bf is a liar, still using and sneaking around

[Luckydog]

I am so upset and not sure what I am going to do about my bf sneaking around and lying to me about not using mj. It has been a nice 14months clean for me....ups and downs included. the bf says what I didnt know hasnt hurt my recovery program and he has no intention of not using. we were engaged in feb and looking to marry in nov 05......not anymore....this wedding for sure will be put off for this reason alone. I am positive that I do not want to marry into a persistant smoking relationship. when i told him ....didnt bother him at all.....!!! he refuses to think he needs help "its only mj" ..............yeah, thats what i thought too.

anyway....just asking for support. I am totally blown away by this and I am so mad at him, the mj, my life.......help!

[ted]

HEY LUCKY,DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOUR RECOVERY.
WE CAN ONLY FIX US.I HOPE HE SEE'S TO GET SOME HELP.
STICK AROUND,LOTS OF GREAT PEOPLE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.
........ ted

[lonlion]

You are a lucky dog. You're lucky that you're clean, and you're lucky that you hadn't married him and then come to this conclusion. Good for you! I went into treatment because of mj, and no body will ever be able to tell me its just a recreational drug. Abuse is abuse no matter what the substance. Stay clean, and take care of yourself. It's a well known fact that we don't make good choices for life partners when we are actively using. I also had to let go of a love relationship, and its hard as hell.
Keep your chin up and know you have a great support system here.
All the best

[sherbear5104]

Hey Lucky,

Like it was said, better you find out before you got married. Maybe by being firm in your decision, he will come to the conclusion that he needs to stop. If not, maybe he's not the one your HP has in store for you. Pray about it and your HP will guide you. Keep your head up!

Sherry

[Luckydog]

I feel so depressed about this. MY sponsor is very supportive and and says very much the same things I find being said here. I think I feel so much pain bc in my heart I know that he is aways going to choose mj over me....isnt that depressing!! It makes my stomach turn. Not that I didnt dish out my grief over many years to family and friends this very same way......now the circle is complete....mj ....... my own crap has come home.

chin is up; but not happy about it.
Lucky

[blue_eyes18]

Well, I can't be with the guy I care about cause he is recovering and this is too much for both of us. We are officially keeping our distance right now from each other. Just wanted to let ya know it sucks bad. Bye yall!