Help with Traditions !!!!!

[steveg]

Our NA group has a newcomer (less than 90 days) who was chosen to set up and lead our meeting. This person is bringing three shopping bags of refreshments, sodas, cakes, cheese, etc and setting them up for the group to munch on. This person is purchasing all of this with their own money and is their idea. Our group as well as every other group usually only has the usual coffee.

There is some talk going around about is this a good thing for the person or the group? Are there traditions that address this? Need some input concerning a chair person providing these things unsolicited on their own.

Thanks

[splendra]

I say just enjoy the treats!!! Perhaps you are worried about expectations. Will you be expected to bring all these snacks in the future? Let it go don't worry about it.

Maybe the person just wants to give something and this is how they want to do it. I go to one meeting where they have all kinds of snacks it is a pot luck kind of thing I like to go to it especially if I am hungry it is a speaker meeting and i can eat and listen and drink coffee...

[stud0134]

well I dont see anything wrong if this person doesnt feel obligated.We have people at alot of our meetings that bring cookies and cakes and stuff all the time to munch on we have eating meetings food seems to be a big part of recovery here anyways but I think as long as this person doesnt feel obligated that than its no big deal.love ya I hope that helps

[Gooch]

7th tradition stuff.

not a big deal as long as noone expects it all the time and nobody gets there boxers wadded up, because he thought of it and they didn't. Some people think it can be misconstrued as promotional. (ie: come to our meeting because we always have goodies).

I think it's a nice jesture when done in the spirit of generosity, with no expectations on anyone's part.

Some times other people read more into the motive than is really there.

A brother in my area used to pay for cleaning supplies for the service center and at some point area had a big discussion about it. Afterward so no noses got broke, he just had to submit a receipt for the sundries and whatnot for reimbursement.

Some of the service junkies will scream because theres no new blood getting into service but you have to wrestle the broom out of their hands after a dance when you try and help clean up, or they mean well to assit and guide the newbies on committees, but thers a generational gap thing that happens, and the oldtimers feel like the whippersnappers are taking over while the newbies think the old timers are control freaks. In reality it's a little of both happening. lol

[WeDoRecover]

Ain't nothing wrong with some snacks!! Seriously, I don't think some cookies with coffee are a big deal but if this person is literally providing three garbage bags full of food, that's a bit excessive. Not to mention distracting if people are getting up during the meeting to get more or smacking all throughout the meeting. Maybe you could tell the newcomer that the gesture is thoughtful but maybe tone it down a bit.

I agree with what Gooch said about service btw. I tend to stay away from area, too many personalities.

[Gooch]

you could always manipulate him and tell him that the low fat burning metabolism addicts are having a hard time having "just one".

[margo]

This topic has come up at my home group and area, and the consensus was that a member could donate as long as whatever was being donated wasn't provided by an outside party. This is usually just things like candles, a can of coffee, etc, not bags full!

I'm no shrink, but my first thought when reading your post was that perhaps this new member is lacking in self-esteem and may feel that s/he has to "buy" acceptance. If there is concern about whether donating all these items is good for him/her, perhaps a kind word from a member or two assuring them of their value to the group would be all that is needed to make them feel accepted and a part of.

[godsonmyside]

Well at about 3 month you really do start to get the munchies again.lol Its not an outside contribution, its another member, you are a member when you say you are. I sponsor a guy that puts $20 in the basket every week, His choice, I think its more of a give back thing. Also at my Homegroup a member bought a coffee maker. Now if the people at the church paid for the coffee maker and brought it to our meeting, that would be an outside contribution. Tradition 4: Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or N.A. as a whole. Just probably makes this person feel good. Maybe let them know that it is appreciated, and that if its not distrcting the group as a whole, life goes on.

[Peter]

Tradition that comes to mind is obviously 7 th Tradition.

I personally see nothing wrong with individual members making generous contributions but on the other hand I believe there has to be some limit set on how much an individual can contribute for obvious reasons.

"He who pays the piper calls the tune."

If the group is having trouble with it let the group concience decide,besides for all his good intents I doubt if this will last very long.

[servicejunkie]

I have seen some very good points bought up on this thread. The first part of the 7th tradition reads every NA GROUP ought to be fully self supporting. If you check our literature, it suggests against one or two well off members paying the groups way. We can only give our part, no more, no less. $20 a meeting also seems like way to much, where does it end?? What if he purchased properties for a clubhouse, what about leaving money in his will for NA?? Its not an "outside contribution", but will create problems of money, property, or PRESTIGE. I sponsor a few guys that are VERY well off, and I suggest they give just as much as everyone else, but not to much. I do suggest that they purchase books and literature to give to newcomers as part of their 9th step indirect ammends. If you email the WSO regarding this I would think you would get a similar responce. Giving more that others can lead to many problems, it may make other members, especially other newcomers, feel less than or that they have to give this much or do this much if they are to get respect and approval from others. The person giving so much can also suffer from an inflated ego as a result, or may place expectations upon the group to treat him a certain way. I can also see some problems it may create with other groups as well. Anyone who has worked the steps with several people know that most all of us have the defect of fear of not being accepted or fear of rejection. I'm sure he is very grateful for what NA has done for him, and it is awesome he is doing some things to be a part of service in the home group level. This is a delicate situation and If you do ask him to tone things down a bit, let him know how much you appreciate his help and support. Get some other group members views with experience and allow Group conscience to decide how to approach this subject. Mike

[godsonmyside]

Sometimes members who can afford it kick a little extra in to help. Sometimes a few get together and put on some activity to help raise funds. These efforts help a lot and without them, much that we have been given to do would have had to be left undone. N.A. remains a shoe-string operation, and even though it's sometimes frustrating, we really wouldn't have it any other way; we know the price would be too high to bear.

I found this in the 7th Tradition reading. Sometime there are members a little more fortunate than others, If what someone does is effecting the group as a whole, group conscience in trusted to God for solutions will reveal the answer.