smiling- trying

[ohsotired]

i just wanted to touch base- i haven't posted anything in a few days- i'm still relatively new to this- anyhow- my date is still the same which is very good- i haven't gotten back with my boyfriend which is even better- becuase that would lead to taking the focus off of me- i have joint custody of my daughter- i had to ask her father to keep her for a while because of my finances, and becuase i can't focus on my meetings- and it's no life for a four year old to sit through two hours a night of meetings, getting yelled at by her strung out mother to be quiet- so, this makes me a good mom, right? this hurts. i miss her. hopefully our relationship will be better for it, and she is being better taken care of right now by her father- i will see her once or twice during the week and during the day on the weekend. this hurts. but i'm dealing with the pain- and the pain is so real, my god. i never knew pain like this- i'm finally dealing with it- and it makes the pain feel good in a way- you know? thanks for letting me get that off my chest. i'm hangin in there!!!.
an addict named nicole :wizard:

[Moontime]

Hi Nicole!! Im Moon and I'm an addict. It will get better. Your doing a great job putting your recovery first. Your daughter will have a mother, a loving mother in recovery. That is such a special gift. You may feel pain now, but when you look back at this time, there's a good chance you will say it was worth every minute of it. Hang in there...... More Will Be Revealed!

[KelKel]

Hi Nicole
Thank you for sharing. I know how painful it is to have to make the decision you made. Two years ago my son went to live with his father so I could try to get my life together. I am an alcoholic, grateful today that I woke up sober.
I also deal with bi-polar (manic depression). It has been good for my son to be with his father and good for his father as well. But the guilt I feel is overwhelming at times, I just have to remember that I am doing what is best for my son and myself. We have a good relationship and I love him dearly.
Congratulations on staying clean and sober.
I am glad you are here

[Paulie]

Nicole -

Keep taking care of you first....the rest will take care of itself.


You are doing great.

[Cangel]

You did the right thing. You need to have a better relationship and a healthy one with yourself before you could with your daughter. You are definitely helping her.

[ohsotired]

thanks all, it doesn't take the pain away, but it reassures me that i am doing the right things to hear from others in my boat- who have gone through it and have lost and gained. that's what this is all about anyway... experience strength and hope and i have all of those things in my life now and it feels good. thank you all. i really love being a part of this group.