scary
*Grateful*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
scary
While on vacation i fell and reinjured my hamstring. I am in a lot of pain and just left the doctors office. (walk in) well he prescribed me 3 meds and one of them was vicoden. I have 2 and a half yrs clean and i took it and left. While driving i decided to tear up the vicoden one. I am sitting at target waiting to get the other non narcotic ibruprofem 600 and i am sad. I am sad i tore it up. I am sad he gave it to me. I am sad i didnt speak up. I am sad i cannot be like normal ppl and take pain meds. I am sad that i contemplated taking it and i am sad i am so focused on working my overeaters anonymous program that i had noone to call and reach out to in AA or NA anymore. I know i will be thankful tomorrow or maybe even tonight but right now i am just plain sad.
*Grateful*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Well, I did hit an AA meeting, and then an NA meeting and I even picked up a 2 yr keytag. The joy has returned and I am feeling victorious! It was my HP who kept me clean. I even looked back at the prayer I wrote this morning. God held up his part of the bargain in my life, even when I felt weak, he showed himself STRONG!! thank you God!!
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hugs...and wow, that's awesome AND an inspiration to me (and others I am sure)
Your response to your feelings was contructive and proactive instead of destructive and reactive. A great sign of what you've learned and practiced in recovery.
It's important to keep our recovery resources clean, shined up and ready for action for when life comes at us, the way it came at you. We can pull them out and put them to use. Your story is a good reminder not to let our recovery get rusty.
I really relate to your sense of sadness lately I've been feeling a lot of the same. I've lost a lot of my recovery contacts too and was actually thinking of driving 180 miles round trip to hit up a meeting.
So happy for you.
Your response to your feelings was contructive and proactive instead of destructive and reactive. A great sign of what you've learned and practiced in recovery.
It's important to keep our recovery resources clean, shined up and ready for action for when life comes at us, the way it came at you. We can pull them out and put them to use. Your story is a good reminder not to let our recovery get rusty.
I really relate to your sense of sadness lately I've been feeling a lot of the same. I've lost a lot of my recovery contacts too and was actually thinking of driving 180 miles round trip to hit up a meeting.
So happy for you.
*Grateful*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Thanks for your comment. You know, this morning during my quiet time, I started to think about had I picked up..... Had I picked up, there would have been no quiet time. Had I picked up I would have most likely called in sick to work. I would have been counting my pills I would have felt like crap, gained 5 lbs of water weight... most likely eaten off my food plan cuz after starving all day I would have craved sugar. So I would have lost my 25 days of recovery in overeaters anonymous and blown my clean date in NA. Had I picked up, I would not be leaving in a half hour to take my son to the dentist, cuz this addict could never keep appts. I wouldn't have even got to meet my new boss as he came in the post office today and we found out we were both raised in the same area 2500 miles away from here. I could have even died this time out....... I may have never made it back....man oh man... I have been in such an UP mood today thinking about the choice I made. 
Again, thank you GOD for giving me the power!! I still have the torn up script and it makes me chuckle. No longer and I am I sad..... I am so joyful!!
Again, thank you GOD for giving me the power!! I still have the torn up script and it makes me chuckle. No longer and I am I sad..... I am so joyful!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Lily,
I am so impressed that you were given a legit script and ripped it to shreds before you had the chance to talk yourself into filling it and using it. I can relate to your sadness that day. It's so weird that we almost grieve our doc or maybe our past life of drugging. With the help of your HigherPower you reminded yourself of all the terrible consequences you would have faced if you would have given in to temptation and used that day. Instead of grieving your past druggie life you celebrated your new clean and sober life.
Wonderful post!
Thank you for that post lily. Congratulations on your two years!
I am so impressed that you were given a legit script and ripped it to shreds before you had the chance to talk yourself into filling it and using it. I can relate to your sadness that day. It's so weird that we almost grieve our doc or maybe our past life of drugging. With the help of your HigherPower you reminded yourself of all the terrible consequences you would have faced if you would have given in to temptation and used that day. Instead of grieving your past druggie life you celebrated your new clean and sober life.
Wonderful post!
Thank you for that post lily. Congratulations on your two years!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Congrats on the 2 years clean! (and the 25 days in OA, too).
Thanks for sharing your honest experience of the situation - the sadness and difficulty and then the coming through to the other side. Very inspiring.
Thanks for posting.
Thanks for sharing your honest experience of the situation - the sadness and difficulty and then the coming through to the other side. Very inspiring.
Thanks for posting.
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