Can you work the steps

[Midlifecrisis]

Effectively without going to meetings, having a sponsor, etc?

I did go to meetings for a few years, worked the steps, had a sponsor and sponsees. I probably have my literature around here somewhere.

[Lionhearted1]

you probaly could the big book seems as if it was written with the intention of being the manual by which you could do the steps on your own, but the whole point of the programme is to pass it on to the newcommer and you find newcommers in meetings!

[PaperDolls]

Personally, I couldn't. I couldn't even read one sentence and understand what it said.

Since you previously were going to meetings, had a sponsor and sponsees .... I'm curious why you don't want to go back to that.

[miamifella]

Where I started out, it was expected that you would do the first three steps on your own and then work with a sponsor from 4 on.

I myself never got past step 2. I suspect I might have if I had some help. However, my sponsors were so overloaded with sponsees doing the 4th through 12th steps, that it was clear that many other people were getting through the first steps on their own even if I could not.

[Midlifecrisis]

I do want to go back but we haven't got any meetings where I live.

[PaperDolls]

Ah, that stinks midlife. What about online meetings/sponsorship?

[Midlifecrisis]

Thanks, yeah I'm looking into that. Our jnternet on the computer hasn't been working for weeks but it is fixed now so I should be able to get something started.

[Threshold]

midlifecrisis,

I lived in a place with no meetings and worked the steps with a long distance sponsor.

My first sponsor was online, then telephone. I met her here. That ultimately didn't work out but I think it was more a case of personalities etc.

My current sponsor was also cross country phone contact.

Maybe it's not "ideal" but we do what we have to do.

[lillyknitting]

Ihave heard it said one can do the steps and programme just by reading the big book and 12 x 12 you don't actually need meetings, meetings are for support and to meet up with like minded individuals, but they are not the steps. But it's good to have support and SR.

[AAaaron]

Im sure someone smart once said"You can do anything you put your mind too."

[deeker]

Meetings will give you hope. So important to this alkie


Chapter 7 Big Book

WORKING WITH OTHERS

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.

[deeker]

If I could have put my mind to it I would have 30 yrs ago before the jails, institutions and suicide attempt. Only a power greater than myself can restore this alkie to sanity. He is doing just that, also only a fool sponsors themselves. Our best thinking got us to this point , how are we gonna use that thinking to get us sober? Sponsors keep us honest.

[Midlifecrisis]

Originally Posted by Threshold

midlifecrisis,

I lived in a place with no meetings and worked the steps with a long distance sponsor.

My first sponsor was online, then telephone. I met her here. That ultimately didn't work out but I think it was more a case of personalities etc.

My current sponsor was also cross country phone contact.

Maybe it's not "ideal" but we do what we have to do.

Thanks. I have a couple of people who can keep me accountable, my husband for one and I am keeping honest and in regular contact with my pastor (who is also a recovering addict.). Have thought about online/phone sponsorship

[Midlifecrisis]

Originally Posted by deeker

If I could have put my mind to it I would have 30 yrs ago before the jails, institutions and suicide attempt. Only a power greater than myself can restore this alkie to sanity. He is doing just that, also only a fool sponsors themselves. Our best thinking got us to this point , how are we gonna use that thinking to get us sober? Sponsors keep us honest.

I'm not a fool (well I've done foolish things, haven't we all, that's why we are here) There's no meetings here, it's impossible to get to one. I'm very active in or church, am drawing closer to God and have gotten honest with our pastor and his wife plus several friends. Thinking about online/phone sponsorship as well. I'd like to go to meetings but it isn't an option at this stage

[Threshold]

Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis

Thanks. I have a couple of people who can keep me accountable, my husband for one and I am keeping honest and in regular contact with my pastor (who is also a recovering addict.). Have thought about online/phone sponsorship

Accountability is important, but if you are going to work the steps and apply the program having a contact with that experience is very important. There is an AA forum here and several online that would be good resources to stay connected and in the atmosphere of 12 step recovery. But a sponsor and a personal support network (you can create that online with people you get familiar with) is a worthwhile asset for you to pursue.

There is no good reason to not make use of the recovery resources available to us. Truly, I don't know where I'd be were it not for the net, and this forum which have put free and easy recovery tools into my lap. A blessing beyond measure.

[babygrandx]

I was told "they only wrong way to work the steps, is alone"

[FatallyUncool]

I have a sponsor. He and I are REALLY different, and he's not perfect. And I'm working my program at a snail's pace. But I know he keeps an eye on me, and I can call him in the middle of the night if I need to, although I never have. Every time he sees me, he says "call me" and sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

He gives me writing assignments, but lets me progress at my own pace. And I feel accountable to put pen to paper, which everyone in the program has told me is really important to recovery. I just know that I would never do it at all if I didn't have someone checking on me and bugging me about it.

[Midlifecrisis]

Thanks everyone.

[BoundlessState]

I don't see why you can't do it on your own, especially if you've had previous experience. In fact doing it alone could give you an even greater understanding of yourself and freedom, then having someone else's conditioned perspective. Saying that only a fool sponsors themselves is just conditioned rhetoric.

Accountability is fine, another tool I guess. Finding the reality deep down inside me is done better alone.

[legna]

Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis

Effectively without going to meetings, having a sponsor, etc?

Yes, and have done so for close to twenty years. To be clear, I've over twenty years clean and sober but have done it on my own for almost twenty.

Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis

I did go to meetings for a few years, worked the steps, had a sponsor and sponsees. I probably have my literature around here somewhere.

*nods* Same story here; I'm recently back to meetings because my wife has been ordered to go and I like spending time with her but had that not been the case, I would not have returned.