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|08-20-2006, 05:12 AM||#1 (permalink)|
On The Bus
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Brattleboro, Vt.
Anyone Ever Stooped This Low?
I went to an Open House showing a couple of weeks ago and found myself snooping around in the medicine cabinet.
Well after 18 years of not drinking it appears another demon has arose inside myself called addiction.
Why would I be surprised? I always liked popping pills while I was drinking.
Is it possible I chose the wrong recovery program right from the start?
Do I need both?
I am confused.
Signature made by my son Alex.
|08-20-2006, 07:30 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2006
I think everyone to some degree or another is guilty of the mental relapse - the 'slip.' Synthetic painkillers were one of my DOC and early on in sobriety I found myself snooping in a medicine cabinet - "just wondering, just curious" - what would be there. I've talked to many others in AA and NA who have done the exact same thing you are describing when visiting somewhere.
I eventually had to move in with my dad who is on a full spectrum cocktail of painmeds and was struggling a bit - at certain times - battling that old mental obsession. I was told that had my higher power been sitting next to me (which he is in fact) when I was looking in the medicine cabinet - would I have still done it? Is it His will for me to do that sort of thing? Pretty easy answer. I'm grateful today that the mental obsession to drink and use has been lifted - but, as always - it's just a daily repreive. If I start letting up I'm gonna be snooping around places I shouldn't be - and odds are that if I do that enough one of them will lead to a relapse. Hope that helps - you are not unique!!
There is nothing more exhilarating in life than being shot at without result
|08-20-2006, 08:10 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: out there...
well Bozo ....
if you take the water ( h20) out of alcohol you wind up with ether.
that's a drug.
what most of us like to call addiction , as in "I was addicted to this or I was addicted to that" is the manifestation of a symptom of addiction.
Narcotics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women for whom drugs had become a problem.
The NA symbol is pretty cool Bozo.
it states in the explanation of the symbol
"The outer circle denotes a universal and total program that has room within it for all manifestations of the recovering person."
Another part of the literature says "your a member when you say you are"
And when I was using I used to rob people's medicine cabinets., shorted bags when I made the dope runs, yeah I stooped pretty low. Thinking never got me any painful consequences other than some guilt to deal with. It was my actions that got me some ugly consequences.
|08-20-2006, 08:49 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Blog Entries: 1
Gooch puts things so well. I don't have to say anything. lmao.
Most of us have stooped pretty low to satisfy our disease. No matter what it was we were looking for.
the thoughts will come, but how you react to those thoughts is what counts.
I came into this program to save my a**
and found out it was attached to my soul. --
|08-20-2006, 09:40 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Congratulations on being honest with yourself and making a step in the right direction. AA is a great program, but it really only focuses on one drug--alcohol. I have known many alcoholics who thought they could stop drinking but would continue smoking pot or taking pills, only to find out that was not a good idea. For me, I like the NA message because it focuses on addiction. But I have known many addicts who just go to AA meetings. So, whatever works best for you.
|08-20-2006, 08:35 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Clean and Fabulous
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lexington, KY
Word up my fellow recovering addicts!
Thank you for your honesty. The foundation of our recovery is built upon this priniciple, and without it we cannot recover. For me, I find that my disease will manifest itself with any substance/thing/person outside of myself. I would switch around from substance to substance, inevitably winding up at my DOC, which was 'more'. One of the big changes I made when I got clean was to STOP CHECKING PRESCRIPTION BOTTLES. I get to the point where I blur my eyes and look right past them. I can't know what's in them, I don't want to know. Another big factor I see is that they are not mine. It is as wrong for me to steal as it is to use, both severely affect my practicing of spiritual principles.
As far as choosing a fellowship, recovery is available to you as long as you work a program. I prefer NA because my problem was not alchohol, it was Cass because Cass is an addict who suffers from an incurable disease called addiction. Some people relate better to those who shared their DOC.
Either way, I hope that you find recovery and continue practicing a program of abstinence!
Love and good vibes,
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
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