Need some words of wisdom.

[soconfusednow]

Hello. Have written on other threads..Im an ACOA, married to an active addict and Im in recovery myself for 6 years.

I have done many drugs, but my choice is opiates, namely pills.

Today, my daughter, who is a teen, had 6 teeth pulled in prep for braces.
Well, they gave her liquid percocet for the pain.

I've had many feelings about this, knowing I could take some and no one would no..except for me. I have guilt and shame up to my eyeballs and definitely dont need to relapse on my daughters legitimate pain medicine.

I am unable to get to a meeting at this moment, but am going to a alanon tomorrow am. Ive been in legitimate pain before and have not taken narcotics in my recovery(wasnt easy), but the terror of a horrible relapse was forefront in my mind as it is now.

I think just telling people my fears and vulnerability will help.

Im dealing with this and a husband abusing ritalin. So, I have alot going on.
My daughter is snoring next to me, helpless, and myself being the daughter of woman who drank herself to death when I was 16, well, it pushes me to do the right thing.

Please say a prayer for this still suffering, although, recovering addict. I strive to do the right thing today. I need to remember this is my daughter's medicine, not mine, that I am ok, and the guilt and shame isnt worth it.

Thanks for letting me share my feelings.
God bless.:praying

[huntsober]

Thanks for your honesty.

My disease does not know the difference from the dope man or the Doctor. It doesnt care if I steal from a thug or my own child. When the thoughts of using anything comes up in my sick mind I must get into action by talking to others. The NA Basic text says that honesty is the cure to my diseased thinking. It also says that another recoverying addict is the best weapon to my disease. This site is cool however nothing will take the place of a face to face recovery mgt.

Prayers sent however concerns are too. God bless.
Joe H

[Gmoney]

Ditto!

[Sugah]

You are in my prayers, sister. I was just talking with someone about the need to speak on these things rather than letting them fester in the dark, as they are so adept at doing. Prayers for your daughter's rapid healing, and prayers that you draw on your HP for strength--and lean on the human helpers he's put all around you.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[soconfusednow]

Thanks huntsober, I just went to a meeting. A small one, where one guy had 3 days sober and another woman had 17 days and was struggling. I was the first one to speak and I really spoke,about how I hadnt been putting MY recovery first and was suffering needlessly for so long.
I got some numbers and will get a sponsor.

Your honesty helped me. I feel better and more empowered. To all who commented, thanks so much and I appreciate everyone's prayers. This disease sucks. It's killing my husband, but I will fight to live a long sober life, one day at a time, and perhaps, it will be one minute at a time, however, I will not be able to do it without the help of God. Ive always known this, but Im a huge fan of my own will power.....

[Missybuns]

Welcome

Your honesty will help people here. Thank you.

Grateful,
Missy

[Latte]

Oh man have I been there.

My husband bought a handgun safe for just this reason. He occasionally needs strong pain meds for his back (he has a specific issue with his back) and they are not an issue when they are in the safe.

[Outvoid]

Prayers sent.

Also thank you for your honesty and courage to post this.

--Outvoid--

[REZ]

Thanks for honestly sharing about this. Honesty is so important to staying clean. My prayers go to you.

[huntsober]

The power just one meeting will give is wonderful. Now is when I must remember that more meetings are needed. Please keep coming back. It will start to make since in time. It helps me to remember that even though I got tons of junk going on too someone at the meeting might just need my help. It is said that helping others saves us too. I have found this to be true. Seems as if I help others I find the strenght to keep pushing on another day...Those days will add up and before you know it you will have made it through the storm. Prayers sent..

[soconfusednow]

Hi all..I do feel better. I'm emotionally tired, but Ive met some great people face
to face, and on these boards. I guess things would be easier, in a sense, If I didnt live with the addict, but I do, and I need all the ammunition I can get.

Thanks again for passing it on.

[kj3880]

If I had to do this at this oint in my recovery, I'd have to go to my Mom and Dads' home for a few days and have them hold and administer the medicine to my child for me. I'm sure they would be willing if I told them what was going on. Sometimes we can't do it alone, and it isn't wrong to ask for help! Is that an option for you?

Love,
KJ

[soconfusednow]

Hi..hugs and love to you also.

Handing the medicine over is not an option, no one close enough..
I am in a better frame of mind than I was on Monday..Ive got a sponsor, have been going to AA and alanon meetings....been on this board...today at work, read How it works, Acceptance was the answer, just kept reading.

You know how it says in the BB, about we recoil from the drink, like it's a hot stove, or something like that...Before I became sober in 2005, I wouldve been like a kid in a candy store...Now, I think things through...I think of the consequences, and they will not be good if I touch a drop of that medicine.
And when the daughter doesnt have a need for it, which will be in a few days, down the drain it will go, and I will have my daughter there to see it, to witness the miracle of recovery. I feel hopeful and know with the love and guidance of those around me, and on these boards, I will be ok. I will be ok.