Sponsoring a minor

[whiskerkissed]

I'm sponsoring a 17 yr old kid. Her foster parents are not one of us. They're clueless about the disease of addiction.

I'm starting to change my direction on how much the parents are involved with how her recovery is worked and my part in their daughters role. I have made it clear that what we and this sponsee do is on building trust for her. She needs to confide in someone. What we talk about is between sponsee/sponsor.This young girls counselor is pleased with the way she seems to be progressing - in baby steps. Her foster parents are still frustrated - because of course - she still acts out - AND she's a typical teen.

I was reading the sponsorship book and found an entry in there where a sponsor included the parents in the teens recovery - to a degree. Of course there will be stuff that need not be shared, but her progress is important and they don't see it. All she wants is acknowledgment from them. She is getting better - but in ways we as addicts can see it - not as an earth person.

Can anyone share some experience so I can best help this young addict?

[CarolD]

I've zero expereince with this.....none of my AA sponsees have been UNDER 40.
Probably because I was 53 when I quit?

All my best to the two of you...

[Gmoney]

Same here. I've never sponsored anyone under 30. Best wishes.

[Lily]

I have no experience either, but I admire your willingness and also think what you are doing sounds great! Lily

[whiskerkissed]

I found some awesome suggestions from another site. I have the number of a woman with 30 yrs clean - found the rooms at the age of 16 - and she has a young sponsee now. We had an awesome conversation just now.

Thanks for the support though. It's amazing how young they're coming in today and how many there are. This will be a good learning experience.

[onlythetruth]

When I was in AA, my first sponsee was 16 and I sponsored several others who were in their early 20s. I was in my late 30s and 40s at the time. I found that working with young women was different from working with older people in three senses (i) they needed to be really LISTENED to, and weren't used to adults/older adults taking that time to do that; (ii) they were almost never addicted to only one thing; and (iii) they needed a lot more counseling about how to protect themselves from 13th steppers.

Family stuff was not that different than with adults. Most newly sober people have family stuff, and they did too--it was always a question of handling the situation as it presented itself.

Hope this helps.

[whiskerkissed]

It helps very much only. Thank you. Mom is the tough one to deal with. She offered me a beer one day while I was staining their deck. I do side work right now and they hired me. She was EXTREMELY apologetic after some explaining on my part. She is SO clueless.

The bulk of the suggestions I had were to stick to the Steps and Traditions. An addict is an addict whether it be 17 or 77. Keep it simple and include parents/guardians only in helping point out how she's growing - and allow my sponsee to tell them those areas she's getting better in. It may help her see her own changes a little better.

This is a real learning experience for me. Pretty cool!