere in time Posts: 5	i agree . . . i was told to find someone who has what i want and ask how it was achieved, yet when i was new i had no idea what i wanted or how to get it so i listened at meetings - my first sponsor was the leader of my first-ever meeting, and i was so lost i just went up to her at the end and told her i need help - and i am grateful she said yes . . . people ask me all kinds of questions before they ask me to sponsor them as if i may not understand their stuff or situations or life experience, etc.; my feeling is we all find our way here for a reason, and i know i turned to food and alcohol to cope with life, and now i turn to program - and the way i keep it is by sharing with others . . .

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