Maybe Someday I Will Learn

[Chance]

I doubt it but maybe........I get too much in a hurry sometimes, I press things that don't need to be pressed. I don't know which way to turn here and yet I don't feel as if I can talk about it here where I live or here either. I have taken My shot about 2 hours ago. I don't think this is the problem. Right now I just wish that I could turn back the page, the page of the past few days. Living and learning but it seems like I am always too damn inpatient. Damn it all to hell.

[2dayzmuse]

Why can't you talk about it Vic? No one will judge you. I think you are learning Vic. Sometimes lessons are painful. We are here for you...

[Gooch]

patience is a challenge.. Thing is if we don't have the knack to recognize opportunities to practice patience.... we don't get better at it. I think that you being in a hurry to get to the other side, see the answer, or hear the punchline is where you miss out the opportunity to elax and watch the miracles unfold.

I only suggest this because I have had a whole lot of experience beating myself up for being ain a hurry and ultimately winding up later wondring what might have been if I had just slowed up a little and let God do his thing.

Only one way to find out buddy.. give yourself a break, get the Boss on the line and ask Him to help you see your chances to chill out and practice that patience. I gurantee you you'll start being a little more sensitive to knowing when to slow up.

[Chance]

Well I will tell ya I have tried to call my sponsor of the last almost 5 years for a week or more. NO ANSWER, NOTHING, ZILCH! So I figured **** him, he don't want to call me or go through the steps I will get another sponsor. I did that a few nights ago. I got about the same sponsor one that tells you to follow the damn directions, however I have never worked the steps with this sponsor all them years because I knew he would call me on my ****. Well now I need him to call me on my ****.

Anyway I got another sponsor two days ago and then low and behold who shows up at the Happy Hour Meeting, YEP my sponsor. After the meeting, he told me that he was sorry for not getting ahold of me but his wife left on a vacation, and his cell phone went with her, not only that but the night that he said that he would go through the steps with me his new laptop shut down completely, he had to get another one it was only a month old and he lost everything including my email address. I thought he was ignoring me.

So now instead of trying to talk with him in the mornings like I told someone I would do, I go get someone else and I really don't feel comfortable with him really. I mean he is a good guy but I don't know him and he don't know me. Then all day I am trying to control things, like telling people to introduce themselves before speaking. Yeah real control freak and it pisses me off that I just can not keep myself out of this crap. This has been bugging me for a few days now, like I have to always be in charge. Heck that is not good I know what happens when I am in charge I get ****** up. I am just so pissed at myself, I would think that I would grow up someday.

God how many lessons does it take!

I guess I am just making a mountain out of a mole hill! That isn't anything new either. I just get so dang tired of having to go through the same lessons over and over. Am I stupid? Ok don't answer that.

Better go starting to fill the effects of the shot here. I will see ya all tomorrow.

God Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know it is me.

[REZ]

Life on life's terms can be tough. Sometimes I can't reach people when I need help, but I can usually get to a meeting during the day, and my higher power is always available. Don't use, Hang in there. Things will get better, if you stay clean.

[michski]

((( Vic ))))

You are learning.. you are learning to recognize reality when it happens. So you saw something very important in yourself and that is that yourself is NOT that important. Good for you.. it's a tough one.

Explain yourself to both sponsors! Honesty is always the best policy, especially when it comes to recovery issues. If the old sponsor you want is available to work the steps with you when he can, then it's your choice, not a matter of mistaken circumstance.


Wishing you the best day possible in this best of all possible days!

[emmer]

I'll say a prayer for ya Vic. I'm on day 2

[aasharon90]

I wish i could have counted the many times ive placed my hands on the burner knowing good and well the darn thing is hot and it will burn me ....hmmmmmm talk about a slow learner here...lol Thank God I still have my hands to give u a pat on the back and a GREAT BIG HUG.... Now how does that feel?

Now rock on dude...