Just saw one of my old roommates - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Blake · 08-30-2006, 07:32 AM

I went to the gas station next to my office for my daily coffee/kispy kreme fix and I saw my old roommate, Buddha, geting gas at one of the pumps. He yelled my name and I waved at him and he smirked at me and flipped me off....I just continued into the store and bought my donuts.

It kinda pissed me off that he flipped me off, but I was glad that he payed at the pump and I didn't actually have to talk to the dude. Lets just say that our friendship (if you could call it that) ended on a sour note of me moving out of my house into my parrents untill everyone vacated my house and not answering the phone when he'd try to call and bitch at me. He left me a ton of voice mail over the first couple of months calling me a ***** and telling me how he was going to kick my ass and stuff like that...I just ignored it and eventually it went away. I haven't seen the dude in the last 18 months.

It brought up alot of bad memories for me. Laying on my couch, dopesick, waiting for our connection to come over, calling and getting the "i'll be there in 15 minutes" waiting another hour and calling again to get the same 15 minute response. Finally having our connection over and us buying a bunch of dope, crowding around the coffee table for the ritual of preparing the dope, doing it...laying back on the couch and letting the nothingness wash over me.......lather, rinse, repeat......

Remebering all that makes me very greatful for where I am today, but at the same time it makes my stomach turn and feel queasy. I never want to go back to that existance.

I wanted to go up to the dude and strike up a conversation, throwing in as many digs as I could about how good my life is now, about how I'm moving to new york in march, about how I hadn't done any dope in 18 months, about how I heard he was dishonorably discharged from the navy, about how I heard he got a girl pregnant in california and his baby was born addicted to crack, about how I heard that he was doing so well in california, asking him about why was he here if cali was so great ........but that's just the selfish, self centerd, low selfesteeme, looking for validation addict in me and today I don't have to listen to him. So I did the next right thing, I bought my donuts and coffee...looked out the window to see him gone and actually felt sorry for the dude.

windysan · 08-30-2006, 08:40 AM

I'm sure that poor ******* is still living the life. I feel sorry for him. Maybe he'll wake up one day.

Blake, you're doing great.

upanddownjj · 08-30-2006, 08:44 AM

Careful Blake - Your recovery is showing !!!!!!

Wow - what an experience !!!

Crashnburn · 08-30-2006, 08:52 AM

Quote:

I wanted to go up to the dude and strike up a conversation, throwing in as many digs as I could about how good my life is now, about how I'm moving to new york in march, about how I hadn't done any dope in 18 months, about how I heard he was dishonorably discharged from the navy, about how I heard he got a girl pregnant in california and his baby was born addicted to crack, about how I heard that he was doing so well in california, asking him about why was he here if cali was so great ........but that's just the selfish, self centerd, low selfesteeme, looking for validation addict in me and today I don't have to listen to him. So I did the next right thing, I bought my donuts and coffee...looked out the window to see him gone and actually felt sorry for the dude.

I've been kind of angry lately at some of my old friends..Trying to deal with that. It helps reading that someone else struggles with the same emotions.
You're right. I don't need the validation..Moving on..
There's an old saying..The best revenge is living well. Though, I can't remember who said it.

godsonmyside · 08-30-2006, 09:10 AM

Quote:

I never want to go back to that existance.

Just For Today you don't have to. Keep doing what your doing and you'll do well.

Peace,
Todd J.

KeepingHope · 08-30-2006, 10:11 AM

You did the right thing Blake, and congratulations for that! Many times Ive run into my old partying friends and some have been less than pleasant since I'm out of the circle. Its hard to bite your tongue but YOU DID IT! I usually try to remember that they are still sick, and I ask my HP to help them, because I, newly recovering, can not help them unless they want it.

Madalaina · 08-30-2006, 10:13 AM

Hey Blake!

I tip my hat to you, my friend. When the day comes that I see some of my "old friends" (especially the one that I told you about), I hope that my recovery will shine just as bright as yours does!

Hugs,
Alissa

08-30-2006, 07:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Blake I'm an addict. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Hyde Park, NY Posts: 1,202	Just saw one of my old roommates I went to the gas station next to my office for my daily coffee/kispy kreme fix and I saw my old roommate, Buddha, geting gas at one of the pumps. He yelled my name and I waved at him and he smirked at me and flipped me off....I just continued into the store and bought my donuts. It kinda pissed me off that he flipped me off, but I was glad that he payed at the pump and I didn't actually have to talk to the dude. Lets just say that our friendship (if you could call it that) ended on a sour note of me moving out of my house into my parrents untill everyone vacated my house and not answering the phone when he'd try to call and bitch at me. He left me a ton of voice mail over the first couple of months calling me a ***** and telling me how he was going to kick my ass and stuff like that...I just ignored it and eventually it went away. I haven't seen the dude in the last 18 months. It brought up alot of bad memories for me. Laying on my couch, dopesick, waiting for our connection to come over, calling and getting the "i'll be there in 15 minutes" waiting another hour and calling again to get the same 15 minute response. Finally having our connection over and us buying a bunch of dope, crowding around the coffee table for the ritual of preparing the dope, doing it...laying back on the couch and letting the nothingness wash over me.......lather, rinse, repeat...... Remebering all that makes me very greatful for where I am today, but at the same time it makes my stomach turn and feel queasy. I never want to go back to that existance. I wanted to go up to the dude and strike up a conversation, throwing in as many digs as I could about how good my life is now, about how I'm moving to new york in march, about how I hadn't done any dope in 18 months, about how I heard he was dishonorably discharged from the navy, about how I heard he got a girl pregnant in california and his baby was born addicted to crack, about how I heard that he was doing so well in california, asking him about why was he here if cali was so great ........but that's just the selfish, self centerd, low selfesteeme, looking for validation addict in me and today I don't have to listen to him. So I did the next right thing, I bought my donuts and coffee...looked out the window to see him gone and actually felt sorry for the dude.
	__________________ Warning: I'm a sick person so take any advice I may be spewing with a grain of salt, but it's what has worked for me, so far.

08-30-2006, 08:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
upanddownjj One Day At A Time Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: West Vancouver, BC Posts: 412	Careful Blake - Your recovery is showing !!!!!! Wow - what an experience !!!
	__________________ Honest, Openminded & Willing IT WORKS !! (Ch 5 Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous)

08-30-2006, 10:11 AM	#6 (permalink)
KeepingHope Surviving Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Finding, Faith Posts: 13	You did the right thing Blake, and congratulations for that! Many times Ive run into my old partying friends and some have been less than pleasant since I'm out of the circle. Its hard to bite your tongue but YOU DID IT! I usually try to remember that they are still sick, and I ask my HP to help them, because I, newly recovering, can not help them unless they want it.
	__________________ It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life that no man can sincerely try to help another, without helping himself. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson My head is like a bad neighborhood and I shouldn't go in there alone.

08-30-2006, 10:13 AM	#7 (permalink)
Madalaina Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: I don't even know! Posts: 322	I'm proud of you! Hey Blake! I tip my hat to you, my friend. When the day comes that I see some of my "old friends" (especially the one that I told you about), I hope that my recovery will shine just as bright as yours does! Hugs, Alissa

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08-30-2006, 08:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
windysan Large Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 2,699	I'm sure that poor ******* is still living the life. I feel sorry for him. Maybe he'll wake up one day. Blake, you're doing great.

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