Withdrawing from LORTABS....HELP..

[HydroAddict79]

Hey chics dudes guys & otherwise--

My name is ben i am a 24 year old addict from florida. I have a never ending story it sems but i won't go into it at this time. I was just sitting outside talk to my brother and all of a sudden my hands got REALLY SWEATY and he said my pupils looked really huge & that i looked pale & crazy :speechles I have been doing the whole "tampering" process & i have actually been doing pretty good...YesterdaY i only had a lortab TEN mgs & today i have had NOTHING. I could have one but i choose NOT TO. I truely feel like a MENTAL case...I actually have a big appetite. I have not thrown up & have only had this sort of "crawling outta my skin feeling" and hot flashes. This is the most horrible feeling in the world. I figure since the past few days I have only taken a 10 mg & the next day nothing. this has been going on for 4 days now...Lastnite even with the 10 mgs i could not sleep..My mind was racing...I feel more of a mental thing then a physical thing. (KNOCK ON WOOD) ......Should i be fine?? I am going to TRY and take nothing again tomorrow as well. As bad as i am craving a single pill now I AM NOT GONNA ASK FOR ONE. The mental cravings are CRAZY. I actually feel as if i should be in a padded cell or something. I HATE alchohol but i actually brought myself to have a single beer. My problem is PILLS not alchohol & i am not gonna become an alcho...I DO "KNOW" THAT. I NEVER NEVER DRINK but i am always LIT UP WICKED ON HYDROCODONE. IT IS MY GOD,MY LOVER, & MY LIFE....So it seems. As for those of you who take 100+ a day....I don't feel that my withdrawls are gonna be THAT BAD. I was only taking 4 sometimes 6 but at the MOST 10 pills a day. this has been going on for about 3 years & i am ready for a REAL life. I have other problems as well. I have a VERY VERY addicting personality. I don't even know how to drive a car :speechles 24 YEARS OLD very good lookin guy (so they say) and i happen to be very artistic. I live in a VERY small town that IS FULLLLL OF PILL ADDICTS. I have absolutely...NO MONEY & NO JOB BECAUSE OF THESE PILLS...When i say NO MONEY i mean no MONEY...No insurance..NO DOCTOR. I am basicly living on a wing & a prayer but atleast i ADMITT to my flaws. I truely feel like a LOSER/PILL ADDICT WHO WILL NEVER GET ANYWHERE IN LIFE & BE STUCK IN THIS TOWN. Where can i possibly go? I have a boyfriend who i am VERY much in love with and he HAS GONE THROUGH HELL with me & these PILLS.....He should have left me ALONG TIME AGO BUT NO!! HE REMAINS BY MY SIDE. I have taken 4 hundred dollars out of his bank account & went on pill binges...I have lied & stolen. TYPICAL ADDICT!! Underneith it all i am a GREAT GUY. I am very confident but it seems like i can not do anything in life without these pills and the sad thing is....THE PILLS DON'T GIVE ME THAT "FULL" SPEEDY SUPERMAN HIGH...I "HAVE TO HAVE" THE BEER & WEED with it to get the "FULL" high that i am addicted to. When i just do the pills i get VERY MOODY & MEAN. Plus i smoke ciggarettes! If i keep eating pills everyday smoking weed & drinking beer & smoking cigs i will be DEAD by 40...Maybe sooner. I TRUELY wanna do this though. It's like when i'm on these pills i just feel as i did a few years ago when i did not do pills....MYSELF. So i know once i kick this habit i will BE BACK TO NORMAL. I have NO REAL friends...They are all addicts. I have not talked to them in a month. This board REEEELLLY helps me ALOT! If i did not have the internet i think i would be in a mental institution somewhere.....I mean really! This is my only OUT......I want to thank all of you who are reading this THANK YOU! I really need some support. I know i know...Go to meetings.....But i really have no way of getting to DAYTONA BEACH for a meeting...Like i said...that is aways from where i am @....I am in the middle of phucking NO WHERE....STUCK...WITH NOTHING BUT FAITH & HOPE & MOST OF ALL JESUS CHRIST! I think PRAYER & jesus is the only thing that is gonna save me. I WILL KICK THIS ADDICTIONS AZZ!!!! I have been to rehab and three days later i was eating pills all over again....I HAVE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN....I doubt i'm gonna get REALLY REALLY SICK because i have been having 5 mgs every other day.....I am a SERIOUS ADDICT and am very proud of my intakes these past few days. I think i will be ok...I HOPE! I just hope that if i go again tomorrow without anything that i will be SERIOUSLY sick. I have lost quite a few friends over pills...They are dead & i'm not gonna go down that road....I am also VERY LUCKY that i have not gone to jail....SO here is MY CHANCE. I beg of you people to HELP me & support me as i go thru this battle with addiction. This is the HARDEST thing i have ever faced & gone thru in my LIFE. It has TAKEN EVRYTHING FROM ME. I am stronger then these phuckin pills.......


Sincerely,

Ben the addict

[KelKel]

Hi Ben
Nice to see you again and welcome.
Glad you are here.

[HydroAddict79]

KEL!

Thanks you soooo much! you are a sweetheart

[ali42]

You are stronger than those pills and if you REALLY want to get clean...you CAN do this. Those pills lead to nowhere. You have so much of your life ahead of you...you need to take control of your life now. Those pills have been controlling your life for too long. Yes, you have been taking enough of them to feel bad for a few days or more. It will not feel good...but, once you get through the withdrawel...you can begin your recovery. You have to do this to save yourself from a life of addiction...which is pure hell. You have lost so much from this...don't keep abusing until you lose your life. We ar here to support you any way we can...keep posting...hang in there. Get all the support you can.

YOU CAN DO THIS...HANG IN THERE...OK?

Ali

[sherbear5104]

Jails, Institutions, and Death. That's what awaits us in active addiction. The freedom from active addiction, just for today, is what NA gives us. We are able to chose to not pick up. It is a choice that we are given, just for today. Today is all we have. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is not promised. Glad to hear that you chose not to use today. If you read my thread in here, you will see that I struggled with that choice for a minute today. I reached out and asked for help. Just like you are doing. The people here, and in the rooms of NA, are wonderful. Hang in there
Sherry

[HydroAddict79]

Hey guyz-

I actually got through yesterday with absoloutely NOTHING! This feels sooooo AWESOME!! I actually even slept for 6 hours & 45 minutes and i am up bright & early here in florida @ 7 in the morining. I just took some folic acid & vitamin B-12. I actually feel GOOD this morning. I am amazed....We shall see how today goes. I truely BELIEVE that i can get through this day with NO 5 (Mg) lortab. Looks like the "tampering thing" may have worked for me(?) But i do not want to speak sooo soon....If i truely was gonna get SICK SICK i think it would of kicked in already & i slept fine......What do you guys think? Something tells me i am gonna be alright if i can just get through the mental cravings that go through my mind. I can do this :hamburger

I am fixing to go have a bowl of cereal and get my day started....well..I dunno...Being stuck in the house with NO WHERE to go is not my idea of GETTING MY DAY STARTED....I wish i had a friend that did not take pills to go spend sometime with......I will be here all day ...PLEASE keep the support & the prayers coming as i will do the same for all of you.

Thanks guys!

Sincerely,

Ben :shysmile:

[ali42]

You are doing great....hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers. The mental cravings are tough, so stay positive, keep busy and do whatever you have to in order to keep from using. Your life is so worth it.

Ali

[HydroAddict79]

Thanks ali :shysmile:

[HydroAddict79]

So this means that if you have any of these problems that you WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO OVER COME THIS ADDICTION???


VERY SCAREY!!!!


Please give your thoughts on this:

Appropriate treatment of such "co-morbid" or "dual diagnosis" psychiatric conditions as depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder(ADD, ADHD), and clinically significant anxiety(panic disorder, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder) greatly improves the likelihood of lasting recovery from substance dependence.

[HydroAddict79]

or could this possibly mean that the reason why addicts seek these pills is because they are actually infected with ADHD and the others listed above & the narcotics "take care of it" anxiety etc...When they should actually be on some sort of anti-depressant or something....DAMN!


I FEEL STUPID!

[Cangel]

My dh is a recovering addict (10 months now) and I heard him say over and over again that he is not worse then I think and that he will get help. When that one day he stayed in the detox for 8 days (he has done that in the past and went back), then his plan was to go to a 24 day program which he stayed there for 2 days and came home. I was upset and scared because he was at a program for 6 months stayed cleaned for 1 year and then went back, but this time it just seems so different. I am still nervous but he goes to meetings everyday and twice on Saturdays. I think that what he like most are the new friends he has found, the fact that he speaks at where he was (detox center and jail). He loves knowing that he could actually help someone and knows that he is not the only one.

Hang in there and I wish you lots of luck, I see it's not the easiest thing to deal with.

[KI2onic]

You keep saying keep you in our prayers??? I do know what you are going through i have been there, but of all the people i have seen in these chat rooms, your prob is like so small compared to most. I do wish you the best, but try mainlining your lortab, and snorting on top of alchole and nighttime. Im glad you found this chat but im thinking you should maybe support some of the people in here instead of wining...

Sorry if i offended you in anyway, this chat is hear to express opinions and thats what im doing. Im proud of you getting over your little withdrawl simptoms, and good luck 2 you.

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by HydroAddict79

or could this possibly mean that the reason why addicts seek these pills is because they are actually infected with ADHD and the others listed above & the narcotics "take care of it" anxiety etc...When they should actually be on some sort of anti-depressant or something....DAMN!


I FEEL STUPID!

Don't feel stupid. I was diagnosed ADHD when I was 7 years old. My dad was against me taking any drugs for it. Later, around 14. I wound up experimenting and later using addictively for many years.

Eventually after too many runins with the law I got to an NA meeting. After being clean about 6 years I researched ADD and found out that it can continue even as an adult. (Hyperactivity may be dormant but many other symptoms can still be present. ) I sought a diagnosis and was treated. I was telling the psychologist about my recovery. She told me "You were probably self medicating the ADD all those years" maybe that was part of why I used, but for me there was another part that enjoyed being loaded.

I didn't like the way the treatment meds made me feel so after about 6 months of journaling and asking my friends questions about the difference i nmy behaviour treated and untreated, I stopped taking the meds. A few years back my doc thought I was depressed and put me on anti depressants. After 3 months, I didn't care for the emotionally detached feeling I had. I spoke to my doctor and stopped taking the antidepressants again. It's been determined I have some aseasonal depression. ( Winter blahs) I can usually get beyond this without meds but this year, although I didn't feel depressed, I had symptoms of anxiety, lethargy, and confusion. I went back to the doctors and he put me back on antidepressants and after a month, there was no significant change. Called the doctor, went back in and after listening to my symptoms again, he diagnosed ADD. ( I was under the assumption that he had that info in my files, but apparently not). He put me on a fairly new medication for ADD and the differerance has been night and day.

I was told when I got clean that although I might have other issues, if I could stay clean, and didn't have too many other problems coping, I should wait a little while before getting diagnosed for other problems as I had been using so long my brain chemicals were bound to be imbalanced. Each of us has to decide for ourselves, when and whether we need extra help or not.

It's real easy for this disease to go looking for answers and get us to substitute more drugs.

I try and run anything that seems like it might be a dope fiend move by my sponsor or some other addicts in recovery whose judgement I trust.

I would rather live my life completely drug free, but I didn't get clean to be confused, lethargic, depresssed, or irrationally anxious, so when it seems necessary, I look for some outside help.

Keep coming back.

[splendra]

Hydro-

I am glad to see that you are still here and that you keep reaching out for answers. A bad day clean is better than any day using. Stay strong!!!

[Prepjackie]

Ben,

When you've truely been beaten down by the disease of your addiction you will realize that you are powerless over your disease, people, place and things, as well to. Until then keep coming back. This is a program of we, not I, you cannot do it alone. Get a sponsor, go to meetings, read the lititure, work the steps, find a hp and take it one day at a time. Remember the serenity prayer. Getting back to basics for all of us addicts is always the best method, because we can really mess things up in our own minds. It is always best to get someone elses perspective instead of our own, cause we are sick, sick people. We are the ones that got us were we are.
Keep it simple and you will do well.

Take care and God bless
Prepjackie

[blue_eyes18]

Hi, I am so sad you are going through this. You sound a lot like my boyfriend. He is going through withdrawals and all that from Klonopins. He used to shoot up heroin. Anyways, all of the same kinds of things that you are going through is what is ruining my relationship with him, and I really care about him. He us just so confusing, and i t is hard to deal with. Anyways, I love your attitude and just keep it up! You can do it!! Good luck- MBundefinedundefinedundefined