Dealing with feelings

[Africa Life]

I have a query regarding feelings.

I have just started feeling feelings again and am wondering how much credability to give them. Some of them feel like an immature part of myself and I am shocked when I recognise something like envy and jealousy come up because I was hoping that I was more evolved than that but my baser feelings are there and they rise and I try not to react to them but emotionaly I have heard that we stop evolving emotionally when we become addicts and I feel like I am a victim to my feelings. That sounds weird but it can be job not reacting to that instantanious rise of emotive substance in my body.

At first all I would feel is the physical subtance rising in my body when something happened then later on I realised that this was emotion.

I feel like I am in the dark on this one and would really like some input on whether I should be just putting aside my feelings until I feel more balanced - will that harm me? To discount what I am 'experiencing' will that minimise me as a person?

Yip I will also speak to a variety of people on this as its important to becoming balanced and will be very interested to see what comes up.

Thank you for letting me share

[Paulie]

Feelings are valid, they are your feelings. What I have learned in recovery is I do not have to act on them. Working the steps helps me learn to deal with those feelings or resentment, jealousy, all that stuff.

Share your feelings with your sponsor and others, that always helps me put things in perspective.

And keep sharing with us

[happyboy]

feeling again for me is one of thew great joys of recovery. Feel them, but do examine them. And you do not have to act on them. With spiritual growth I have found my feelings to become morew reflective of my higher self. But I do treat them cautiously still.

[REZ]

I agree with the previous two posts. When I was using drugs, my feelings were suppressed or dulled out. Now I can feel them again, which is a blessing and potentially a curse. In recovery, we learn how to deal with our feelings in productive and appropriate ways. This means we have to feel them, identify them, decide whether to act on them, and decide whether to try to change them. Honesty, openmindedness, willingness and other spiritual principles we practice in the steps help us with this. Today, I accept my feelings for what they are and I embrace them, but I try to not let them rule my life, or get me totally out of perspective on things. I sometimes need to look at whether I need to work on changing them too. For example, if I am feeling jealous, I need to look at the why I am having that feeling, whether it is giving me trouble, and what to do about it (let go of my jealousy?)

[Gmoney]

I totally agree with everyone. Feel them, examine them, be grateful for them...but don't let them rule you.

[sct]

They say that the worst thing about recovery is... we start feeling again. The best thing about recovery is... we start feeling again.

It's not easy to learn to deal with, especially because we tended to use to numb out feelings, good and bad. For me, I've found that everything that hurts in recovery has been an opportunity for growth, that leaves me better than I was when I started. Even if you find yourself experiencing 'negative' emotions, at least you're feeling something.

[Sugah]

A thorough fourth step helped me to sort my feelings out and help me to mature emotionally. Keep moving forward, don't use, and this too shall pass.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Cathy31]

I feel them, I examine them - not always - sometimes they feel like too much and then I take a bath, or I go to sleep! I've been known in recovery to go to bed at 6.30pm when necessary! I know it passes, I know it's part of being human and it makes me appreciate those wonderful extreme feelings of happiness pieace joy relief gratitude that are the flipside of the more uncomfortable feelings. I'm getting better and better at feeling my feelings...I also have let go 'judgment' (only recently) so when I feel those baser feelings I'm just like well there you go! I try to not hold any expectations of myselfjust ask God to direct my thinking and be of maximum benefit to him and service to others and if I get some happiness and joy in the process (which I do - alot!!!) then super!

Cathy31
x

BTW - great NA and AA meetings in Cape Town where I was born!

[Africa Life]

Thanks, it is great to know is that there are other people going through similar experinces to me and I can use their knowledge of their experiences to grow.

I feel silly asking these questions but it is a concern that I know what to do with feelings that arise. Its interesting for me to observe what I feel when i feel what I feel.

I think that it would be better if I owned my feelings but didnt react to the negative ones so that they dont start to rule my life. Observe and release them.

I will put this into practice and see what happens and how that makes me feel .

ta

[ksplash5]

great input on the question. I'm also finding that I can over react to the feelings that feel good, get off into la la land, then get filled with ego, and then always comes the fall.

Balance is key.

I try to be conscious, or mindful, of my feelings. then when one comes up I pay attention to it and notice it, and then try to simply be with the feeling without judgement. Like If I'm sad and lonely my habit is to try to push those feelings down or to throw them out. now, I pay attention and notice the feeling and then let it live in me without getting as "attached" to the feeling. It's li8ke I try to experience the feeling from my "observer self", the self that watches me as I go about the day, the higher self. this part of me has compassion for myself when I feel bad. and it has compassion for my self when I feel good.

[kj3880]

I'm working on dealing with feelings and I think I'm growing as a person as a result.
One feeling that I was/am full of was resentment. I am now feeling it, not getting high to avoid it, plunging in and figuring out what my part in the resentment/conflict was (often it is turning out to be more my fault than I previously imagined). Seeking forgiveness for my part in the conflict/resentment. Then forgiving others for what I perceive as their fault in the situation at hand. At times I am working through this with the people in my life that are the other half of the conflict, at times it is something I have to work out without them (like when it's my boss, or someone who isn't reasonable enough to talk things through with). As a result of all this, my relationships are more real, and they are closer. I have some friends that used to be enemies. I'm growing up in recovery. Feeling my feelings is just the beginning of the genesis, what I do with them is the next part of it. More is yet to be revealed.
kj