Step Four

[hairgirl]

I am in the beginning phases of this step.I have gotten a guide from my mtg. to help, and I know that doing this is "a must" to keep moving forward in my recovery, but it will open some pretty serious wounds.There is a little fear in reliving sexual abuse,abandonment,suicide attempts.I pray for guidance and support from my HP.
If you have been here, tell me how it went for you, what you learned, what changed for you,etc.Thanks to those who choose to share.

[dgillz]

Step 4 - Made searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

How can this make you relive sexual abuse and abandonment? I am assuming here that you were the victim, not the abuser or abandoner.

[Doug]

Don't forget the assets too. Believe it or not, we do have some.

And a question for you, if you don't mind...

Are you doing this "step work" alone?

[Gmoney]

Step 4 helped me to know who I am - the good, the bad and the ugly. I wasn't afraid to do it and I really thought the fear stuff surrounding the 4th step was a myth. Once I got started, I found it wasn't that bad. I needed to know me.

[hairgirl]

Releasing your resentments make you relive those things I mentioned, against others who have harmed me, and some whom I have harmed.Yes, I was the victim of those things, I've carried it around for years, and am learning to let go of them.I am not doing it alone, I have a great sponsor and will be looking to other members for support.

[Paulie]

I was like you when I did my first 4th, and my 2nd and 3rd LOL. For me the fear of reality, the reality of things I did and what was done to me terrified me. But, sharing things outloud with my sponsor releases the power it has over me, helped me to take responsibilty for what I needed to and let go of what I was blaming myself for. Helped me to let go of blame of others, that word resentment....such a powerful word, when released, when we let go of the power of it, you can feel it leaving your body, at least I did.

It is scary, IMO at least it was for me, but each time so very worth it and the growth that comes from it is immeaserurable!!!!!

You go hairgirl!!!

[Time2Surrender]

When I have done a 4th it always was a releif. I also found it wasnt that bad. There was nothing in my 4th step I didnt already know. Only a lotta things I needed to let go.

[SaTiT]

Do you have a sponsor that can help you or guide you through this ?
A sponsor that have been there and walked through it.
You know ask your sponsor about those issues you listed.

maybe you can just ease yourself into this
just make a list of what you like and what you don't like.

Yes been there. I don't think i was sexaully abuse, but yes the other stuff
and more. The emotions can be very strong so keep yourself in safe enviorment.
My apt was set up as a santuary. i've gone through the process of
cleaning house on the outside.

You don't have to face all the issues all at one time. just try to write
everyday. Face one issue at a time.
Give yourself time to process things. Be gentle, patient with yourself
from the eyes of a loving adult. That's why we had to practice loving
ourselves in early, early recovery. And we pretty much settle dowm,
we learned how rest. I pray and ask for strenght and protection.
beucase you're talking about PTSD in your post.

it's not a sex inventory or resentment inventory.

You can watch the movie " the kid" while it's hollywood. and the movie
ends in a couple of hours and it's a bit more glamouse. It's the general idea.

After each session praise yourself. Sometimes I was even at an emotional
wreack or I'll get triggers during work hours while i was in this process.

if you deem this might be too much for you to face..maybe you can
seek a therapist to help guide you through this process. becuase sometimes
the thoughts and emotions are so stronge..it's like i was there, again.
So a profession or someone with experince might need to be there to pull you out of it.

yes..make make and asset list after every session or read it after every session.