Changes

[jane_668]

How wise is it to change my job when I have only 63 days clean? I have many bad memories in my current job . I wnat to start all over again. I don't want anyone to use my addiction against me. Today, in the meeting, I discussed this issue and they all said it's not a good idea. They think it will put too much pressure on me. They told me give it one year before thinking about. I know that I'm doing right now so good . I don't wnat to risk it.They told me to pray over it and I don't know how to do that. I would like to hear your feedback please.

[Freedom1990]

Good grief, I changed jobs twice in my first year clean/sober. I think that 'don't make any major changes' suggestion is taken out of context.

If you're not happy with the job, go for it.

[LowBottom]

I agree if you not happy make a change - But....you might want to find a new job before quitting the old job so that you can elimate the stress of being without money. I say eliminate all things that make you unhappy - your worth it!

That being said all advice is "in general" b/c if your mo is to run from everything than maybe staying is where your growth is. This is where having a circle of recovering friends help you b/c they really know you. We only know what you want us to know.

I live by the rule ..."if I don't know what to do I don't do anything" and it seems to work for me. I would agree get in prayer and meditation.

[Missybuns]

Finding another job and giving notice to your current employer is perfectly acceptable! Might want to keep your search to yourself though, sometimes when employers find out they are losing you they go ahead and cut you loose.

Being satisfied with your job is pretty high on the list of taking care of yourself. Taking care of ourselves is what we do in recovery.

peace,
Missy

[kj3880]

What does your sponsor think about it?

KJ

[Gmoney]

I agree with KJ.

Otherwise...I have no advice...only some ideas and opinions. If it were me, I'd have to seriously consider what my real motive is. I'd have to take a hard look at what the "bad memories" are and what makes them "bad." I'd have to ask myself whether I'm running from them or running from me. Like the saying goes: I take me with me no matter where I go. I also agree that change isn't always a bad thing and is sometimes necessary, but there is also the possibility that change (just for the sake of it) can ultimately backfire.

[REZ]

Put your recovery first. If your job is really getting in the way of your recovery, and could lead you to use again, change it. No job is more important than staying clean. However, like Gmoney said, be honest about this. Don't rationalize a change just so you can make a change.

[jane_668]

No matter where you go... there you are! You must learn not react impulsively in early recovery. “A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.” You need to learn to love yourself and accept yourself first. Work the steps without delay or reservations... What you did and what you feel about your past will come to rest... All that you hope to be will begin to be realized! BUT, be patient. This isn't instant coffee!! The best things in life take a little more time to brew

A friend in recovery sent me this email and I'd like to share it because perhaps that's the problem. I'm running away from me. I wnat to have a new start, with new people and new situations and " have it now". I want to fix my life overnight. I'm so anxious to clean myside of the road and move on in my life. These days everyone is avoiding mentioning the word "drugs" in my presence including my friends and family. I'd admit that I'm an addict in meetings and to my recovering friends but other than that I'd get in rage if somebody would even mention any past memory of my life. I tell them I got over that and so should you. I won't allow anyone to even discuss it. It's like I burried the past. Maybe it's because I am still so early in recovery. My emotions are still raw. Discussing my using days triggers me. I just wanna run away from me and yet wherever I go I'll take myself with me. So what should I do with my past and with the fact that I used at work? They have forgiven me so can I forgive myself? I just don't know whether I can stay clean in the same place where I used to work high on drugs. One time I lost a $100 at work and I accused a guy of stealing it. I'm sure he did. He commented "well yeah I scored drugs with it". My boss almost fired him because of that comment. That's why nobody dares to raise this issue because they know they will be fired. My boss helped save my life in so many ways. Perhaps I owe him an amendment.........

"if I don't know what to do I don't do anything"

I guess that's it. I know I'm doing so good these days and working a program. I don't want to risk my recovery in anyway. Other than that, I'm not sure of anything. I have faith that it works if I work it. I'm trying to get rid of my old ideas. I have 64 days and this is the longest clean time I ever had in 6 years (since I got on drugs). Sometimes all this change scares me. I'm living my life in a trial and error way. Everyday I come up with a new idea then replace it with another one and so on. As they say " change is the only constant thing in my life".

[LowBottom]

It looks like that is a great friend to have on your side. They seem to have a foothold on this process keep them close and enjoy your ride to freedom girl!

[2ala2]

I also agree with KJ and G,
No one knows you like your sponsor, face to face, nothing beats that, I believe. Are you running away? Some deep soul searching together with you F2F sponsor will help uncover the truth.
I believe that it's a blessing that you even have a job. It was overwhelming when I first cleaned up. I felt strange at work, even at home with my family. I somehow felt that I didn't 'know' these people. It got better slowly. I just hung in there and kept sharing.
You'll be ok if you don't use no matter what. It takes some time.

[Gmoney]

So what should I do with my past and with the fact that I used at work?

What can you do with it? Can you change it?

[Gmoney]

They have forgiven me so can I forgive myself?

Yes you can!

One of the first things that helped me begin forgiving myself for past deeds was learning that (as an addict) I suffered from a disease and not a moral dilemma. The 2nd thing NA taught me was that I am not responsible for my disease, but totally responsible for my recovery. For me, this meant I no longer had to think that I'm the same person as I was, and the things I did were a direct result of my disease. I began to become free from my past through step work.

As time passed, the things I did yesterday no longer held importance because I had made amends and was living in the now.

[Wolfchild]

Prayer is a phrase that simply means - talking things over with God. It's main purpose is to help us apply the faith we have in God by putting it into action. It provides us with the opportunity to focus on our spiritual well being by connecting with the one who upholds all spiritual principles.

For me, prayer is a source of strength that helps me to keep reality in proper perspective. It also gives me the emotional stability i need to face life on life's terms without relying on my self-will. As my faith developes with prayer, so does my understanding who/what God is to me. Praying takes the focus off me for the amount of time i am in conscious contact with God and helps me to recognize that what i think i want isn't as important as what i really need. Our NA readings tell us that God is the Ultimate Authority. i have taken that a step further and believe that God is my Ultimate Sponsor. He can clarify my earthly sponsor's direction and help me to apply that to my life. God is always available for me to talk with, always listens to what i have to say, and treats me with kindness and respect (even when i don't fully understand what i am going through!). Prayer is a personal committment i have made to my life by speaking with the source of all life.

i hope that you will find out what your Higher Power's will is for your life and that you will develope a sense of being in the care of the love your Higher Power has for you.

[SugarScars]

Hi, Jane,

I would sit down and make pros and cons for each possible decision related to your situation. Then, I would objectively evaluate every one of these possibilities with your sponsor.

I would also find a new job and sign the contract/confirm my newfound employment before informing my current employer that I am resigning. I would give at least two weeks' notice to my current employer.

Good luck.