Sponsor trouble

[amie_va]

My sponsor and her husband are breaking up. The trouble is, her husband is the best friend I have, and has been, long before she was my sponsor. Her husband is also my fiancee's sponsor. The whole thing feels like a soap opera, and my instinct is to run from them all, and stay away till it's sorted itself out.
. I need a sponsor, and I don't want others' troubles to become my own, but I just don't feel like I can talk to her right now. This is none of my affair, I know, but I'm angry at the way my sponsor is handling things, and I feel like my friend is being treated badly.
I guess I don't know what I'm feeling right now, other than that I'm very confused. I don't even know what I'm asking for. I just haven't stopped thinking about it since I found out. I'm supposed to work a step with her next week! Help!!

[sherbear5104]

amie,

I would suggest saying a prayer. Ask your higher power for guidance with this. I have found that when I am having trouble making a choice, and I pray about it, I somehow seem to hear the answer that I need. If you need to find a new sponsor, then do it. Many of us need to move on to new sponsors. I had to find a new one when I had 2 months clean. I prayed about it, and God put a wonderful lady in my path. Hang in there!

Sherry

[Imagine]

amie, Just want to say our own recovery comes first, and I second what Sherry said. Pray about it, and listen for your answer, it will come. Easy does it, and keep coming back.

[godsonmyside]

It's been said, prayer and meditation. But I think you already know what you've gotta do. No such thing as the perfect sponsor, just its time to move on. Good luck!!!
Todd

[servicejunkie]

Prayer and meditation plus discussing it with those with experience will give great results. I can understand your problem, I have been going through a divorce and the friends thing is a tough issue. I could imagine your concern and confusion considering this is your sponsor. Just remember one thing, in many divorces, no one is really at fault. These things do just happen, and I'm sure if you wait until the dust settles and they get through their anger/hostility phase, your relationship with your sponsor and friend will likely flourish. Just stay on the sidelines and remain a nuetral party. I know, easier said than done. True friends are unconditional, and there have been many times when my sponsor has greatly needed ME. Heck, just last night I went and bought a cake for a sponcee brothers aniversary and gave him a tri plated medallion I purchased for a sponsee of mine, to get him out of a bind. There was a time 5-6 months ago when he was on the verge of suicide, a letter I wrote may have saved his life. I would definately suggest getting someone in your area to kind of be a temporary sponsor to help you though this time and keep you on the recovery path until your sponsor can be their. Although, working with you may be just what your sponsor needs to get out of her head these difficult times, I know my sponcees carried me through my divorce. Anyway, I know I'm just rambling, but you will likely not find that many people who have been in that same situation, maybe I'm wrong. Pray for guidance and strength. Glad you are here, keep commin' back!!

[Recoveree]

Hmmmm...
friendship or sponsorship... tough choice

What are you going to do??

[amie_va]

I'd like to thank everyone who shared! There's a lot of recovery in what ya'll said. It was a tough situation to discuss with anyone, because it wasn't my story to tell, and there was almost no way to tell anyone what was bothering me without identifying the involved parties. In the end, it came down to the fact that a good friend is harder to find than a good sponsor, for me, anyway. I look to a sponsor for guidance through the steps, and luckily my area abounds with folks who work good programs.
A friend that I love and trust, who has been there for me at 4:00 am and went to pick up my b/f from a corner downtown, where he'd given up his binge and called for help, with his sponsor, now that's not something you'll find abounding anywhere. I have not fired my sponsor, and I hope I don't have to. I've decided to remain Swiss in the whole deal, if they'll let me, and love them both.

[Recoveree]

.

[Gooch]

((((((Amie))))))) God bless ya !