Coming out of the shadows

[Jilly]

Hey guys-
I have been reading the post here and on several other boards for quite some time now. It sure does help to know I am not alone. Sometimes I think I am just going to lose my mind. Dealing with an addict and their mind is just the most frustrating thing on the face of this earth to deal with.
I am living with someone that is a daily user and is telling me that he is going to quit. And when he doesn't quit, he tells me that he is doing better. The promises, the lies, the missing money. Oh my the list never ends. He is constantly telling me what is wrong with me. My clothes, my hair, I don't giv him any sympathy for his aches and pains, I am unloving and mean and so are other members of the family. I just want to smack him when he starts this crap. It is all about him. And he is mad at everyone. And want to tell me all about his problems with everyone. I told him very calmly today that I am sick and tired of hearing all about my short comings and the fact that he is having a hard time getting along with others and that I did not want tohear anymore of it...period. Well then he went of into I just don't care or love him. I told him to get professional help for his problem and to quit expecting me to take care of it.
I do love this person, or at least I love the person he was. He just isn't himself. Drugs have taken his soul and mind and all he cares about or thinks about is himself. I keep my mouth shut as long as I can but I am only human and have to have a release valve sometimes.
I don't have family or friends to discuss this with. His family does know but they seldom ask about it. I am not sure why. I think they have kind of taken the 'what am I suppose to do?' attitude about it all. Which is what I have but when it is in your face on a daily basis. It is hard. I read alot on the internet to helo me and I have read many books on codependence which is a huge help. I discovered alot about myself. Queen of all co dependents, That was me....but I have learned that it is not what I want anymore.
Anyway, I just decided I needed to come out of the shadows. I am so glad this site is here to do so.
Venting done- I feel better-
Jilly

[margo]

Hello Jilly, and welcome to SoberRecovery! I know living with an addict is not an easy thing. We have a Nar-Anon forum here, which is for the family and friends of addicts, so please come on over and introduce yourself. There are a lot of good folks in similar situations who post regularly on that forum and would be happy to share their experience, strength, and hope with you.

Welcome again!