The long wait in the hallway.

[Doug]

I hear it alot; one door doesn't close without another one opening.

I'd like to add, sure, I get it, but the long wait in the hallway can wear a person down....

I've been on unemployment for a while, and I knew I was getting close to the end, so I've been looking for a job, a different job than the one that layed me off, that job was hard on me, mentally, and psychically.

Here in Michigan, jobs are hard to find; correction, they're easy to find, but very, very hard to get. There are a whole lot of people applying so the odds are not good. I think we have the highest unemployment in the country right now...

Anyway, my unemployment runs out, unexpectedly, (I thought I had a couple weeks left but I was wrong), so after I get a grip on my panic, I try to make a plan.

All things considered, I decide to go back to the "lay-off" because I'm sure I can walk back in, and if only for a while, it's a job, which is money, and we need money; bad.

So I go back and get my job back. Yay!

No! Can't actually start for about a month, which means a paycheck is about 6 weeks away. Sh*t!

No money left in reserve. Deep sh*t!

Go out everyday trying to make odd ball cash, and come up empty.

People keep saying turn it over and let it go, something always comes up.

That gets a little harder to do each day that nothing happens.

So here I am, waiting in the hallway, and at times I swear I can feel myself cracking....

Another good one; we don't get more than we can handle. Somebody sure has a lot more faith in me than I do.

Some day I'll look back at this and laugh? Right now I doubt it.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Hi Doug,

Ok. This is what I do..

Anything that you can sell? Call your creditors ASAP and tell them the story, and that you'll be late this month. Are you getting a tax refund? If so, do your taxes right away..

And, I realize that I say this a lot, but it's helped me: have you called your town social services? In my town they have temp assistance:heating, renter's etc. And there is a food shelf. Nobody likes to do it, but I'm afraid that many of us will be using these services.

Keep praying..

Karen

[Paulie]

Somebody sure has a lot more faith in me than I do.

That is very true!!!!!!

Karen has some great ideas, check your local resources, it isnt easy to ask for help, but sometimes it is necessary. It is humbling for sure, but you have earned the right to ask for help.

Keep doing the next right thing my friend. I am praying for peace for your family.

And Doug, I have been in the hallway before, it is a lonely place, I understand that...but you truly are not alone. This is a time to remember what you do have in your life to be grateful for. I can think of half a dozen things right off the top of my head....one starts with a T .

[Gmoney]

Hi Doug,

I certainly feel you. I guess it's easy to chant those good'ole sayings when you're not in the hot seat. Yet, from my experience, they do ring true. I lost my job after almost 20 years of service due to my addiction. Mind you, it was a very, very good job and my lifestyle reflected my earnings. I went deeper into addiction...committed crimes...went to prison after I got clean...yada, yada, yada... Came home and had to face EXTREME debt and unemployment. It was depressing, but I was grateful to be clean and having another chance.

I got a job at Burger King because everywhere else I applied gave me the runaround. As I continued to go to meetings, I heard an oldtimer share that, "Anything we need can be found in our meetings. All we have to do is ask for it!" So...I did just that - I started sharing about how I needed additional income to support myself and how depressing (and humbling) it was to work for $6 an hour, and if anyone knew of a lead I could follow it would help. Sure enough, as I was leaving a meeting a member pulled me to the side and gave me a name & number to call for a job. I went home and called the number and the guy told me to come in for an interview the next morning. The next day I was hired at $8.50 an hour and now I had two jobs. But, listen...it gets better.

The job that fired me told me that once I came home from serving my debt to society they would consider re-hiring me, so I constantly called them trying to get reinstated. I called and called and called. Sure..with the two jobs I was able to keep the lights on and put food on the table, but the work was hard and the pay wasn't nearly what I once made. I'd cry on my sponsor's shoulder day after day about how my old job was jerking my chain, and he'd always chant those sayings you mentioned (I hated it!!). Yeah, it sounded good...but I know what I wanted and it wasn't happening!!

Without going into detail, I did almost everything I could to "make" my old job let me back in, but nothing worked. I began to lose hope and one day I told myself that it just wasn't meant to be. I called my sponsor and told him that I was going on with my life and forgetting about going back to my old job. I resigned myself to doing the best I could with what I had. That night I remember praying and asking God to help me have peace of mind and gratitude with my decision.

The next morning I received a phone call from my old job asking me was I ready to return to work!! I almost flipped!! They reinstated me with full pay and benefits and gave me credit for past seniority. That was almost 7 years ago and in about 3 years (God willing) I'll be able to retire with a full pension.

I know it may sound corny, but it has been my experience that once I step out of the way and truly surrender, my HP steps in and does for me what I cannot do for myself. I did my part (which was minimal) and God did his. The results may not have come when I wanted them to (and my faith was seriously tested), but everything worked out.

The suggestions already offered are great. I can only add that you may consider sharing in meetings that you could use a job RIGHT NOW. Keep your head up, something will come through for you.

Best wishes & good luck.

GarryW

[Doug]

Thanks Garry, that's a good example of how it can work. I know from experience that I have a bad habit of getting in my own way, in the way of "things happening", and I have a feeling it's happening now as well.

Part of my problem is, that is hit me so hard, and so fast that I focused on it closely, which made it appear to grow, which made me focus harder, which made it seem to grow, and back and forth and on and on. And in the process, reality, gratitude, open mindedness, and faith all got squeezed out.

I've only recently began to talk about it openly, and just posted about it here, because I don't like to "complain" about money. I'm not comfortable in my ability to talk about it without sounding like I'm looking for a handout or something, if that makes any sense. False pride? Ego? Could be.....

Since I've started talking about it though, today is the first day in about two weeks I'm not walking around my house clutching my head, cussing my higher power, and wondering how much pain I have to endure.

The situation hasn't changed yet, but I'm starting to feel.... ok with it as it is, and I'll take that for whatever it's worth, because there has been some seriously ugly sh*t floating around among my "committee" for the last two weeks.

Thanks again; you're post is where I'm trying to get too.

[Gmoney]

Originally Posted by Doug

I've only recently began to talk about it openly, and just posted about it here, because I don't like to "complain" about money. I'm not comfortable in my ability to talk about it without sounding like I'm looking for a handout or something, if that makes any sense. False pride? Ego? Could be......

Oh man...you got that right!! I hated asking for help because I've always been a "do-it-yourselfer." And yes...pride and ego does play a part. But I'm sure you know that a closed mouth can't be fed, and the same humility we used to reach out for help in recovery can help us in other areas, too. You're doing it now by sharing with us. I have a tendency to make mountains out of molehills and get caught up with my "committee" too.

I have a sponsee who was in a terrible car crash a couple of years ago. He had to have reconstructive surgery and almost died. He walks with a cane now but is almost fully recovered. His medical benefits expired recently and he's used all of his savings. He shared with me that he doesn't return to work until the end of March and he's depressed about money. I asked him whether he believed his HP helped him thus far. He said yes. I asked, "What makes you think your HP won't stay with you until April?"

We've all come a long way, and sometimes it looks pretty ugly before it looks better. The key, for me, is to hold on because my HP hasn't brought me this far to let me go. I'll bet the same applies for you.

Hold on my friend. Your blessing is on its way.

[Doug]

JFT had an interesting reading in it for yesterday, 2-7, anybody read it? Another good one for times of stress is 3-17.

[CarolD]

Sorry to see of your present difficulties Doug.

When I need help...any type of help
I share with AA members.

Tap into that resource ....it's never failed me.
I have found a job...an apartment ...where to
get cheap furniture...phone numbers of local
charities....a new doctor and denists.

Prayers for your peace

[2ala2]

I'm somewhere near where Doug is at. I'm trying to find what His will for me is. I struggle with letting go all the time, a continous tug-of-war.
It's so easy for me to see the empty side of my life at a glance. However, if I take a good look, I see blessings everywhere.
My disease wants to see results now, lol. Instant gratification is only available through drugs and I choose not to do any today. All will be well if I don't pick up, work my steps, ask for His help, and call up somebody and tell them what i'm thinking of.
What a story Gary, made my day!

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by Doug

JFT had an interesting reading in it for yesterday, 2-7, anybody read it? Another good one for times of stress is 3-17.

Nope, my emails stopped for some reason.

How come you dont post them anymore? Did SR stop for legal reasons?

[Doug]

I just got side tracked and never picked it back up. I can't believe you don't have a real book Paulie! WTF? PM me your address and I'll be happy to send you one. Books are nice because they're ready and availabile all day, every day. They don't crash, or get virus', they don't need back ups, or even electricity. Oh, and they're available at just about any meeting you go to.

Tell somebody at a meeting you're a newcomer, you don't have one but want one, and they will probably just give you one.

[Paulie]

Tell somebody at a meeting you're a newcomer, you don't have one but want one, and they will probably just give you one.

You are a funny guy.

I had a book for years, the original one I got when I got clean, I gave it to a women who needed one. I was getting emails, I never thought to buy another...but now I just might do that smartypants!!!!!!! I signed up again for the emails this morning on a different email address.

[Doug]

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by Doug

:rof

[Doug]

Well sh*t. Again. The hits just keep on comin'. The "what do I do now" list is growing, the pressure is mounting, and today....

Today my mom had a doctor appt to get a skin cancer "proceedure" done. She was pretty worried about it, I imagine I would be too. My dad went with her, which was good, and I was planning on going with her as well.

Not only did I forget all about going, I forgot to call her before, and after I got a text message that she was home. I forgot because all I see is this problem, which sill doesn't have a solution.

In fact, my boss called me today and pushed back my start day another week....

I sure don't feel like "He" is "walking with me" right now.

[Paulie]

I sure don't feel like "He" is "walking with me" right now.

He is Doug, I know that. You just have to have faith that it wil get better. As long as you dont use. If we pick up when things are hard, really hard, we take away the chance of them getting better.

Call your mom, it will be okay.

I hope things go well for her.

I am praying for you my friend.

[Lily]

Doug,

I just prayed for you and your situation. I am sorry you are in such hard spot. I hope your mom is okay too. Glad your dad could go w/ her. I pray your day gets better.

Blessings, Sheila

BTW....What is the JFT and how do I sign up?

[Paulie]

Sheila -

JFT - meaning the Just For Today NA readings, an inspiration reading for each day of the year, recovery related. You can get a book at a meeting or have them emailed to you daily.

Click here -

Just For Today

[Gmoney]

Originally Posted by GarryW

We've all come a long way, and sometimes it looks pretty ugly before it looks better. The key, for me, is to hold on because my HP hasn't brought me this far to let me go. I'll bet the same applies for you.

Hold on my friend. Your blessing is on its way.

Hold on Doug...come hell or high water.