Putting down the armor - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Threshold · 05-24-2012, 07:53 AM

Another thread on the forums this morning got me thinking...

I've heard many people relate that admitting they were an addict, and then saying it outloud at a meeting were some of the hardest things they've ever had to do.

My experience was so different. I was relieved. All my life I lived the internal crazy of an addict, but it wasn't until later in the game that it manifested as substance abuse. Before that it was process abuse...behavioral. Invisible to 99% of the people around me. When I'd mention i was scared or out of control, they'd shake their heads and tell me I was amazing, it was all in my head.

When I got into substance abuse, it was impossible to hide and ignore. It was visible. People got angry at me. I let them down. I walked into NA and it was a huge relief to say I am an addict...to finally have the permission to acknowledge it and address it.

Now there was a name, a diagnosis, a solution, a peer group, a place where it was OK to address my life honestly.

I felt so less alone

**shockozulu** · 05-26-2012, 06:17 PM

Same here, and I went back and used for almost ten years. When I finally hit my spiritual bottom I knew exactly where to go. I knew who would understand where I was coming from and where I wanted to go.

augustwest · 05-29-2012, 07:17 AM

i still sometimes get goosebumps when i say i'm an addict. it's empowering to have such self knowledge as a base to work from. i was doomed until i conceded this fact.

Gmoney · 08-06-2012, 10:27 AM

I knew I was an addict long before I attended an NA meeting or admitted it to others. I knew very well that using (specific) drugs could lead to drug addiction...I was just ignorant and totally self-centered. I didn't believe it would happen to me. My experience proved otherwise.

**shockozulu** · 08-07-2012, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gmoney

I knew I was an addict long before I attended an NA meeting or admitted it to others. I knew very well that using (specific) drugs could lead to drug addiction...I was just ignorant and totally self-centered. I didn't believe it would happen to me. My experience proved otherwise.

I also suffered from the not me syndrome. Boy, was I in for an awakening at my first meeting.

05-24-2012, 07:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
Threshold Grateful but still smarting Join Date: May 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,216 Blog Entries: 24	Putting down the armor Another thread on the forums this morning got me thinking... I've heard many people relate that admitting they were an addict, and then saying it outloud at a meeting were some of the hardest things they've ever had to do. My experience was so different. I was relieved. All my life I lived the internal crazy of an addict, but it wasn't until later in the game that it manifested as substance abuse. Before that it was process abuse...behavioral. Invisible to 99% of the people around me. When I'd mention i was scared or out of control, they'd shake their heads and tell me I was amazing, it was all in my head. When I got into substance abuse, it was impossible to hide and ignore. It was visible. People got angry at me. I let them down. I walked into NA and it was a huge relief to say I am an addict...to finally have the permission to acknowledge it and address it. Now there was a name, a diagnosis, a solution, a peer group, a place where it was OK to address my life honestly. I felt so less alone

05-26-2012, 06:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
shockozulu Reach Out and Touch Faith Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,363	Same here, and I went back and used for almost ten years. When I finally hit my spiritual bottom I knew exactly where to go. I knew who would understand where I was coming from and where I wanted to go. __________________ "Its Mr Higher Power unless I'm angry, then just like everyone else in my life it simply becomes Mr. Power." Copyright © 2005 - 2013 Shockozulu

05-29-2012, 07:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
augustwest dopeless hope fiend Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Here. Now. Posts: 1,021	i still sometimes get goosebumps when i say i'm an addict. it's empowering to have such self knowledge as a base to work from. i was doomed until i conceded this fact. __________________ Obstacles are stepping stones that guide us to our goals Fences are filters are that purify our souls

08-06-2012, 10:27 AM	#4 (permalink)
Gmoney Evolving Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York State Posts: 2,927	I knew I was an addict long before I attended an NA meeting or admitted it to others. I knew very well that using (specific) drugs could lead to drug addiction...I was just ignorant and totally self-centered. I didn't believe it would happen to me. My experience proved otherwise. __________________ "We are never forced into relapse. We are given a choice. Relapse is never an accident." - Basic Text, 5th Ed.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)