What is Rock Bottom?

[katie44]

Just wondering what is rock bottom? I know its different for everyone. What concerns me is I never hear of a younger person cleaning up there act. It seems generally they have been using 10 or 15 years. That is frightening! Another thing that is truly annoying is peoples attitudes towards drug addiction. It seems there are alot of people out there that just look at a drug addict as the lower life of society, not someones loved one. My sister actually said to me " just get rid of your son, he chose to be an addict and if he were my son I would disown him" She has no children. People are always so full of advice. I stopped talking to people about him a long time ago because they truly do not understand. I dont truly understand. Are there any kids 19 or 20 that have been addicts and are living a clean life? What I have finally come to know is that there isnt a thing that we can do to help them. All my protecting him, going to drug testing , rehab centres, spying on him etc. etc. was a waste of time. If I could turn the clock back I would have had him charged with fraud a long time ago. I cant believe what manipulators they are. Sad thing is I look at my son right now and I dont like him. Hes rude, sneakyand lazy. This is not the child I raised. I suppose as parents we all mourn the death of our dreams for our children. This year he was supposed to be starting University, dating nice girls and leading a productive life. Instead he hangs out with a bunch of addicts like himself. It is all so sad. Anyhow just venting this morning.

[Chance]

In the NA Basic Text on page 15 it says

We had had enough of self-destruction. We experienced our powerlessness. When nothing relieved our paranoia and fear, we hit bottom and became ready to ask for help.

I know that those two things over 5 months ago drove me into the program of NA again, with all willingness to do things different. I know that I am always going to make mistakes, but I hope that I am making new mistakes today, rather than repeating the same ones. I do know that if it wasn't for the fear and the paranoia then I wouldn't be alive today. Hope that you find peace.

Love and Respect

Vic

[Running]

What is Rock Bottom? You are right it is different for each person. I am someone's daughter and I too use to be an addict. I'm clean and sober for over a year now.

I know there was a time when my mom felt much like you are describing here about me. The one thing I can say that she did for me is she loved me way to much to give up. There is always hope, but the truth of the matter is until your son wants to change he will not.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. It brings back too many memories of days when my own parents sat worried sick over me and disgusted over my actions.

When you are young you think you have all the time in the world and many times you get the attitude that nothing bad can happen to you. I'm sure that is part of your son's attitude about life.

Hang in there and don't give up hope. Running

[aasharon90]

Rock bottom for me was when i couldn't go anymore with my drinking. I had tried countless times to quit without success. Countless promises that failed. It was getting into a bad accident in Feb 90 that led me to the hospital for 10days with them removing my spleen are else i would have bled to death. It was recoverying very nicely in a few months or so just to pick up a drink and try to end my life. The progression of my disease was extremely rapid that i had no idea. It was Aug 90 that i took a hand full of pills and wanted out....Thank God my attempt failed are i wouldnt be hear to tell u about it. My family stepped in and did an intervention on me which landed me in rehab for 28 days where i picked up the tools and knowledge of recovery and how to stay sober one day at a time.

Rock Bottom is reaching that point in dispair....when words of "God Help Me" or Someone or something Help me because i cant go on any longer.

Then in that moment of lowness....something comes over u...a moment of clarity which lead u to reach out for help.

[Blake]

Rock bottom is a myth, the only true rock bottom is death...we can ALLWAYS go lower till that point. My personal rock bottom was reached whenever I threw down the shovel and stopped digging....it is a choice....

I got clean relativly young, I was 23, and now I'm comming up on 2 years clean. My roommate was 19 when he went to treatment, he has been clean ever since and has a little over 2 years.

It's great to get clean no matter how old you are, but especially when you are young. I have my whole life ahead of me now that I wouldn't have had had I kept using. Recently I got accepted into the best culinary school in the country and I'm moving to NY in feb to attend it....NO WAY would I have ever guess this would happen when I got clean.

[Cindi R]

I was a "functional addict" for 25 years...
I was able to avoid any problems with the law, with my employer, with my family, ect while continuing to grow sicker and sicker...
Eventually I was busted at work with a dirty UA for methamphetamines...and I had to make the choice of my career or the dope...
it took me about a week to decide that I wanted to keep my job as a nurse...
I got clean and sober and then things began to make sense...
I realized that I could lose my children...
and everything else...my house, my job, my life...
I began to care about living life clean and sober, where before my mind was so clouded by my drug use that the only thing that I could think about was getting high.
I've seen young people "get" the program..
I've also seen many, many addicts go back "out there" and some die as a result of this disease.
Today I'm grateful for the second chance at the new life that this program has given me.

[REZ]

My son, age 14, is rude, sneaky, and lazy, even without drugs. I hate to think of what drugs would do to him!

[FarFromLoozen]

All my protecting him, going to drug testing , rehab centres, spying on him etc. etc. was a waste of time. If I could turn the clock back I would have had him charged with fraud a long time ago.

I think you may have answered your own question with the quote above.

We will never “hit our Bottom” if we are never allowed to hit it. In my case, many people enabled me to continue on with my drug use, although that is NOT what they thought they were doing.

I cant believe what manipulators they are.

I manipulated and lied to those who were only trying to help. I finally “Cleaned Up” when I had no one left to manipulate. Everyone I knew would no longer help me out of my messes. The only way out of the mess was to get clean.

This is my experience with hitting “Bottom”. So it is possible for us to help the addict continue to use or help the addict find their bottom by doing nothing.

I hope your son finds recovery.


FFL

[Gooch]

When you've run out of options, your sick and tired of being sick and tired, and desperate enough to seek answers from others who have thrown their shovels down and quit digging.

[katie44]

Thankyou for all the replies. It is really great to have boards to come to like this to realize we are not going crazy. Detaching from someone you love if one of the most difficult things in life. Again thankyou!

[Blood500]

I am 19 and want nothing more right now in my life to be clean. I started using Herion when I was 16 and now use everyday. Today is the first day in awhile I have read this fourm, and I am goin to give it my all 2morrow to stay clean. I cant talk to my own parents about it, they are in the middle of a devoice I was told was mostly my fault and I cant and dont want to give them anything else to stress about right now. When i get off tether I am going to go back to rehab if I cant do this on my own with the help of this website and maybe NA/AA meetings. I look forward to posting more 2morrow and talking to you all. Thanks Ryan

[lostparent]

You can do it Ryan ! Never give up take it one day at a time.

[Blood500]

Thanks, I didnt do it today I ended up using. I cant seem to get that first day it seems so so hard. I have so much I want to do and I feel like using is the first thing I need to do each day, and then after that I will get done everything else I need to do. I feel so lost right now, I have so many problems I need to deal with that would be so much easier to take care of if I didnt use, but that still dosent make me stop, I dont know why, I hate this drug so much, every night I say how im done, but the first thing the next day I am like how can I get it. I just lost my job because of it. Can some people help me I want to go to this certin rehab I went to before and it really help but i dont have the money and i am on tether till christmas eve so it will have to wait till after that if i can get CARE to pay for it maybe, i pray. Can some give me words of advice and encouragement plz thanks you all.

Ryan

[LIL_Pebbles]

I feel that rock bottom to some mean death, or close to deaths door-way.
Rock Bottom is different for everyone is different.

Rock Bottom to me is near death's door, about to go to prison for life the ending of being, the ending of all is about to come, if we do not surender the toxic pills, what your addiction is, to be rid of it, to know it, surrender, to get to the point where one can not take it anymore...even if a thousand pills of their choice landed on their lap.

[windysan]

I can't explain where it is.....but I found it.

[LIL_Pebbles]

Originally Posted by Blood500

Thanks, I didnt do it today I ended up using. I cant seem to get that first day it seems so so hard. I have so much I want to do and I feel like using is the first thing I need to do each day, and then after that I will get done everything else I need to do. I feel so lost right now, I have so many problems I need to deal with that would be so much easier to take care of if I didnt use, but that still dosent make me stop, I dont know why, I hate this drug so much, every night I say how im done, but the first thing the next day I am like how can I get it. I just lost my job because of it. Can some people help me I want to go to this certin rehab I went to before and it really help but i dont have the money and i am on tether till christmas eve so it will have to wait till after that if i can get CARE to pay for it maybe, i pray. Can some give me words of advice and encouragement plz thanks you all.

Ryan

Hi I am also an opiate addict, have you ever did a cold turkey? and if so do you think you could? If you were to tell your parents that you sliped and want help, go to rehab, would they support you in this? You want help, I see this and I would think even though your parents are getting a divorce, you stated it was about you, I feel that they should not blame you, iut was they who were weak as a couple to pull togather as that. #1 you want help and I see where you are, you not wanting ot tell them about your using again, but I do not think they want a dead son, a parents nightmare. It is very important to get into Rehab, around here in MA. it is free. Non probit organsation, every state from what I was just old has them, see if you can find one, I also know that certain rehabs will not take in a adict unless certain insure. oney. Another alternative and this is extreme is you go to the emergency room, tell the doctore your a heroin addict how much and how long you have been using, tell him/her you want to go into rehab, the doctor may juyst be able to get you in somewhere, I think by law that if a person wants to harm/suicide they have to take you in a psychiatric ward, most addict do get to this point. I wished that I could be of more help to you and pray that you get the help you want, I seen my sisters withdrawl from heroin, not pretty at all. Me? I'm on pain killers and had to go back on them, I had a seizer doing a cold turkey, this is a medical issue, so is Heroin addiction.

[SaTiT]

Rock bottom is an old KISS song.lol

Some of us are sicker than others or we all have different
tolernace of pain or the threshole.
Perhapes some us just fried more brain cells than others.

A person can become comfortable in chaos/dysfuntion/un-heathly stuff.

Jail , institution or death......six feet under is plenty deep.

The threshole...some of us gets lucky and the bottom actually
comes up and hits us.

However hitting bottom is not all bad. iTs actaully a miracle, other wise
you would just keep on going and on and on and on.
Hence the term " an opportunity in chaso"

If youre in pain or whatever...you can go deeply into it.
The sooner you process/experince it , the sooner you'll come out of it.
You know..you'll grow up or grow out of it, becuase you got
sick and tired if being sicked and tired.

[Time2Surrender]

Not sure about rock bottom, I only know I dont wanna forget my last day of using. It helps keep me clean. I have reached what I thought was an emotional bottom, spiritually bankrupt. Then theres the financial bottom, homelessness etc. But like Blake said, as long as your alive you can always go lower. As far as young people seeking recovery and staying clean? Young people are a minority at most groups Ive seen, but they are around. I know of several in my area 18, 19, 20 years old with one or more years clean. I think its hard for the young people in NA because most the people at a meeting are 30+ yrs old. So they may not always feel comfortable. I think it would be cool if there were more meetings around for young people and maybe if NA was available in High School.

[Dilberto]

Rock-bottom for me- meant for me to stop digging, to find out. I can dig all the way through to China, if I let myself. Money was my biggest trigger- I made lots of it....in my many occupations. In the 25 years of alcohol and substance abuse(Meth) I had been experiencing, I earned over six-figures annually, as a successful stockbroker, and later-on, a software engineer. In those days, I drank and smoked meth like it was going out of style. In addition to my substance addiction- I was an adrenaline junkie too. I had a passion for fast cars and bikes. I owned a fleet of racing Porsche cars, and Harley-Davidsons. I also threw away a completely perfect marriage with a beautiful wife, and young son, just because of my selfish desire to do dope and cheat. They never deserved this treatment. After the divorce- I always kept a trio of women at my side, because I always feared being lonely.

In 1998, I received a $1.2million inheritance, from a former stock client, and convicted drug/arms dealer who was going to prison for life. I still netted about $850,000, after greedy attorneys were finished with it. By then it was ON.....I thought I died and went to heaven- and proceeded to squander every last penny of the money over the course of four short, riotous years. My insanity peaked when I threw an x-mas party which did not end until Easter of the following year. By then, I was scooping-up dope with a garden shovel to people. I entered casinos handcuffed to a briefcase full of hundred dollar bills....only to leave days later armed with only my right thumb- to hitch that ride back home. Friends say I bought many Indian tribes- but they all abandoned me, when the money ran out. One night in a drunken, sex and meth-filled stupor, I handed the keys to a brand-new, $120,000 Mercedes-Benz to a complete stranger, whom to this day....do not know her name, or whereabouts. That car has never been recovered.

January, 2006 I was living in the bay area, in a $900,000 home, working a cushy management job at Microsoft, and driving a new 2005 Porsche 911 Turbo. By August- the house was foreclosed, and boss Bill Gates fired me for being late to work over 40 times... in one year. In September, 2006 I accidentally hit a deer, and rolled the Porsche 11 times, while travelling over 100mph. I was lucky the car was equipped with front, side and rooftop airbags...walking away with scratches only.

My disease finally caught up with me this November, when I had four episodes of chest pain, with breathlessness, and rushed to ER. My doctor said 22 years of non-stop meth abuse(smoked 1/4ounce a day), and tobacco (two packs/day)dependency has left my blood pressure through the roof(190systolic/200diastolic)with a pickled, and enlarged heart. Today, I have to take seven different medications twice daily, for life. The upshot is that I still can die any day now, at 42 years old.

I now have 60 days clean, which is my all-time record. I cannot count incarceration of 62 days as "willing clean time". I also have 30 days tobacco-free. I finally did the math..... and realize if I were to wisely invest every penny I ever spent on tobacco, alcohol and meth, throughout the course of 25 years- I could easily retire TODAY with an income exceeding $5000 a month! Being an expert investor- I never lost money in the market. However, I was a complete failure in the ADDICTION MARKET. I have finally reached MY ROCK BOTTOM. Today- there is no other direction to go than but UP. I hope I can live to see the day my 13-year-old clean and sober son accomplish and succeed in his own life TENFOLD.....

Zachary A.
Alcoholic/Addict/X-smoker

[yippeeciayay]

What is Rock Bottom?

for me, hitting bottom refers to a pain threashold.
we all have differing ones so we all have different bottoms.
the one thing that is consitant between us all are that we finally feel enough pain to motivate us to seek changes.

[windysan]

There is a Rock Bottom Lounge in New Orleans.

[VeronicaLee]

For me Rock Bottem is sick and tired of it all and wanting better for myself.

[Thundar301]

for many of us it is a sick thought process in which we play how low can I go? Mine was living in a tent(which was a step up from sleeping under the bushes) in southern California taking cold bucket bathes, washing my clothes in the same bucket, eating whatever was givin to me by others who cared more then I did about me, and begging, stealing to support my Meth habit, gave away my house,car,job and damn near my life for it. All I have received from it is a new better understanding of myself and how I should be living, so thanks Crystal, I wouldn't be here if I had never met you, you almost got me but HA HA ya missed me B*&^%!!!!! thru the help of my higher power I went to rehab by my choice, found the program of N.A. while there thanks to H&I panels,and met myself and my mistakes for the first time honestly, made the choice to do whatever it took to stop dying the way I was trying to live, either get busy living or get busy dying ,but whatever the choice, just stop half-assing my way through life. I am still sick in the head , I still have sick thoughts, but I don't act on the thoughts and I can regonize them most of the time as just my own twisted head working it's own brand of magic. I feel that allows me to reply "getting better" when the reading in the meeting states "we realized after coming to N.A. we were sick people" as others say "sick" in unison. I am not digging anymore, my shovel is down, my hard climb out of the hole I put myself in , is becoming easier, but no where near finished,prolly never will ever be over, but that too is OK. life is good,so is being clean, but Recovery as hard as it is to work for, is the pay value I enjoy the most today ,and what I enjoy the most from the step work and time spent with my sponsers. As low as I got , it still can not hold me down....
the difference between soaring like an Eagle, and becoming splat on the rocks below is knowing when you should jump,or having the nudge you need to take the leap at the right time....Dean

[tbreno12]

Can I tell you something I have 6 1/2 yrs clean and I was one of those people that would say get rid of him, kick him out dont help him let him hit his bottem, and your right we all have our own bottom, then it hapen to me and my boyfrien relasped after 7 years clean wow now what? I listen to all the advice that is so easily said, I have learned it is not that easy I guess what I am trying to say is you will be able to determinge yourself how much you can take, I struggle but I love also and I cant even imagine what it would be like if it were my kids and not just a bf.. tisha

[rahsue]

wow Ryan I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and thank you for sharing