need some help on letting go of a relationship

[charliebrown]

4 years ago when i came back into the program i did the dreaded 13th step. neither of us were newcomers to the program, me with 10 years in (not all clean), and him with 4 years in ( all clean). He was Mr. NA in our group, very spiritual, and we both thot it was a God Thang. We married a year later.
I thot we would be together forever.
In June this year, i was blindsided when he told me he was no longer happy in our relationship, and wanted a divorce. he quickly moved on to another relationship, even tho our divorce has not even started.
During the time we've been apart, he has come to me once, crying and saying he missed me, wanted a friendship, that i was the only person he could talk to, but at the same time, he planned to continue this other relationship. i couldn't do it. i still love and want him to be mine.
i really don't want to lose him totally out of my life, but it seems the only way for me to survive the emotional pain is to do just that. even to be around our same home group/friends in recovery keeps me crying all the time.
i moved away, and have started connecting with another recovering community. this feels better but i miss him and my home group.
if anyone has experience, strenth, and hope to share, i sure can use it right now. thanks!

[JT]

First let me say that your personal recovery should stay #1 at all times but I am sure you know that. It is not impossible for you to have a friendly relationship down the line but things are very raw right now. You have to allow yourself to grieve the loss. Crying is a normal outlet so go for it. Just try not to stay stuck and use all you have going for you to move through the stages and back to happy, joyous and free!

Hugs,
JT