well pretty similar. My drug of choice was pain pills. for years. I couldn't get clean where I was either and didn't leave the country, but drove to the complete opposite coast and got clean on my own too. (unpleasant....)
I've messed up, and got clean, and messed up, and got clean... long road but I keep trying. Try not to beat yourself up too much about the mess-ups...they happen, and you can't change them after the fact. Wanting to get away from them is a huge step. The physical part is the easy part I think, getting through the initial withdrawals. It's when our addict brain starts telling us we need them again. THAT is hard to get through! You can do it - you can get over that 2 week hump - just keep trying. You deserve it.
I remember when I thought I would never even be able to carry on a conversation with someone unless I had a pill first. Guess what? I can
Don't beat yourself up, realize it's a tough road but just the fact that you're trying is a success. (in my book) Don't give up - keep posting here, getting frustrations out and getting advice from people who have been or are where you are can be a huge help.
I'm just on day 4 of being off them again, right now I'm just trying to get through tonight. You do the same. Tomorrow is a new day!!