Take what you need and leave the rest - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

REZ · 12-16-2006, 11:02 AM

I have heard this slogan quite a few times and I understand what it means, but I'm not so sure I fully agree with it. The problem, as I see it, is that it can open the door to not listening closely to people who are sharing and ignoring some steps or traditions (or parts of them) because you don't feel you need it. On the other hand, there are also a lot of personal opinions expressed in meetings that have little to do with the program that people don't need to cloud their mind with. Any thoughts?

Grateful Addict · 12-16-2006, 03:29 PM

I understand what you are saying. I try to identify with the feelings and not compare stories, but sometimes it is difficult to keep the focus on myself and apply what someone else is saying to my own experience, especially when I don't hear recovery. Yet, I guess that when someone is sharing their experience, strenth, and hope, they are practicing the steps and the traditions.

I have also heard, take what you need and put the rest on a shelf for you may need it later.

Peace and love.

REZ · 12-17-2006, 10:54 AM

I like that one better: "Take what you need and put the rest on the shelf for later." That leaves the door open to learning...

Grateful Addict · 12-17-2006, 12:58 PM

I agree. I think that "take what you need and leave the rest on a shelf for later" leads to humility. It acknowledges that I may not know everything. It also leads to understanding. Then, instead of judging people, I can be aware of what they are going through so that I can look at my own attitudes and behaviors before they get out of hand. "There but for the grace of God go I."

GlassPrisoner · 12-17-2006, 04:56 PM

I posed this question to my sponsor. He said it applies to peoples opinions and sharing, not the 12 steps. I tend to agree.

There is nothing in the Big Book or 12 steps that we can leave out. It makes many references to "clear cut directions".

windysan · 12-17-2006, 05:55 PM

I just took what I needed and left for good. 3.7 years later and doing well.

REZ · 12-17-2006, 06:10 PM

"I just took what I needed and left for good. 3.7 years later and doing well."
Windysam

You must still need something or you wouldn't be posting on this board.

windysan · 12-18-2006, 05:55 AM

Not really. I'm pretty content. Soberrecovery is a good place. No drug court boneheads toting oxycontin around here. Why do you assume that I need something?

12-16-2006, 11:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
REZ Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chapel Hill, NC Posts: 987	Take what you need and leave the rest I have heard this slogan quite a few times and I understand what it means, but I'm not so sure I fully agree with it. The problem, as I see it, is that it can open the door to not listening closely to people who are sharing and ignoring some steps or traditions (or parts of them) because you don't feel you need it. On the other hand, there are also a lot of personal opinions expressed in meetings that have little to do with the program that people don't need to cloud their mind with. Any thoughts?

12-17-2006, 04:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
GlassPrisoner Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Murrieta, Ca Posts: 2,685	I posed this question to my sponsor. He said it applies to peoples opinions and sharing, not the 12 steps. I tend to agree. There is nothing in the Big Book or 12 steps that we can leave out. It makes many references to "clear cut directions". __________________ Life Happens

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12-16-2006, 03:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
Grateful Addict Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NY Posts: 4	I understand what you are saying. I try to identify with the feelings and not compare stories, but sometimes it is difficult to keep the focus on myself and apply what someone else is saying to my own experience, especially when I don't hear recovery. Yet, I guess that when someone is sharing their experience, strenth, and hope, they are practicing the steps and the traditions. I have also heard, take what you need and put the rest on a shelf for you may need it later. Peace and love.

12-17-2006, 10:54 AM	#3 (permalink)
REZ Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chapel Hill, NC Posts: 987	I like that one better: "Take what you need and put the rest on the shelf for later." That leaves the door open to learning...

12-17-2006, 12:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Grateful Addict Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NY Posts: 4	I agree. I think that "take what you need and leave the rest on a shelf for later" leads to humility. It acknowledges that I may not know everything. It also leads to understanding. Then, instead of judging people, I can be aware of what they are going through so that I can look at my own attitudes and behaviors before they get out of hand. "There but for the grace of God go I."

12-17-2006, 05:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
windysan Large Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 3,547	I just took what I needed and left for good. 3.7 years later and doing well.

12-17-2006, 06:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
REZ Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chapel Hill, NC Posts: 987	"I just took what I needed and left for good. 3.7 years later and doing well." Windysam You must still need something or you wouldn't be posting on this board.

12-18-2006, 05:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
windysan Large Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 3,547	Not really. I'm pretty content. Soberrecovery is a good place. No drug court boneheads toting oxycontin around here. Why do you assume that I need something?

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