2nd step struggle.

[namommy]

I know there is a thread for a 2nd step study, but I am going through a specific difficulty right now.

I have been completely through the steps once, and partially through them 3 times. (around here, when you change sponsors they start you back at step 1). Well, I am doing step 2 AGAIN. The problem I am having is in my own mind. I currently have a good relationship with my Higher Power who I choose to call God. When I first did the steps, I didn't, so it was obvious why there was a need to do a thorough 2nd step, I needed to COME to believe. Well, Now I already believe, what am I going to COME to believe in this time?

I don't know if this even makes any sense to me. I know that we must continue to recovery, and each time we go through the steps, we develope a deeper understanding, but I am struggling with this one. How much deeper can my understanding of this step get. I know there is a power greater than me that can and will restore me to sanity. I try my best to live in faith rather than fear. But, I am also sure I am missing something here. Whenever I find myself questioning my step work, it is usually something very obvious staring me right in the face.

Can someone please help me see it.

[Paulie]

Hmmmm, interesting. I am on my steps for the 3rd time and I did not feel this in the 2nd step. It reconfirmed what I had already come to believe. And let me tell you I need reconfiming alot (my head is not a good place to go alone).

As with my relationship with my husband, or any relationship for that matter, there is always work to be done, always improvements to be made.

Don't stress over it, don't think the heck out of it, just keep believing. This could be a good place for you to be right now with the whole work situation. You know, came to believe that a ..... his will not yours.

And here, you have to start over when you get a new sponsor to.

Remember, we are where we are supposed to be for a reason.

[godsonmyside]

"The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring, and greater than ourselves. We don't have to be religious to accept this idea. The point is that we open our minds to believe."
Basic Text, p.24

I have recently come to a new understanding of the 2nd step. I believe in the process of the 12 steps and the energy of the fellowship, "other than my own energy". It was pointed out to me that it doesn't say God here, says we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves Could restore us to sanity. I believe that doing the samething over and over expecting diffent results is a form of denial. The reality thing is a good starting point for me, and my perspective on insanity is Doing what we do, knowing the difference and doing anyway, Thats insane to me. I do believe God does guide me and makes it so I don't have to make the unmanageability turn out the way I want it to.
Once I came to believe in this process at a new level, I found a new Hope as well. Hope is a key principle of step 2. and I believe I respect the other steps in a different light this way.
I am crazy too,lol, but I'm living and enjoying life as others do, it's all good than, right!!
Todd

[namommy]

Did you people talk to my sponsor? lol

I was just able to talk to my sponsor about this, and she started laughing. She said that just yesterday she had this conversation with her sponsor. She has been through the steps about 6 times I think she said, (she has 22 years clean) and when she was at her sponsors house yesterday she was given another 2nd step. She had the same thoughts I am having. And, she was told that it is a reconfirming of our belief. And, that is what she told me. After talking for a while, we realized that there are quite a few women in our sponsorship chain that are doing the 2nd step at this time both new and old. We talked about getting together once a week for a step study group. So far, she has gotten some positive feedback on it. I think it would be good for all of us. I am still not sure where my mind is on this, but at least I have a little bit of an understanding of where it is supposed to be.

[cady2004]

Well for me going thru the step work already ready and willing to believe in a hp that is God. I found myself right were you are grinding the idea into mince meat and what my counclor told me was to stop thinking and just believe that there is more each day that my hp wants me to see and seek answers in prayer. go back to think where i was thinkwhere i am and think where God wants me to be TODAY...
1 clean and sober
2 beilieve and living in his will
3 not asking why but how can i do what your will is?
hope this helps..
take care

[Gooch]

I'm pretty sane these days.... (relative to the insanity I lived prior to recovery).. I suppose I could stop right here and maybe that would be enough. No way! If this is what it's like now because I didn't stop the first time I enjoyed some sanity...... wow I can't imagine how much more I might miss out on.

[namommy]

You know what, as I said, the answer is probably right in front of me. I read the Just for Today meditation every morning. I read it THIS morning, but I didn't realize what it said until I heard it tonite at the meeting. The answer to my question was right in front of me since I first woke up this morning. I was just so caught up in, WHATEVER, to be aware of it.