Struggling Addict Needs Help

[HMAN]

How do I start this. I am a addict who has relapse and is having a very difficult time staying Clean and Sober. I have said I was done, thru, finished, etc..... and still pick up. I am just not sure about anything. I have head full of " NO What To Does" But never do...... I have great Sponsor,and a Girl Friend in Recovery who has hung in there no matter what. :tongue2: I have posted on this board about 6 months ago "User Name/ Dizzy-D. Looking for something to turn the light bulb back on. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!!!!! This life of substances is just not working. I can't even drown out the feelings....... Not on the pity pot. But I am good at it. That don't even work..... Here I go again and recomitt my self to recovery.

HMAN

[ted]

WHAT'S UP,I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT BASEBALL.
I'M TED,DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER ME OR NOT.
YOU ARE SICK AND TIRED?YOU HAVE LOTS OF SUPPORT DIZZ.
REACH OUT YOUR HAND,SOMEONE WILL GRAB IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!
I'VE RELAPSED MYSELF,DOSN'T MATTER.
WHAT DOES MATTER IS TODAY!
DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER TODAY!!!!
GLAD YOUR BACK DIZZ,LOOKING FORWARDS TO SEEING YOU AT THE ONLINE MTGS. AGAIN.
..............................ted

[splendra]

Hman-

Welcome back!! Is your sponcer your girl friend? I am not clear on who your sponcer is. My A/H wants me to be his sponcer but, I am too close to be his sponcer. Our sponcer needs to be the same gender that we are. Otherwise we are likely to get caught up in emotion that carries us away from recovery.
A sponcer of your same gender in recovery knows better how to guide you out. Too often opposite genders will just start a sexual relationship and then two people get caught back up in their addiction.

Our recovery has to come first. I hope this helps something ((((((big hug)))))) 4 U

[Gooch]

Got a Basic Text H man?

I got my first text in 1988 but really never read it for myself. ( I read along at meetings and read the stories in the back but never really read all teh other stuff and related to it.

Around new years of 1989 I stopped going to meetings and it wasn't long into 1990 before I got arrested again. It took almost exactly a year to get my case to court and teh day I was standing in court gettiug sentenced, I thought of all the people I knew in nA that hadn't stopped going to meetings, had stayed clean, and weren't going to jail.

I got back into reading my text while I was sitting in jail and when I got out of jail the first thing I did was get to a meeting. That was nearly 14 years ago. I've been clean ever since.

An addict any addict can stop using, lose the desire to use and learn a new way to live.

Don't beat yourself up. Read Recovery and relapse and see what jumps out with your name on it and makes you feel like you identify with it.

and keep coming back!

[godsonmyside]

That head full of know all, apply it to your life. The answers are right in front of you, go ask that great sponsor to help you put the answers where the belong. I have been in your shoes, and I've walked around recovery for along time, even after time when I though I had all the answer, I wasn't strong enough to stand alone. We have a disease that will promise the world, give nothing and take everything. Give yourself a break, give it a chance.

[cady2004]

Hey there HMAN here is something that hit me in the head when i first started this road to recovery. See my family had done outpatient with my uncle and he relapsed too. it took me almost 13 years to relize it was my life too. see i was 12 when he went thru rehab and even though i understood i was still using thinking that isnt me but i went from there to age 32 and saw that i had a big problem i relapsed at 1 day before my 6 month birthday and relized the power i lost by giving in to my habit. so then i plunged back in here and i now have 11 1/2 months i will be celebratiing my 1 year birthday this Oct 11,2004 and i have so much more life and power but giving up my power to control life. God does that for me Now. It is not easy but i do it anyway.

i will send you a prayer that helped me out alot

[Imagine]

Hey Hman, after throwing 3 and 1/2 years away myself in 1999 and making it back into the rooms alive, I first had to accept that I didnot know sh!!. In those 3 1/2 years I had went thru the steps with my sponsor but I didnot apply any of them to my life. I was the GSR for my home group and involved in getting West GA Area Service started back up. I knew I didnot have to use, my sponsor helped me to see that I was in a relapse long before I ever picked up. The beautiful thing about this program is we can grow stronger out of a bad decision, it does take putting our all into our program. We are not responsible for our addiction, but we are responsible for our recovery. You are in my prayers also, and keep coming back...................Peace

[cady2004]

We are truely not responsible for our addiction
but we are responsible for our recovery and if you
just keep comming back you will hear what you need to hear
and be able to stay here.. take care

[namommy]

Welcome Home.

I relapsed alot, for 3 years in and out of the rooms. Finally, I got a clue. I didn't know sh**. I only knew how to do 2 things, get high and f***. When I realized that these things weren't going to get me anywhere, I surrendered. I started doing what people suggested. I came to meetings early, stayed late, got a sponsor, started LIVING the steps, got involved with service, and kept my recovery priority.(hence the name NAMOMMY, the 2 most important things in my life, my recovery and my family, without the first I wouldn't have the second.)

Rather than say Keep Coming Back, I am going to say STAY it is easier.

[Sugar Glider Gal]

Hi Hman ....something about your post struck me and made me think....it sounds to me as though that "lighbulb" is already turned back "on" and now you just need to let it's light lead you down the right path to recovery again.

I won't sit here and pretend to know what type of stuggles you go through, for what I know of addiction comes from being on the other side of things. It is my boyfriend who is the recoverying addict in my life, I have never been a user.

But I do that anyone that takes the step in admitting they are addicted, or stuggling, is taking a step in the right direction and wanting to make a change in thier life. To me that takes a lot of courage and strength and I think that sometimes people are feeling as though they are stuggling so much that they forget to take a look at the things they have accomplished. Just your coming back here seeking the support of others and expressing yourself if an accomplishment and a step in the right direction.

I'm glad you have chosen to come back and I wish you well and hope that you will find lots of loving support here that will help you along your journey of recovery.

Moostang Rita

[tracylivin]

There is no set amount of relapses it will take to finally stay sober. When you are truly ready you will hear the message. Remember, if at first you don't suceed try, try again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tracylivin

[Shakur T.]

Peace & Blessings Hman,
Glad to see you make it back, alot don't...
I have been there too, multiple attempts/multiple relapses. Just couldn't seem to get it together. I had a great sponsor too, he was so good that he told me to write on Step One as if my life depended on it (because it did). Anyway, I started writing, going to meetings, talking with other addicts, getting rid of the "I-know-that's" and I have not used since... Hang in there man. You can do this. The steps are our defense against this deadly disease.
addict named, Shakur