Doing My First 4th Step

[2ala2]

Hello All,
My sponsor just told me to start reading Step 4, share with people, and get back to him before I do any writing.
Any advice on how to start writing when I do?

[mackie]

I did a pretty shoddy 4th step the first time I was in treatment. So, I guess you get out of it what you put into it.

My suggestion is a timeline...............and to be thorough. Get all the stuff on the table so you can really start the healing process. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF!

You cannot heal what you won't reveal!

Good Luck!

[TONYTEXAS]

SOunds good, Im towards the end of a couple of fourth steps. Good stuff. Revealing. Have fun!

[daydream]

Are you going to be using the NA Step-Working Guide or another guide?

[Gmoney]

Just get honest - no sugarcoating, no minimizing....get butt naked on paper. For me the 4th step is about telling the truth so I can know what I need to know about me. It's suggested that we write as if there is no 5th step.

[Paulie]

get butt naked on paper

WELL SAID!!!!!

It's suggested that we write as if there is no 5th step

When you do think about sharing it with your sponsor, and you will. Remember they have done their own 4th steps too. It is pretty safe to assume nothing you say to them will shock them in anyway. Nothing you say to them will make them think any less of you. This is about you helping yourself...so go get butt naked

[mike_mass]

Be honest and thorough.

[Timebuster]

Google….Working Step Four in Narcotics Anonymous….help me when I did my 4th.

Ivan

[REZ]

All that has been said is good advice. Also: don't forget to look for behavior patterns. Don't just write a laundry list of bad stuff you did. Some of the patterns that get me into trouble were/are: fear, anger, resentment, jealousy/envy, pride/ego, lust, gluttony, sloth, greed, self-pity, dishonesty...Good luck!

[Gmoney]

It's also important to remember that a 4th step isn't about all the dirty, low-down stuff we did or do. Like Rez mentioned, while looking at our behavior patterns, we should include those things that are beneficial and worthwhile. We all have good traits, too.

[REZ]

As Garry said, don't forget the good stuff! All people have good qualities, even us addicts. Some good qualities you might have at this point in your recovery might include: honesty (from working step one and step four), open-mindedness (from step two), willingness (from step 3), and perhaps even some courage and a little humility.

[2ala2]

Thank you all for your very useful replies. Here goes I guess. I will start writing tonite.
Yes I am using the step working guide,
Thanks everybody

[Jerzy007]

Yo 2ala2, im doing my 4th step for the 2nd time the Back to Basics (a book written by Wally P about how the step work was done traditionally by Bill and Bob) and it is much more practical, what it is is a spreadsheet and a character defect checklist inventory regarding the people, institutuion, and fears that you go over with your sponsor and then verbally explain the situation leading your 5th step. They say that the percentage of addicts and alce's staying sober by completeing the steps this way was 90% and that time and that it is the quickest way to a spirtual awakening. This is extremely important and i wish m,ore people knew the way that the old timers worked the program...check out the book..its truth indeed, many exerpts from the bigbook are included but they realized that a newcomer needed extra assitance from sponsors to be guided through the steps

[SaTiT]

The process of the 4th step also helps strengthen the relationship with
your HP. If you're going to do it , you might as will get was honest as
you can. Don't worry about doing right or wrong..The point of it is,
it's the PROCESS. We start processing unwanted emotions/thoughts
we sholve down deep inside of us. It's like shining light into a can
of warms. Or the denialing stage stops.lol
It is also the begining of our charector build stage.

Don't evaluate too much at the ,moment..just take an inventory
or make a list of what you have. All of it , the good and the bad.

Yeap..don't forget to make an asset list too. Sometimes that's actaully
a harder list to make, because we have a wrap perceptions of ourselve.
Everybody has assets.

You know..capitalize on your assets and work on your liabilities.

On my last 4th step it was suggested that I write for 90 days..."fooies"
my sponsor always comes up with something new.
Something about the principles of ...it dosn't happen overnight,
patients, persistence. It was very helpful for me becuase some of
the stuff I was writing about where very painful issues. It gave me
time to process it everynight, instead of whiping through it or
going through the motions. I actaully got well in many areas.

If you feel like you can't continue, then stop take a deep breath
and pray for the strenght and courage to move forward.