Need some prayers....please!

[jpc2505]

Technically this is day four of sobriety (as of midnight), and has been rocky but not too bad...till tonight. My boyfreind was laid off of work a couple of months ago and shortly after he recieved a check from our insurance company for a wreck last year. We were going to pay up the bills since he had just started his new job and we were a little behind from the lapse in paychecks. Well, he told me all the bills were paid but last week his cell phone was cut off. He said he'd forgotten to pay it for the last several months and the bill was around $300. I took his word for it and never voiced that nagging doubt that maybe he'd spent the money on coke (we were both still using at the time, but as far as I known the bills were caught up and he never used without me). Today the phone bill came in...for almost $200...with a disconnect notice. When I asked him about it, I asked if he'd really forgotten or if he intentionally hadn't paid it. He got really angry, slammed the door then started screaming at me. I'm scared that he's still using, or that he was using even more than I new about during this time. I don't know what other bills may be unpaid, and am scared to think about how much debt we may be in. I do know one thing...this strenghtens my resolve to kick this damn drug. He doesn't want to attend meetings or even talk about quitting, but I'll be damned if his mistakes are going to make me do coke again.

[Gooch]

Congrats on day 4

prayers for ya jpc.

You've decided to get straight but you'll find that your recovery will be challenged frequently by the rest of the world staying the way it does, This includes family members, friends and others who don't jump on the wagon with you.

The only person we can keep clean is ourself.

You may want to browse the posts on the friends and families forums to get an idea of how people cope with living with an active addict.

[charliebrown]

My prayers for you too! The 1st 3 steps help me when dealing with just about anything in life. When i can truly accept my powerlessness and unmanagability as it relates to people in my life, then i'm more able to focus on what i need to do for me. "Came to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity" helps me to see that i don't have the answers, and that the program of narcotics anonymous does have a way for me to get to my solutions. And the Most helpful of all is always "made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this Higher Power who I call H.P". This one started out being the most confusing one for me, and still is sometimes, because a lot of the time what i want to happen is not happening. And this is where my sponser helps me out tremendously..... I'm just learning how to work the program, and to let it work for me! And despite all the recent very painful changes in my life, i feel better, and more hopeful about myself and my recovery than i ever have. have a lot of years trying this thing, but only 90 days clean time now. i believe in this program, seen it work for lots of people!! Keep coming back!