Step 1

[mrjive55]

I worked Step 1 with 2 different sponsors. The basic part of it was that I am powerless over drugs/myaddiction. The first time I worked it my sponsor said to keep in mind that I was also powerless over people/places/things. I was talking to a friend the other day in the program who said step 1, to him, means that he is powerless over himself. PErsonally, I can get with the whole being powerless over drugs/my addiction. ( I wouldn't be in NA if I wasn't) The part about being powerless over other things is quite different. In terms of being pwoerless over yourself, I don't even know what that means. I'd like to get other people's thoughts on this.

[Gmoney]

I'm not sure, but I believe your friend was trying to say that he is his problem - even the literature tells us that - and I've even shared many times that my disease "lives" between my ears. Although some of us tend to view addiction simplistically as something external (like drugs), I'm willing to bet that if we could control our obsession, compulsion and total self-centeredness (what addiction is), we would've never come to NA in the first place.

Here's something I wrote in another 1st Step thread in this forum:

Originally Posted by Gmoney

When I first came to NA and got involved with a sponsor, my primary concern was learning how to stay clean. I’m willing to bet I wasn’t alone in that regard. But, it was around the time I got my 1st Step assignment that I found out that drugs were just a symptom of my disease and that the admissions of powerlessness and unmanageability applied to so many other aspects of my life. Not only was I powerless and unmanageable when it came to drugs, I was the same regarding almost everything else.

The First Step, in the Basic Text, tells us pretty plainly, “We are powerless not only over drugs, but over our addiction as well.” And if we were to take a look at our 1st Step in How It Works, we’ll find, “…when we first come into the program, our drug addiction is how we identify with each other and the program. As we continue in our recovery, we will see how these aspects of our addiction (obsession, compulsion and self-centeredness) can manifest themselves in many areas of our lives.”

Powerlessness does not mean hopelessness, helplessness, or incapability. It simply means that I have limitations, boundaries and restrictions that I must try to stay aware of. Just because my life has gotten better as a result of abstinence from drug use (and certain other behaviors), does not mean I can assume total control of anything.

It is the denial of those limitations, boundaries and restrictions that bring about unmanageability and consequences in my life. If I can’t control my addiction, how can I control my life? Remember that question from Step One? It’s amazing how many of us forget that one. The reality is that there are many powers much greater than myself that directly influence and “control” aspects of my life that I can’t begin to understand. This awareness is humbling.

Although I have the ability to make better choices and decisions today because of staying clean and doing the work set forth in the Steps of NA (“powered-up“, if you will), I don’t fool myself into thinking that I’ve reached a point of being “powerful” or no longer suffering from the disease of addiction. Although it was desperation and drug addiction that brought me to the rooms of NA, it was the honest admission (and acceptance) of being an addict that lead to my initial surrender. The paradox of “surrendering to win” still applies to me, even with years of clean time. I’m still recovering from the disease of addiction, I’m still in need of help because I can’t do it alone, and I’m still powerless.

[mrjive55]

Gmoney, what are some of the other things our addiction can make us powerless over? I know the literature talks about gambling, sex. Personally I had a problem with eating too much when I first got clean. I imagine, their is a lot more to it than that though.

[Gmoney]

Originally Posted by mrjive55

Gmoney, what are some of the other things our addiction can make us powerless over? I know the literature talks about gambling, sex. Personally I had a problem with eating too much when I first got clean. I imagine, their is a lot more to it than that though.

Our program tells us that anytime we find ourselves becoming obsessive, acting compulsively or doing something to avoid feeling what we feel, we need to review our 1st Step. I've been around for a while now, and I've heard members share about all types of ways that addiction has manifested in their lives.

Shopping, working, exercising, video games, the internet...you name it. The problem is...that these things are just ways in which we escape...and the core of it all is our self-centeredness (wanting what we want, NOW!!!).

There was a time when I had it bad for buying sneakers. I'd tell myself I'd only get one pair....get home and realize I've bought three. My closet would have racks of sneakers (aprox. 60 pairs) and I'd justify buying them because I could afford it. My sponsor would ask me if I really needed that many and my answers were always plausible. His response, "One is too many and a thousand is never enough."

I've gotten better. Today I have 20 pairs.

[Threshold]

I have used all manner of odd things to build up a "fortress" between my terrified addict self and a crumbling sense of security.

I hoard/collect things from kitchen appliances to ball bearings. I spend hours doing internet surveys, or picking apart the behavior or coworkers. Anything that I put between myself and reality is a potential addiction.

It's 90 degrees out and in the last week I've gotten two new hoodies to stand between and the big bad world. Think those are going to protect me from the sad feelings over my divorce? I'll mull that over while I have another dish of ice cream....sigh

If I am using it so I don't have to deal with reality...it's an addiction.

[sugarbear1]

I didn't fully grasp step one until I moved forward with the other steps.

Do you admit you are a drug addict?

Do you fully accept you are a drug addict?

Does your way of dealing with life work?

Move to step 2. Action.