Relaspe... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

jen32 · 08-30-2004, 04:57 PM

Hello my name is Jen and I had a year clean on Aug. 3rd and I was waiting to get my 1 year chip and something happened, I didn't even really think about it before it happened. I relasped. A 'friend' gave me a Vicidan and I took it and I liked it, next thing I knew I was smoking a foil and drinking a beer and then I figured I already screwed up my program so I smoked some pot. It sucks!! I went to a meetig on Friday and I started crying so I left. I have been in contact with some recovery buddies over the weekend and it has helped. I am coming to realize that just like the addiction, recovery is work. Sometimes hard work. Thanks for listening.

Paulie · 08-30-2004, 06:28 PM

Hi Jen -

The important thing is you made it back. Cry it is okay to cry, then you have to pick yourself up and start again. You are still alive, there is a chance for recovery.

Keep talking to those recovery buddies....we all need each other.

jasonl82 · 08-30-2004, 07:12 PM

Jen I'm grateful to hear you made it back, so many of us relapse and never do. I myself relapsed last new years after 7 months of clean time. The hardest thing was coming back but it's definetly worth it. Don't let the shame or guilt of relapse affect you, we all have just for today and keeping that in mind can help you stay clean.

KelKel · 08-30-2004, 07:27 PM

Hi Jen
So glad you found this site...

So you had a slip, learn from it and get on with your recovery.
Our addictions sneak up on us...
try to look at the things that led up to your addiction...
What things and thoughts were going on with you.
What happened to you and the thought patterns you shared with us are typical of an addict.
So just remember that you are not alone in this endeavor and I hope you stick around here and add this place to your box of recovery tools.

Gooch · 08-31-2004, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen32

A 'friend' gave me a Vicidan and I took it and I liked it, next thing I knew I was smoking a foil and drinking a beer and then I figured I already screwed up my program so I smoked some pot.

My friend used to say it doesn't matter how many freight cars run over us after the engine hits us. one is too many and a thousand never enough.. of anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen32

I am coming to realize that just like the addiction, recovery is work. Sometimes hard work.

Comparitively though recovery is the easier softer way. Seems like I have a lot more time for friends, hobbies, work, and other stuff in recovery than I did toward the end of my active addiction.

Thanks for sharing Jen! Keep coming back!

jen32 · 08-31-2004, 07:44 AM

Thanks for the input. It's true there is a lot more time in recovery for all the things I like to do. When I use it is all I think about the 'getting, using and finding ways to get more'. I don't think I quoted it right but I know it goes something like that.

Thanks for the support!

Tippy · 08-31-2004, 08:14 AM

Hi there Jen32, I had over a year clean and went back out. I am detoxing right now and realizing, at last, that the getting off is easy...it's the staying off that's going to take more work.
Glad you're cleaned up again. Best of luck and don't kick yourself.

kimmylu · 08-31-2004, 03:57 PM

Hey Jen32, it's really hard to come back after a relapse, but this could be the last time you ever have to go to the first "after a relapse" meeting. Don't just keep coming back - stay. Trust me, I have been there. I relapsed several times when I first tried to get clean. Just like you, I couldn't figure out what happened. It just seemed to happen. I have since learned to listen to my inner self. The signs are there beforehand - even if it is just a few minutes beforehand. Since that point, I have found a lot more relief and a lot less regret. Glad you're back, glad you're sharing.

mackat · 08-31-2004, 09:27 PM

Hi jen- mackat here- doing drugs is pretty much what i was good at doing- didn't have to think much about it- always happened. So i have to stay vigilant in my program. All those silly little sayings: ['stick with winners', my best thinking...'] well they were all true. Means i have to go to meetings, check in with my sponsor, do the steps, do service work. Somewhere in there it meant i could stay clean.
Oh yeah- and then i got a really BIG LIFE...
hugs
mackat

08-30-2004, 04:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
jen32 Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Concordia, Kansas Posts: 14	Relaspe... Hello my name is Jen and I had a year clean on Aug. 3rd and I was waiting to get my 1 year chip and something happened, I didn't even really think about it before it happened. I relasped. A 'friend' gave me a Vicidan and I took it and I liked it, next thing I knew I was smoking a foil and drinking a beer and then I figured I already screwed up my program so I smoked some pot. It sucks!! I went to a meetig on Friday and I started crying so I left. I have been in contact with some recovery buddies over the weekend and it has helped. I am coming to realize that just like the addiction, recovery is work. Sometimes hard work. Thanks for listening.

08-30-2004, 06:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,525	Hi Jen - The important thing is you made it back. Cry it is okay to cry, then you have to pick yourself up and start again. You are still alive, there is a chance for recovery. Keep talking to those recovery buddies....we all need each other. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-31-2004, 07:44 AM	#6 (permalink)
jen32 Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Concordia, Kansas Posts: 14	Thanks Thanks for the input. It's true there is a lot more time in recovery for all the things I like to do. When I use it is all I think about the 'getting, using and finding ways to get more'. I don't think I quoted it right but I know it goes something like that. Thanks for the support!

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08-30-2004, 07:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
jasonl82 Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Acton, Massachusetts Posts: 7	Jen I'm grateful to hear you made it back, so many of us relapse and never do. I myself relapsed last new years after 7 months of clean time. The hardest thing was coming back but it's definetly worth it. Don't let the shame or guilt of relapse affect you, we all have just for today and keeping that in mind can help you stay clean.

08-30-2004, 07:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	Hi Jen So glad you found this site... So you had a slip, learn from it and get on with your recovery. Our addictions sneak up on us... try to look at the things that led up to your addiction... What things and thoughts were going on with you. What happened to you and the thought patterns you shared with us are typical of an addict. So just remember that you are not alone in this endeavor and I hope you stick around here and add this place to your box of recovery tools.

08-31-2004, 08:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
Tippy Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Louisiana Posts: 15	Hi there Jen32, I had over a year clean and went back out. I am detoxing right now and realizing, at last, that the getting off is easy...it's the staying off that's going to take more work. Glad you're cleaned up again. Best of luck and don't kick yourself.

08-31-2004, 03:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
kimmylu Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Kansas City MO Posts: 2	Hey Jen32, it's really hard to come back after a relapse, but this could be the last time you ever have to go to the first "after a relapse" meeting. Don't just keep coming back - stay. Trust me, I have been there. I relapsed several times when I first tried to get clean. Just like you, I couldn't figure out what happened. It just seemed to happen. I have since learned to listen to my inner self. The signs are there beforehand - even if it is just a few minutes beforehand. Since that point, I have found a lot more relief and a lot less regret. Glad you're back, glad you're sharing.

08-31-2004, 09:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
mackat Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado Posts: 846	Hi jen- mackat here- doing drugs is pretty much what i was good at doing- didn't have to think much about it- always happened. So i have to stay vigilant in my program. All those silly little sayings: ['stick with winners', my best thinking...'] well they were all true. Means i have to go to meetings, check in with my sponsor, do the steps, do service work. Somewhere in there it meant i could stay clean. Oh yeah- and then i got a really BIG LIFE... hugs mackat

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