My home group is so awesome!

[kj3880]

Hi friends,
I just wanted to share that throughout all the problems I've had, some of them even related to stuff that happened in NA, my home group has been awesome once again.

I was literally in tears at the last NA meeting most of my fellow home group members usually go to, a midnight meeting. I was at the end of my rope when I showed up. I didn't say anything, but I made it through the meeting, controlled the tears, and felt a little better from just being there.

But it wasn't over, some of my "homies" pulled me up and took me to an all-night diner. They pulled out everything that I was stressed about, and we picked it apart. I layed it all on the table, and got some great advice. What blew me away, was that they remembered my past shares, my story, and they were able to relate it to the current problems.

For instance, they remembered that I recently fired a sponsor, and didn't have a new one. And that the b/f I cried about missing hadn't wanted me going to the meetings and had been drinking heavily when I broke up with him a couple weeks ago.

They didn't cut me any slack, I had some hard but real suggestions to work on some things. But the acceptance and the unconditional love was incredibly healing. I made it through another day. I have to remember that all that is there waiting for me the next time I feel like I'm ready to use.

KJ

[Artur]

A good and true friend wouldn't cut you any slack, and that's what it sounds like you have....Friends who are REAL...it's a gift we get in recovery....Isn't It GREAT!!!!
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing!!!!! Just for today.....we never have to use again!

[Impurrfect]

(((KJ)))

I'm so glad you have friends who are helping you keep your recovery in focus.

I've found out that the people who don't cut me slack are the ones I can really depend on when the going gets tough. I may not always LIKE what I hear, but I've learned it is usually because they hit too close to home and I was forced to look at a reality I was trying to avoid.

Great post!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[Lily]

That's awesome KJ! I am so glad for you to have met some neat "homies" like that who love and care about you like that, who sound like compassionate ppl! That is really wonderful!



Blessings, Sheila

[sticker]

sounds like you picked an awsome home group kj...stick with the winners

[2ala2]

We're all in this for each other. "Don't overestimate your nuisance value, in other words, ignore the feeling that you'll be bothering someone when you call them or go up to them. It will help them just as much as it will help you".
It works only if you work it. Glad it's working out for you..

[Thundar301]

2ala2, thanks for the smile this morning , and the good advice... KJ that is an awesome home group you have, stick with the winners! because like Joe Walsh sang in the Confessor "You can only judge the distance, by the company you keep" You should try to keep those people in your life who are daily striving to better themselves and the world they live in. I hope your in a better place today, thanks to the honesty and help of your new friends. May your higher power continue to bless your recovery and your life Dean

[Phinneas]

Wow. Awesome, KJ.

[kj3880]

It is awesome. Thanks for your words, everyone. I went to the home group meeting last night and we went out again after. I swear sometimes the meeting after the meeting is more important than the meeting. Everyone in my home group is helping me to look for a suitable sponsor now. I'm 15-20 years older than most of them, but the ones I hang with work a great program and are winners.

One of the girls, L., is only 20, and we talk a lot. She is mature for her age and really listens and has great advice. She knows about my struggle and has offered to sponsor me for now. She has a few reservations because she was in my daughter's class at school and knows her. She feels a little weird that I'm her Mom's age, but maybe we can work through that. She has over 4 years clean and I have a lot of respect for her. I do feel I can tell her the truth and that she will be discrete, and I have known her for a few months now. Additionally, she lives nearby, is in my home group, and has time to spend on me. She's working on her 12th step and has a couple of other sponsees that are doing well.

What do you guys think? Is a 25 year age difference a spoiler on this thing? Should I give it a try?
kj

[Sugah]

I think it's awesome that you're open to having a younger sponsor. Who cares about age? She has something you want? She can take you through the steps? Awesome! My sponsor is younger than I am by about eight years. I'm honestly glad I didn't know that when I asked her - I was quite the snot when I came in when it came to "age and experience" - but what kind of experience did I have that was doing me any good? She's the one who'd been clean and worked the steps.

I also have a very supportive home group. One of us doesn't show for a meeting, we're on the phone to them making sure everything's okay. Birthdays, holidays - all include each other. It really is good to have a home group that's a "home." My 82 yr old mother even knows most of them. And, yes, I do believe that the "meeting after the meeting" is very important. I'm glad you found yourself in a good place, kj.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[whiskerkissed]

Sounds like you have a GREAT thing going and I sure envy you for that. Who can't be happy with that kind of support!?!

[TTOSBT]

KJ,
I am so happy for you that you have such a strong support group.
My personal opinion? Your 20 yr old friend sounds like a good support person but there is so much that you have experienced and lived through (just living) that she can not relate to or understand yet. I do not think that you and a sponsor have to be twinsies or have the same story, etc but it helps if there are some commonalities. For instance, for me it is important that my sponsor is a Mom because that is a HUGE part of me and a lot comes up in my recovery in relation to being a Mom. So, that is a must for me. But there are many differences between us that are not that important to me. I don't think a sponsor has to live through everything that you have lived through but I think they should be able to relate. So I think it is a personal choice and one I would not make lightly.

When I chose a sponsor, I prayed about it for a couple of days and asked my HP to help me find the right sponsor for both of us. As it turned out, she fell in my lap.

[kj3880]

Thanks for the input on this, guys. Garry, what's your take on the age diff?
kj