Sponsorship

[Chance]

We had a guy come to the meeting tonight and he had said that he had relapsed. Now, this really doesn't surprise me, for most of us have relapsed through most of our lives and those that don't can learn from us that do. He was of course beating himself up over this, and like I tell anyone, "Pick yourself up and dust yourself off!" I also asked him if he had learned from it.

He is having a hard time admitting that he is Powerless over alcohol and POT! I can so relate to that, for I never did get into a hell of a lot of trouble with the POT anyways, but I sure did from the drinking. I know that this is a Program of complete abstinence. He doesn't have a sponsor, and he has been thinking about using me.

I told him to go home and read Relapse and Recovery! I love that chapter! I told him that now that he is going to go home and read it that I would go home and read it also. I am not "officially" his sponsor, matter of fact I think that there are only two people in our group that has more time than I do. I don't really think that it matters on the time wise, I think that one addict helping another is without parallel. I believe in him and I just want to help him if I can. I do however have to realize that all I can do is carry the message and that there is hope.

I am just not sure if I qualify to be a sponsor. I am working step 6 on paper but I try my best to live by the Principles today in all of my affairs and that isn't such a easy task sometimes. I just wanted to know and I know this has been brought up before here but I can not find the threads.

Am I really qualified, I know that if I don't take the credit for his recovery that I won't have to take the blame if he does relapse. Anyways I just feel aweful that anyone has to go back out, it sucks and I know that from experience, however I also know that relapse isn't all that bad of a thing if we learn from it. Anyways I guess I just needed to vent.

With Love and Respect

Vic

[Sugah]

The best thing about sponsorship is that when a sponsor gives suggestions to a sponsee, s/he has to be willing to take them as well -- hence how one addict helps another addict stay clean.

Just food for thought, Vic.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Moontime]

Vic, Pretty simple talk to your sponsor and ask him if your ready to be a sponsor.

[windysan]

I was too much of a basket case to sponsor anyone. I was no good at it.

[primarypurpose]

'Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs'

This indicates that in order to truly be of benefit to an addict you need to have had a spiritual awakening / physic change through the completion and maintenance of the 12 Steps. Before completing the Steps I bestowed plenty of information on others that I would now contradict due to having had the aforementioned spiritual awakening

As a further point I contact many a newcomer on a regular basis offering support and clarify any query in regard to the program that they may have, although they arent sponsees of mine. This is my conception of what fellowship entails, whereas the purpose of sponsorship is to take an addict through the Steps, ensuring that they come to have this spiritual awakening / physic change. Therefore any potential sponsor should be fully acquainted with the entirety of the process and have had the experience himself / herself in order to pass it on

However I do recognise that within certain areas there is a dearth of individuals who have had this awakening, given the amount of time which most allocate to Step Work and therefore this may not always be possible

Personally Id advise, as opposed to putting this query past others, as it is more than likely you will receive differing opinions, that you refer to the relevant NA Literature for guidance, as the literature within each fellowship is the basis of its program

[windysan]

I never had a spiritual awakening/religious experience.

dang

[Chance]

Well I talked to my sponsor this morning concerning the matter and he said Congratulations He said that I have been in the Program for 5 years now and that my experience with relapse would probably be really helpful for him and like I always say maybe others can learn and not make the same mistakes that I had made. I think that this would really help me out also, .

windysan I never had a spiritual awakening/religious experience.

dang

I think that you have had your own sort of spiritual experience and the reason that I say that is because you remain dope free! Plus you talk about change behaviors and that is all part of it. I am not really a religious person like I used to be however, I believe that something out there is more Powerful than me. It is like GOD (Group Of Druggies) LOL or DOG (god backwards) Today I don't have to identify it I just have to believe.

With Love and Respect

Vic

And thanks for all of your replies

[windysan]

Originally Posted by luckyv2

Well I talked to my sponsor this morning concerning the matter and he said Congratulations He said that I have been in the Program for 5 years now and that my experience with relapse would probably be really helpful for him and like I always say maybe others can learn and not make the same mistakes that I had made. I think that this would really help me out also, .



I think that you have had your own sort of spiritual experience and the reason that I say that is because you remain dope free! Plus you talk about change behaviors and that is all part of it. I am not really a religious person like I used to be however, I believe that something out there is more Powerful than me. It is like GOD (Group Of Druggies) LOL or DOG (god backwards) Today I don't have to identify it I just have to believe.

With Love and Respect

Vic

And thanks for all of your replies

Wish I could say the same for myself. I'm afraid that I'm too dumb to believe anything. I don't even know if I'm typing this right now. LOL

[Thundar301]

you need to be careful not to put so much effort into helping others that YOUR recovery suffers Vic, but by all means if you can give this man a helping hand, that is what this is all about, by giving away what was freely given to us we can keep what we have.. you get out of yourself at least for a little while as you are help others. as for the question about being qualified , are any of us? prolly not legally with a counseling degree, but are experiences in the life and the actions we took to bring us to the point we are at in our recovery today qualify for something, we can reach out, and help where we can. I glad you talked to your sponser about it too, excellent thought process there! keep on, keeping on! thank you also Vic for your J.F.T. postings, Dean

[Time2Surrender]

Sponsorship is a huge part of recovery. The sooner the better. As for being qualified. A guy with 30 days has something to offer the guy with 24 hours. Vic, reading your posts over the last year or so, I would say you have plenty to offer and are more than qualified.

[Gmoney]

I agree with Moontime...ask your sponsor if you're ready.

I'm not so sure about the spiritual awakening thing or waiting until you've completed all 12 steps (formally). I haven't read that anywhere in any NA literature I've been exposed to. IMHO, A spiritual awakening is something that can happen at any given time during one's recovery process. The literature tells us that we experience a spiritual awakening gradually or as soon as we get clean. Even the BT says, "The idea of a spiritual awakening takes on many different forms in the different personalities that we find in the Fellowship." I'm sure the "spirit comes alive" idea was what was considered when NA said even a member with one day clean in the NA Fellowship can carry the message that this program works.

I do agree that our literature points us in the right direction whenever we have questions about what NA says. The IP (#11) on Sponsorship tells us what qualifications are needed:

"It is suggested that a sponsor be someone who has practice in working the Twelve Steps and is involved in the program."

- and -

"...someone who has a firm grasp on the twelve suggested steps of recovery of NA, seems reasonably happy, and has the willingness to help other recovering addicts."

Just because you've only "formally" reached Step 6, doesn't mean you don't have practice in working the 12 steps, nor does it have to mean you don't have a 'firm grasp' of the 12 steps. Only you and your sponsor can answer that. I began sponsoring other members while I was still on step 8, but I only did so with approval from my own sponsor. The sponsorship IP even talks about how members with only a few months clean can be a sponsor. I'm sure it's a very rare occurrence for someone with only a few months to have completed all 12 steps, eh? Think about it....if everyone waited until they formally completed all 12 steps with a sponsor to begin sponsoring others:

1] Members who have completed all 12 steps would be overwhelmed and wouldn't have the time or willingness to sponsor all those that need one.

2] The backlog of members waiting to "move on" in their step work would be enormous!!

3] There would be fewer members completing the steps.

etc...

Just my opinion. Ask your sponsor.