"Using is not an option."
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 321
I agree with Noelle. Using is definitely an option, which is why I still do my best to live the program and go to meetings. I understand their take, trying to convince themselves that drugs are a no no and that they cannot touch them, but I learned differently through my sponsor. Better to be aware that I can go pick up at anytime and invest in insurance against doing so then to pretend that drugs don't influence me anymore.
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Isn’t "Using is not an option" equivalent to “No matter what” we don‘t pick up. I have no problem with ether. As long as the addict is in recovery, working the program. All slogans made up or not are part of our newly found language. One of my favorites, keep it simple stupid. 
TB
TB
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I think it is something I can make true for myself. Using is an option, until I decide it's not an option for me.
I take it off the table, toss it out of my bag of tricks, and ferret out the reservations in my program and boot them out the door. That part is up to me. No one else can make using not an option for me, but I can.
I think each of us, according to our personalities and experiences have a different language we use in our heads. From the outside it might look like semantics, but inside ourselves our self talk truly does make a difference.
Some people do best with one day at a time, others with never again. Some benefit from counting days, others find it a chain to a past they've left behind (me). I found real recovery when I told myself "using is not an option".
As long as I personally held onto the idea that somewhere, somehow, sometime under some circumstance using was an option, darn if I didn't keep a stash around just in case and happen to stumble on a reason to use.
I take it off the table, toss it out of my bag of tricks, and ferret out the reservations in my program and boot them out the door. That part is up to me. No one else can make using not an option for me, but I can.
I think each of us, according to our personalities and experiences have a different language we use in our heads. From the outside it might look like semantics, but inside ourselves our self talk truly does make a difference.
Some people do best with one day at a time, others with never again. Some benefit from counting days, others find it a chain to a past they've left behind (me). I found real recovery when I told myself "using is not an option".
As long as I personally held onto the idea that somewhere, somehow, sometime under some circumstance using was an option, darn if I didn't keep a stash around just in case and happen to stumble on a reason to use.
Evolving Addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Well...I believe that, if I admit that I'm an addict...someone who has a disease called addiction and that disease is incurable, progressive and fatal (even during abstinence)..., using (drugs) will forever remain an option - although an irrational, deadly and illogical one. IMO, the instant I tell myself that it isn't an option, I'll open the door to complacency.
I understand that some of us tend to lean toward using figures of speech that may or may not be an accurate description of what we really mean, but I prefer to avoid "parroting" slogans or catch phrases that aren't reality based. In fact, the entire phrase is a contradiction because the word option implies having the ability to choose.
Unfortunately, it has been my experience to hear numerous addicts claim that using wasn't an option for them and many of them have new clean dates. For me it's crucial that I always keep in mind that if I stop doing what is necessary for me to stay clean and recover, I too can end up with a new clean date (if I survive).
I understand that some of us tend to lean toward using figures of speech that may or may not be an accurate description of what we really mean, but I prefer to avoid "parroting" slogans or catch phrases that aren't reality based. In fact, the entire phrase is a contradiction because the word option implies having the ability to choose.
Unfortunately, it has been my experience to hear numerous addicts claim that using wasn't an option for them and many of them have new clean dates. For me it's crucial that I always keep in mind that if I stop doing what is necessary for me to stay clean and recover, I too can end up with a new clean date (if I survive).
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
For me it's just the opposite. If I consider using an option, then I tend to get complacent...because I don't have to look for other options absolutely...if I really feel bad...well, I can use...after all, it's still an option.
When I was new to recovery and NA, I used to parrot slogans too because I wanted to sound like I knew what I was doing, that I was on board...and heck, I wanted to convince myself I knew what I was doing.
But often I didn't understand what the slogan meant, and slogans can't keep me clean. I also learned a lot about honesty. I thought I was honest, and learned that my ability to be honest was limited by all sorts of things...and over time it grows.
Two slogans that definitely did help me from day one were "You never have to use again" and "More will be revealed"
I do think there are MANY factors that are at work behind these things though. I am in a situation where using would take a LOT of time and effort to acquire the drugs etc. Other people are still living in the midst of it, with partners that are using etc. I don't face that daily temptation and atmosphere. That is a blessing I have that many others do not have.
I think it is important for each of us to work with our HP to discern what our personal challenges are and to use the program to develop a relationship to our HP. It's easy to fall into the habit of using slogans AS an HP, or the fellowship, or a sponsor... and find out they have feet of clay.
When I was new to recovery and NA, I used to parrot slogans too because I wanted to sound like I knew what I was doing, that I was on board...and heck, I wanted to convince myself I knew what I was doing.
But often I didn't understand what the slogan meant, and slogans can't keep me clean. I also learned a lot about honesty. I thought I was honest, and learned that my ability to be honest was limited by all sorts of things...and over time it grows.
Two slogans that definitely did help me from day one were "You never have to use again" and "More will be revealed"
I do think there are MANY factors that are at work behind these things though. I am in a situation where using would take a LOT of time and effort to acquire the drugs etc. Other people are still living in the midst of it, with partners that are using etc. I don't face that daily temptation and atmosphere. That is a blessing I have that many others do not have.
I think it is important for each of us to work with our HP to discern what our personal challenges are and to use the program to develop a relationship to our HP. It's easy to fall into the habit of using slogans AS an HP, or the fellowship, or a sponsor... and find out they have feet of clay.
Evolving Addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
It's funny you should mention "you never have to use again." That's one slogan that tells me that I do have a choice. It tells me that recovery is possible but it's something I have to choose because I can use if I want to. It was that saying that told me that I had the freedom to choose between the options of using or not using. It tells me that nobody can exercise my choice (option) to stay clean but me...that choice can't be made for me.
From the time I came into recovery...to this day...I am given the opportunity to pick between two options:
[1] Do not use...regardless of how I feel or what happens (no matter what). Stay clean and allow myself to reap the benefits of the program.
or
[2] Use...just because I can and I never forget how. Avoid reality and continue the downward spiral of self-imposed misery. Or as they say in the rooms - jails, institutions and death.
Although option/choice two is always available...I daily take option one.
From the time I came into recovery...to this day...I am given the opportunity to pick between two options:
[1] Do not use...regardless of how I feel or what happens (no matter what). Stay clean and allow myself to reap the benefits of the program.
or
[2] Use...just because I can and I never forget how. Avoid reality and continue the downward spiral of self-imposed misery. Or as they say in the rooms - jails, institutions and death.
Although option/choice two is always available...I daily take option one.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Gmoney 
It's funny you should mention "you never have to use again." That's one slogan that tells me that I do have a choice. It tells me that recovery is possible but it's something I have to choose because I can use if I want to. It was that saying that told me that I had the freedom to choose between the options of using or not using. It tells me that nobody can exercise my choice (option) to stay clean but me...that choice can't be made for me.
From the time I came into recovery...to this day...I am given the opportunity to pick between two options:
[1] Do not use...regardless of how I feel or what happens (no matter what). Stay clean and allow myself to reap the benefits of the program.
or
[2] Use...just because I can and I never forget how. Avoid reality and continue the downward spiral of self-imposed misery. Or as they say in the rooms - jails, institutions and death.
Although option/choice two is always available...I daily take option one.
From the time I came into recovery...to this day...I am given the opportunity to pick between two options:
[1] Do not use...regardless of how I feel or what happens (no matter what). Stay clean and allow myself to reap the benefits of the program.
or
[2] Use...just because I can and I never forget how. Avoid reality and continue the downward spiral of self-imposed misery. Or as they say in the rooms - jails, institutions and death.
Although option/choice two is always available...I daily take option one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
I have probably said that a few times, what I mean by it is this: When I was coming in and out of the rooms every month or so, it was because I chose to use in an attempt to cover up my feelings, only making everything worse. The problem was, the drug still appeared to me, despite all evidence to the contrary, as a solution to my problems.
Today, when I have a problem, whatever it is, using does not appear to me as a solution to my problems. It isn't an option because I don't see it as a potential solution.
Today, when I have a problem, whatever it is, using does not appear to me as a solution to my problems. It isn't an option because I don't see it as a potential solution.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 82
Today, I have choice not to drink. There was a time, even when I came to a point where I no longer wanted to drink, I had no choice but to drink. That mental obsession/compulsion thingy is still interesting, to me.
In early recovery, drinking definitely showed up as an option for a life situation, negative or positive. It was my job to choose, "Other". To make a decision for sobriety, often.
Today, a thought to drink would be so foreign that I would take it very seriously. I'd start digging for what part of my recovery had been neglected or what had been introduced without having been thought through. It would be a warning that at least one foot is off the beam.
But the object, for me, is to notice 'changes' long before a thought to drink might arrive. Like 'resting' on an Ambien commercial (catching myself entertaining memories). Or the urge to go to Martin's for dark chocolate M&Ms at 2am. Nothing wrong with M&Ms...it was the 'pressure' from inside telling me I had to have them now, that was an indicator of an underlying 'dis-ease'. (It was the uncomfortable topic I was researching. Ego seeks to distract if I'm getting 'too close').
Heard on a TV program:
A little boy had fallen out of bed with a thud. The father came into the room and scooped him up asking, "What happened?"
The little boy said, "I fell asleep too close to where I got in."
I immediately thought of early sobriety, where so many 'fall out' because they stay too close to where they came in. I had a lot to learn in a short time to get past the 'white-knuckle' stage asap.
Maintaining awareness gives me a wide margin of 'early warning signs' before I might find the "curious mental blank spot".
One of the tools read in a book a long time ago (think it was Buddhist):
"If you want to gauge the strength of your spiritual condition, count the number of times you are disturbed in a day." (irritated, judging, discontent, anxious...)
I've been aware for a long time that I judge appearances quite often (the result of a lifetime of insecurity about my own appearance). I just couldn't find an effective a 'mind tool' for it. A couple of days ago, I heard, "You have no right to demand anyone's form be different than what it is." It is working amazingly well, even in this short time. I even looked in the mirror and said it to Ego when he pointed out the usual flaws. Shut him right up.
AA...whatta deal, and what possibilities if I keep breathing and keep working.
Best to All,
PJ
In early recovery, drinking definitely showed up as an option for a life situation, negative or positive. It was my job to choose, "Other". To make a decision for sobriety, often.
Today, a thought to drink would be so foreign that I would take it very seriously. I'd start digging for what part of my recovery had been neglected or what had been introduced without having been thought through. It would be a warning that at least one foot is off the beam.
But the object, for me, is to notice 'changes' long before a thought to drink might arrive. Like 'resting' on an Ambien commercial (catching myself entertaining memories). Or the urge to go to Martin's for dark chocolate M&Ms at 2am. Nothing wrong with M&Ms...it was the 'pressure' from inside telling me I had to have them now, that was an indicator of an underlying 'dis-ease'. (It was the uncomfortable topic I was researching. Ego seeks to distract if I'm getting 'too close').
Heard on a TV program:
A little boy had fallen out of bed with a thud. The father came into the room and scooped him up asking, "What happened?"
The little boy said, "I fell asleep too close to where I got in."
I immediately thought of early sobriety, where so many 'fall out' because they stay too close to where they came in. I had a lot to learn in a short time to get past the 'white-knuckle' stage asap.
Maintaining awareness gives me a wide margin of 'early warning signs' before I might find the "curious mental blank spot".
One of the tools read in a book a long time ago (think it was Buddhist):
"If you want to gauge the strength of your spiritual condition, count the number of times you are disturbed in a day." (irritated, judging, discontent, anxious...)
I've been aware for a long time that I judge appearances quite often (the result of a lifetime of insecurity about my own appearance). I just couldn't find an effective a 'mind tool' for it. A couple of days ago, I heard, "You have no right to demand anyone's form be different than what it is." It is working amazingly well, even in this short time. I even looked in the mirror and said it to Ego when he pointed out the usual flaws. Shut him right up.
AA...whatta deal, and what possibilities if I keep breathing and keep working.
Best to All,
PJ
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 168
It's always an option because drugs are always going to be around. However, I choose not to use today.
Personally, I find that when I have a choice, it makes me not want to use. Recently I've wanted to start smoking again (it'll be 6 months without it next Tuesday) and when people tell me, "You don't want to smoke" or "Don't start up again!" it makes me want it more. When a friend of mine told me, "If you did, nobody would blame you. You'd just start over again" - funny enough, it made me want it a whole lot less.
Personally, I find that when I have a choice, it makes me not want to use. Recently I've wanted to start smoking again (it'll be 6 months without it next Tuesday) and when people tell me, "You don't want to smoke" or "Don't start up again!" it makes me want it more. When a friend of mine told me, "If you did, nobody would blame you. You'd just start over again" - funny enough, it made me want it a whole lot less.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 33
Originally Posted by Gmoney
I often hear members sharing this in meetings nowadays. What's your take?
I don't think it's meant that way.
It's meant it is never an option, it will always lead back to addiction, it is a disease, and it should be taken seriously.
I can understand how you can look at this from different perspectives though, so that's understandable.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
