90 Days! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

kj3880 · 07-03-2008, 03:12 PM

Hi all,
Today is my 90th day off of percs. Yay!!!
I'm having a good day, and while I won't get to go to an NA meeting tonight, I am celebrating. I ended up running into a guy that I wronged while I was using..he was in recovery, it was years before I consciously thought I had a problem, but we were casually dating, and my problem was not yet a physical addiction.

I was just abusing pain pills whenever I got a scrip, for about a week out of every month. He took me out on a date one night and I was really out of it, had done a lot of percs. He kept asking "What is wrong, why are you so goofy tonight?" Eventually I giggled to him that I was high on percs. He, unlike my other friends at the time, didn't find it too funny, probably because he had lost his family, house, driving license, job, and two years of his life to a cocaine addiction a few years before. He was the only person I knew at the time that was in successful recovery and talked about it to me.

He said "I can't have this cr@p around me. Get out of my house, I never want to see you again. You knew I am an addict, why would you come around me high?"

I didn't understand at the time, but I sure do now. I don't think that he knew I was beginning an addiction, he probably just thought I was doing a recreational high or something, and was disrespectful enough to come around him after just using.

So I was mad and never spoke to him again until I ran into him the other day. I was with my kids, going sightseeing for the day, and looking my best. He could probably see that I was better, we spoke briefly, but I thought "Well, I wish I hadn't messed that up, because he is a nice person and has his stuff together."

Today, I came to work and on my desk was a message from him. I was shocked to see that he'd gone to the trouble of tracking me down. I had all different numbers, so he'd had to make several calls to find me at my new department. I called and he asked about how I was doing. When I told him that I'm doing good and am in recovery, he asked to take me to dinner tonight to celebrate and catch up. What a nice surprise.

I plan to apologize for my behavior when we dated. It will feel good to have made ammends, and renew the friendship. I'm glad to get the chance, I've thought about that situation more than a few times with embarrassment. It's nice to pleasantly surprise someone when you are doing better.
KJ

whiskerkissed · 07-03-2008, 03:35 PM

Excellent kj...what more can I say? Almost sounds like he was dropped back in for a reason.

And a SERIOUS congrats on your 90!!!

Artur · 07-03-2008, 03:42 PM

Awesome! Congrats on the 90 days! That's wonderful! Sounds like you HP is working on a nice plan for you! Now, You know what comes after 90 days right?

91 days!!!!

Sugah · 07-03-2008, 05:49 PM

Congrats on 90 days, kj. For many reasons, it was the most meaningful anniversary for me. Looks like you're not having to look far to find meaning in it for you.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Gmoney · 07-03-2008, 06:28 PM

Way to go, KJ!!!! I'm so proud of you. Keep up the good work.

tommyk · 07-03-2008, 06:28 PM

Congrats on the clean time.

Thundar301 · 07-03-2008, 06:32 PM

Happy 90 days , well done KJ , keep that recovery going.... Dean

**Rowan** · 07-03-2008, 06:34 PM

Congratulations on your clean time - and how wonderful that you have the opportunity to make an amends and to renew a friendship with this man.

***Impurrfect*** · 07-03-2008, 06:44 PM

Fantastic KJ!!!

I'm glad you can celebrate your 90 days AND make an amend, all at one time.

Keep it up, girl...you are doing great!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

sct · 07-03-2008, 10:18 PM

Congratulations on 90 days!

butterfly19 · 07-03-2008, 11:27 PM

Congratulations KJ!!!!!!!

You've become a great friend and an inspiration, KJ, what more can I say?

You're a great person, a wonderful friend, a loving mother, and I wish nothing but the best for you on your 90 day celebration!

I also think it is so great that you ran into this old friend! Hope things work out wonderfully between the two of you. I'm a firm believer that things do NOT happen for just "no reason". You were brought together again at a time and place where you are able to make ammends and begin a friendship anew!
And, by golly, if he doesn't bring you any flowers on your dinner-date, here's some from me!

Best wishes sweetie! May you have many more days of celebration yet to come!

Love,

butterfly19

Timebuster · 07-04-2008, 06:41 AM

Congratulations on your 90 days!

I like the part when you said…It will feel good to have made ammends,

Keep up the good work.

Ivan

Lily · 07-04-2008, 08:45 AM

Congrats KJ!! I have so enjoyed getting to know you on here! Look forward to many more w/ ya!

(((HUGS)))

Sheila

kj3880 · 07-04-2008, 06:09 PM

Well, I went on my dinner with my old friend last night, and we did have a lot of fun catching up. I explained where I was at when we were dating, and I apologized, although he said I was "already forgiven" So that was really nice. I wanted to pay for dinner but he wouldn't hear of it, so I got bought a lovely meal (orange roughy and stuffed mushroom caps with crab meat, yum!). It felt like my Birthday or something!

Anyway, he told me he wants to "see me" but I just said "let's enjoy today and keep it light for now. That's all I'm ready for. He says he understands but he looked a bit disappointed in the face. The more I work on my own habits and defects, the more I realize that our society is so based on instant gratification. I'm trying to get out of that habit. Why's everybody in such a hurry for it all to "happen right now?"

If I don't see him more than once every week or two, I would be ok with that, let's hope that would be good for him too. I don't want to fall for anybody this early in my recovery. I still feel like the walking wounded some days. Gotta keep it on me for a while. Does that sound selfish to you all?
kj

Lily · 07-04-2008, 09:52 PM

Not at all, I think that sounds very mature of you! Spot on KJ!

sticker · 07-04-2008, 10:20 PM

way to go kj...you are truly amazing me with how well you are thinking these things through. Most people with 90 days jump at the first chance to get into a relationship..and end up learning the hard way. This is a time to learn about you, what makes you tick.

Klynn33 · 07-05-2008, 12:19 AM

yea KJ

(if you say that right it rhymes)

that's huge. and good for you in making some ground rules for yourself. (the self control..........

)
awesome job - keep it up.

07-03-2008, 03:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 1,214	90 Days! Hi all, Today is my 90th day off of percs. Yay!!! I'm having a good day, and while I won't get to go to an NA meeting tonight, I am celebrating. I ended up running into a guy that I wronged while I was using..he was in recovery, it was years before I consciously thought I had a problem, but we were casually dating, and my problem was not yet a physical addiction. I was just abusing pain pills whenever I got a scrip, for about a week out of every month. He took me out on a date one night and I was really out of it, had done a lot of percs. He kept asking "What is wrong, why are you so goofy tonight?" Eventually I giggled to him that I was high on percs. He, unlike my other friends at the time, didn't find it too funny, probably because he had lost his family, house, driving license, job, and two years of his life to a cocaine addiction a few years before. He was the only person I knew at the time that was in successful recovery and talked about it to me. He said "I can't have this cr@p around me. Get out of my house, I never want to see you again. You knew I am an addict, why would you come around me high?" I didn't understand at the time, but I sure do now. I don't think that he knew I was beginning an addiction, he probably just thought I was doing a recreational high or something, and was disrespectful enough to come around him after just using. So I was mad and never spoke to him again until I ran into him the other day. I was with my kids, going sightseeing for the day, and looking my best. He could probably see that I was better, we spoke briefly, but I thought "Well, I wish I hadn't messed that up, because he is a nice person and has his stuff together." Today, I came to work and on my desk was a message from him. I was shocked to see that he'd gone to the trouble of tracking me down. I had all different numbers, so he'd had to make several calls to find me at my new department. I called and he asked about how I was doing. When I told him that I'm doing good and am in recovery, he asked to take me to dinner tonight to celebrate and catch up. What a nice surprise. I plan to apologize for my behavior when we dated. It will feel good to have made ammends, and renew the friendship. I'm glad to get the chance, I've thought about that situation more than a few times with embarrassment. It's nice to pleasantly surprise someone when you are doing better. KJ

07-03-2008, 03:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
whiskerkissed Stopping the Train... Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Somewhere Between Nashville and Memphis Posts: 497	Excellent kj...what more can I say? Almost sounds like he was dropped back in for a reason. And a SERIOUS congrats on your 90!!!
	__________________ Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us. - Steven Tyler

07-03-2008, 03:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
Artur Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Brooklyn, New York Posts: 90	Awesome! Congrats on the 90 days! That's wonderful! Sounds like you HP is working on a nice plan for you! Now, You know what comes after 90 days right? 91 days!!!!
	__________________ Peace, Love, and Respect, Artur Clean and Sober as of 10/25/2006

07-03-2008, 05:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sugah Om, Aum, Ohm... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh Posts: 2,069	Congrats on 90 days, kj. For many reasons, it was the most meaningful anniversary for me. Looks like you're not having to look far to find meaning in it for you. Peace & Love, Sugah
	__________________ Oh, this old world keeps spinning round Its a wonder tall trees aint layin down There comes a time.

07-03-2008, 06:28 PM	#5 (permalink)
Gmoney Recovering Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Around the way Posts: 1,463	Way to go, KJ!!!! I'm so proud of you. Keep up the good work.
	__________________ "One Promise, Many Rewards."

07-03-2008, 06:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
tommyk Hopeshot! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 970	Congrats on the clean time.
	__________________ ...got God? Tough love = the truth. Don't shoot the messenger. Carry the message...!

07-03-2008, 06:32 PM	#7 (permalink)
Thundar301 A Dopeless Hope Fiend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: MID-MICHIGAN Posts: 205	Happy 90 days , well done KJ , keep that recovery going.... Dean
	__________________ *The only thing we are given for lack of effort...Is the reward of Failure!!!*

07-03-2008, 06:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
Rowan Moderatin' Newf Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 8,640	Congratulations on your clean time - and how wonderful that you have the opportunity to make an amends and to renew a friendship with this man.
	__________________ "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

07-03-2008, 06:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
*Impurrfect* Community Greeter Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 4,876	Fantastic KJ!!! I'm glad you can celebrate your 90 days AND make an amend, all at one time. Keep it up, girl...you are doing great! Hugs and prayers! Amy
	__________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

07-03-2008, 10:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
sct a simple crazy thing Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 217	Congratulations on 90 days!
sct a simple crazy thing Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 217	__________________ Ask a simple crazy thing... singing in the snow... (EE Cummings)

07-03-2008, 11:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
butterfly19 "Seeking The Light" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: WV Posts: 203	Congratulations KJ!!!!!!! You've become a great friend and an inspiration, KJ, what more can I say? You're a great person, a wonderful friend, a loving mother, and I wish nothing but the best for you on your 90 day celebration! I also think it is so great that you ran into this old friend! Hope things work out wonderfully between the two of you. I'm a firm believer that things do NOT happen for just "no reason". You were brought together again at a time and place where you are able to make ammends and begin a friendship anew! And, by golly, if he doesn't bring you any flowers on your dinner-date, here's some from me! Best wishes sweetie! May you have many more days of celebration yet to come! Love, butterfly19
	__________________ My Disgrace Is My Saving Grace

07-04-2008, 06:41 AM	#12 (permalink)
Timebuster Recovering Addict Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Ocean County NJ Posts: 428	Congratulations on your 90 days! I like the part when you said…It will feel good to have made ammends, Keep up the good work. Ivan
	__________________ One Addict Helping Another…Towards Freedom From Active Addiction...

07-04-2008, 08:45 AM	#13 (permalink)
Lily Ephesians 2:8 and 9 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,019	Congrats KJ!! I have so enjoyed getting to know you on here! Look forward to many more w/ ya! (((HUGS))) Sheila

07-04-2008, 06:09 PM	#14 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 1,214	Well, I went on my dinner with my old friend last night, and we did have a lot of fun catching up. I explained where I was at when we were dating, and I apologized, although he said I was "already forgiven" So that was really nice. I wanted to pay for dinner but he wouldn't hear of it, so I got bought a lovely meal (orange roughy and stuffed mushroom caps with crab meat, yum!). It felt like my Birthday or something! Anyway, he told me he wants to "see me" but I just said "let's enjoy today and keep it light for now. That's all I'm ready for. He says he understands but he looked a bit disappointed in the face. The more I work on my own habits and defects, the more I realize that our society is so based on instant gratification. I'm trying to get out of that habit. Why's everybody in such a hurry for it all to "happen right now?" If I don't see him more than once every week or two, I would be ok with that, let's hope that would be good for him too. I don't want to fall for anybody this early in my recovery. I still feel like the walking wounded some days. Gotta keep it on me for a while. Does that sound selfish to you all? kj

07-04-2008, 09:52 PM	#15 (permalink)
Lily Ephesians 2:8 and 9 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,019	Not at all, I think that sounds very mature of you! Spot on KJ!

07-04-2008, 10:20 PM	#16 (permalink)
sticker Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Saint Peter MN Posts: 128	way to go kj...you are truly amazing me with how well you are thinking these things through. Most people with 90 days jump at the first chance to get into a relationship..and end up learning the hard way. This is a time to learn about you, what makes you tick.
	__________________ Clean means never having to say Im sober

07-05-2008, 12:19 AM	#17 (permalink)
Klynn33 Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Langley, BC Posts: 647	yea KJ (if you say that right it rhymes) that's huge. and good for you in making some ground rules for yourself. (the self control..........) awesome job - keep it up.
	__________________ Krista