Calling all sponsors....I need your imput!

[Moontime]

HI Ang- I sponsor men in NA. My sponsees range from 60 days to 22 years clean. I still get anxious when speaking in front of an H&I setting like you did or at a speaker jam. That is normal I just have to remember that I am not in charge and that my HP is. My HP picked me to carry that message that night, just move me out of the way.

I do not get involved with other sponsee/sponsor relationships that is not my place. I can only give you my experience. That is when I am finished with the steps, I start over. This is how my sponsorship family does it. That said after my second time through the steps and traditions I went back to step 6 because i had some work to be done with the character defects but I followed my sponsor's suggestion. I believe in my sponsor and I believe that he has my best interest in mind. I sponsor a two guys each with about 3 years clean and they do not sponsor anyone. Their HP has not saw it fit yet, I trust their process because they are wonderful beautiful men.

Have you talked to your sponsor about how you felt? I know for me effective communication begins with writing. My sponsor taught me effective communictation begins with "How I felt", "What are my concerns" and "what are my hopes". I have even written a letter and read that letter in front of the person that I had strong feelings with. It was beautiful.

[IO Storm]

Hi Angelina.

I am an AA'er..but as my sponsor told me today on a phone chat.."You have a

marvelous story of recovery of a lifelong drug addiction." And I have.

I have "fired" a sponsor before. A long time ago. She told me I would be her

only sponsee that would fail, and that I was not clean and sober because I

was taking Prozac prescribed by my psychiatrist. I did relapse. It wasn't

her fault..but that type of "support" sure didn't help.

My current sponsor is a Godsend. I called her..and she said "Whatever I can do

to be of help to you." That's it. We started meeting weekly..she trusted me

to work my steps on my own and in Step Studies. Then we reviewed my progress.

She never pressures me...I can sense unconditional love from her. It is almost

palpable. It makes me want to try harder..be better for the next time.

I have friends who "work the Steps" over again...my sponsor feels you

do it once. And progress from there...because if you are attending meetings,

Step Studies (at those meetings)..reading your books, sharing, doing something

in the area of service, (right now..I am not)..sponsoring another..then

the Program, you see, is "working you." As it does. It begins to take on

a life of it's own..but it has to be nurtured in love.

It doesn't seem your sponsor was acting in that love, Ang.

Not on this end anyway. As Moontime said..she needs to know how you feel.

And if it can't be fixed..search for something better.

You will be led to the right one.

[Tryin2Recover]

Dr. Bob (co founder of AA) said "carry the message. If you must, use words." Public speaking and or sponsoring arent the only ways to carry the message. Your great grand sponsor needs a humility check.

[IO Storm]

Well said T2R..