Crack

[fer__fer]

Hello,
Hello all,
I am new to this site, and grateful you are here! I have been sober for going on 13 years and then a few months ago started to dabble with crack :scared1: I got addicted very quickly and went to detox last week and cleaned up. I managed not to drink somehow, thank God.

I have ruined my integrity, honesty and reliability with family, with friends... with my bank, I am so sorry about the havoc I have created in my life and the lives of everyone close to me. My life is full of disconnection notices, phone calls from creditors and the like. The stress really gets me at times. I am just being honest and doing what I can.

I don't know much about crack and hope to never, ever have any contact with it again. I can't believe I am in this position at this point of my life. Thank God I can make things better by learning more about this addiction, and realizing the way I feel is temporary...If anyone can help me to better understand this drug I would be very grateful.

Thank you and God Bless
Jennifer

[namommy]

I was addicted to crack and heroine. Even with the physical symptoms that go along with heroine, I think the crack was worse. In a way, I thank God for crack, it brought me to my knees quicker than anything else.

I don't understand it though. I don't think anyone does. You only get a buzz for a few minutes, then it's nothing but paranoia. Yet, addicts keep running to it. Killing themselves and others over it. It is not worth it.

Hang in there, go to meetings and do what you need to do.

[splendra]

Jennife-

God Bless you and welcome to sober recovery!!! I believe you have the best possible attitude for staying clean.
I am Lisa,alcoholic/addict/codie....
I have never used crack but I have four family members who do. So I can only describe it from the outside looking in. But, looking in on my loved ones I see nothing but, dispare,hopelessness,and self loathing because some demon from he!! seems to be sitting on their shoulder telling them how nobody understands their need for crack and that it is the best thing to go ahead and use and use until they are just completely used up. After all of their own personal finacial resources were used up the command became go use others steal your moms silver,credit cards, and then go break into your sisters house and steal her stereo and TV and it just seems to go on like that.

I am so proud of you for taking your life back. I am putting you on my prayer list and I will say a prayer that you keep strong and love yourself so much that you won't ever have to face that demon again. I hope you are going to NA or AA meetings and get yourself a sponcer too if you don't already have one and keep posting here cause we do care.

[In memory of miracle]

Welcome to SR , I was addicted big time to the drug you posted about , I also had recovery time and went back out . The only things I do understand is that today I view it as the devils very own drug . I gave it everything I had my children , my heart , my soul and every shred of dignity I had left . Even with all that I kept going back to it , to the point of suicidal despair . I gotta tell you I even hesitated to answer your post for not wanting to see the name of the drug in my mailbox , for me that drug had a pull that was like no other . I am here to tell you that I havent used it in 9 months which is a miracle since I couldnt go 5 minutes . I found a program ( NA or AA ) and really wanted recovery more than anything . I know how you feel and so do millions of others who have found recovery thru the program . Good luck to you , Prayers ^ Trish

[Shakur T.]

Originally Posted by fer__fer

I have been sober for going on 13 years and then a few months ago started to dabble with crack :scared1:

I managed not to drink somehow, thank God.

I don't know much about crack and hope to never, ever have any contact with it again.

If anyone can help me to better understand this drug I would be very grateful.

Peace,
Welcome Jennifer, glad you made it home. A lot don't...
Like alcohol, crack will ruin you. Unlike alcohol, crack is swift and deadly.

By your post, I think you know more about crack than a lot of other people. You have learned, first hand, what devestation this drug can bring, and how quick it can happen. Believe me, that's ALL SOMEONE NEEDS TO KNOW!! What else is there to understand??

Just curious about something...Was their anything lacking in your everyday soberity (13 years) that made you think that crack would be different than alcohol? Does the fact that you didn't drink make a difference in your soberity today? I've learned that, "wet or dry, it all get's you high." I don't seperate one drug from another. What I do is stay away from all mood/mind altering substances. So far, it works...
Peace to you, Shakur

[2Sunshine]

Hey fer fer,

I can I suggest maybe asking one of the experts here or typing in "crack" on your search engine and on several different search engines. All I know is that it is a very powerful drug and causes a high that drives and pulls its victims to utter ruin if they, unlike Miraclen and yourself, do not desire rehabilitation more than anything.

The driving force and the pull that goes on internally is (as you know) unlike anything. But we just have to stop turning to others thing that don't satisfy the soul. There is a longing in the soul and a void that needs to be healed, resolved, filled with something higher and beyond self, and/or a loving of self that would keep ones from straying into the substances that have nothing but some level of trauma to lives for these instances to be avoided or to be delivered from them. We just need to have a beneficial meaning of life to live. Why do we need to be stimulated in ways that are harmful? Is it part and parcel to curiosity or boredom? This may be a question to be answered.

All I know is that it is a great mystery to me. One that I wish would have never showed up on the face of this world. It has robbed me of so much, but I chalk it all up to experience and now I can share with others my story of the effects of "crack" in your life...it does have a trail of history and stories that will automatically come with it.

Welcome to SR, you've found a great community of people to be in communication with. Wishing well in your continued freedom from the debilitations of debilitating, mind altering substances. I am sorry that you have experienced such loss in your life. Today is the beginning of the rest of your life, you now have a new opportunity to repair and make your life better, from this point forward.

There is a scripture in the bible that I would like to share with you, I will paraphrase it, "forgeting those things which are behind, I press for the mark of the high calling which is in Christ Jesus". I said all that to say that you can make it, sure you have made some very bad decisions that have left some damage marks on your lifes history, so have a lot of us and the possibility is that we will do so again, but as long as you have breath in your body, you have a chance to make things better for yourself and the ones that you have hurt along the way. Some will forgive, some will not be so forgiving, but there is always opportunity. Go for it. You can do it.

[Ann25]

Welcome FerFer
My name is Ann and like namommy crack brought me to my knees soooo fast and hard! Opiates were my doc for about 3 years--and when I got off of those I picked up the pipe! I was hooked from the first hit! I smoked for 9-10 months daily. That took my dignity, pride, selfworth and almost my life! The cravings are so strong that sometimes I feel like I cant take it! A week ago today I got sixty days! Two days later I went out. Thank God just for the night--I was lucky! I know what I know now and I was a volunteer. I thank God daily that I have another chance at this. So hang on--do what you have to do to stay clean!

[In memory of miracle]

2 sunshine ? " If they like miracle and yourself do not desire recovery above everything else ? I think you have misunderstood my post or I misunderstood yours ! My recovery comes first today ...

[fer__fer]

Thank you all for your posts. I do believe one place I went wrong was I stopped going to meetings and spent time with unhealthy people. You are right, any drug is a drug all the same.. I will be careful and keep seeking the spiritual answer...which I believe is LOVE.

[Shakur T.]

Originally Posted by fer__fer

Thank you all for your posts. I do believe one place I went wrong was I stopped going to meetings and spent time with unhealthy people. You are right, any drug is a drug all the same.. I will be careful and keep seeking the spiritual answer...which I believe is LOVE.

Peace,
Good for you!!! Just for today...you never have to use again.
Peace & blessings

[2Sunshine]

Hi Miraclen, I think you misunderstood my post, I was stating that wanting recovering is what has brought you all to a point of "not" being subjecting to the debilitation of the drug....yes, I understood that recovery was your 1st obligation...I must have worded it incorrectly, I reread it and seen where I gave that impression, sorry. I changed the word like to unlike....lol......
Isn't it amazing how one wrong word can change the meaning of what is said?
I am always open to be corrected or challenged on what I have said. Sometimes the fingers can't keep up with the mind or things just don't come out right.

Thx so much, take care.

[In memory of miracle]