another surgery...

[Heartinpieces]

I'm finally starting to have feelings about this so I am taking my sponsor's suggestion and writing on it.

10 weeks ago I had an arthroscopic shoulder surgery. My recovery has been really rough and physical therapy isn't helping. I've been on pain meds and taking them as prescribed, sharing about this in meetings, reading the basic text and "in times of illness". I go to at least a meeting a day and really keep my program tight and my support group close because the last thing I want to do is relapse. I feel like my relationship with my HP is stronger than it ever has been.

I saw the surgeon today and he was not happy with my progress and now I'm having another surgery to reattach the bicep to the humerus. This is an "open" surgery where he will cut my shoulder and perform the procedure. I will be in the hospital for 2 days after the operation and will be taking off work for about 6 weeks to recuperate.

I'm not really feeling much of anything right now besides the pain in my arm. I'm not freaking out and making this a big deal, I'm just here. I'm not afraid today. I know this is going to be a painful surgery but my head is telling me that I should be freaking out right now and I'm not. I feel calm. Maybe I'm in shock?

I have a lot of faith today. I know this is what my HP wants for me at this time of my life. This injury was caused by a major car accident 10 years ago and I'm lucky I walked away from it at all. I self medicated the pain for so long that when I got clean I finally learned how to take care of myself. I decided I couldn't live with the shoulder and neck pain any longer and took action.

I am so grateful that I even have an arm to be operated on as silly as that might sound. And I'm so grateful that I'm walking thru this fear, because THAT in itself is a miracle. I could not and would not have done this without the program of NA. It is working because I'm workin it...

FAITH N LOVE
Heartinpieces

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by Heartinpieces

I've been on pain meds and taking them as prescribed, sharing about this in meetings, reading the basic text and "in times of illness". I go to at least a meeting a day and really keep my program tight and my support group close because the last thing I want to do is relapse. I feel like my relationship with my HP is stronger than it ever has been.

You are doing awesome, Heartinpieces, totally awesome. Keep up the good work. I am proud of you.

[Heartinpieces]

Thanks Phinny for the encouragement. Its great to have some virtual support!!!!

Have a great saturday.
Heartinpieces

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by Heartinpieces

I am so grateful that I even have an arm to be operated on as silly as that might sound. And I'm so grateful that I'm walking thru this fear, because THAT in itself is a miracle. I could not and would not have done this without the program of NA. It is working because I'm workin it...

FAITH N LOVE
Heartinpieces

Couldn't have said it any better.

cept I might have to change "arm" to "leg" and "walk" to "wheel" .

Thanks for sharing exactly what's been shared with me and what I've tried to share myself.

The program works for us when we get willing to work it.