I want to do this.... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Seansavedme · 06-14-2011, 04:26 PM

Hello, my name is Jen, I am a 33 year old mother of 4 boys, I have a wonderful marraige, and the perfect husband. But on and off for the past 10 years I have been addicted to pain pills. I have been truly addicted for the past 3 years. I would find reasons to "need" them, I would lie, I would buy, I would do almost anything for them. My husband has known, and has tried to help get me clean before, but it didn't last long. I ended up having to have surgery, and you guessed it, back on the pain pills. It has put us in bad situations financially and emotionally. I know he loves me with all his heart, and he is by my side helping me. I have just gotten to a point where the addiction has started to become obvious to other people. I know in my heart I need to stop, I need to quit. I really feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel I am missing out on my children growing up, because it's one big blur, because I am high. I cry, and cry, and cry, and I never can figure out why I have done this to myself. I just really want to make it, I really want to beat this. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, so going to meetings, is almost impossible. I have been reading things on here for days, before I signed up, guess just wanted to make sure it was what I was looking for. And hopefully with the support of people here, and my wonderful husband, I can beat this. I have too.

**Dee74** · 06-14-2011, 04:42 PM

Welcome to SR seansavedme.

Have you called your local NA office about meetings? You may find that it's not as impossible as you think

We also have a main Substance Abuse forum and a Newcomers forum here. I encourage you to check out both of those as well for more support

it's good to have you with us

D

Threshold · 06-17-2011, 07:32 PM

I live in a real small town too, no meetings within more than an hour's drive. I DO have a sponsor, which makes a HUGE difference, and I did live in a city with many meetings the first six months of my recovery. THAT was a huge help as well, but this forum is now my meeting. I come every day.

I encourage you to find the nearest meeting, and get there at least occasionally, so you can form a phone network, get a sponsor and have a recovery "home". Those connections are a huge help.

You may be somewhat isolated geographically but you are NOT alone. NA has literature aimed at the geographically isolated addict. And save up some money to attend the next NA convention in your region. When I was floundering in recovery I drove 5 hours to a convention and slept in my car so I could spend a few days in an atmosphere of recovery. Many people shared their stories with me and listened to mine.

The resources are out there and you have already found some of them. A lot of the literature is readable online too!

Hope to see more of you and congratulations on your new recovery.

Latte · 06-17-2011, 07:50 PM

I'm so glad you are here. Welcome!

I hope to see you continue to post.

There is always support here.

eaglette · 06-17-2011, 08:04 PM

Welcome to SR!

Missybuns · 06-17-2011, 08:40 PM

Welcome!

sm1975 · 07-31-2011, 11:12 AM

You are definately not alone. My situation sounds identical and here I am today hoping for the same thing. Something has to be better than nothing right? Goodluck

TiffanyWesley · 08-14-2011, 09:29 PM

I also had a very similar situation and I'm clean and sober today, Recovery is not impossible. I do however suggest that you talk to a doctor before trying to quit cold turkey and they can usually offer alot of help with the withdraw, God will always be with you, your never alone I thought I was a the weakest minded and bodied person around and would never be able to get clean. Anyone can do it no matter how bad an addict you are there are people that are so much worse and have recovered and live a very happy life. I really think that if you could make just a couple meetings and find someone that could help you things would go alot easier what is a few hours when the rest of your life depends on it and your kids lives. I have never seen and addict that retires and lives in a house on the hill it's not reality we lose everything that's reality. i was so scared to go to a meeting because im so shy but it was not bad at all you will grow to love it try to get to one for your family's sake

TiffanyWesley · 08-14-2011, 09:41 PM

I also had a very similar situation and I'm clean and sober today, Recovery is not impossible. I do however suggest that you talk to a doctor before trying to quit cold turkey and they can usually offer alot of help with the withdraw, God will always be with you, your never alone I thought I was a the weakest minded and bodied person around and would never be able to get clean. Anyone can do it no matter how bad an addict you are there are people that are so much worse and have recovered and live a very happy life. I really think that if you could make just a couple meetings and find someone that could help you things would go alot easier what is a few hours when the rest of your life depends on it and your kids lives. I have never seen and addict that retires and lives in a house on the hill it's not reality we lose everything that's reality. i was so scared to go to a meeting because im so shy but it was not bad at all you will grow to love it try to get to one for your family's sake

r1easy · 08-31-2011, 10:30 PM

I would like to say welcome as well, I myself am in day 7 off the percs and oxy's its been a rough week, really rough but it was worth all of it.. I truly hope it works out for you and I am around at least once everyday checking in and always willing to listen please feel free to talk this place has been great for me and the people amazing and supportive, nobody should have to face something like this alone..

Gmoney · 09-03-2011, 12:42 PM

welcome

shivvy · 12-06-2012, 11:38 AM

Hi,
I am new on here also and my situation is identical to yours also. I am addicted to pain meds and i fight with myself everyday as i dont want to take them anymore. No one knows i take them and no i think my friends and family are noticing im sure. Its morphine pills i have been taking and i am trying to wean myself off them as i tried cold turkey and lasted 5 days... insomnia, sweats, anxiety... you name it, i had it. I feel so weak but i swear today is the beginning of a new me!!!! My son deserves his fun mummy back!!! If we support each other, we can do it. Anyone can pm me if you ever feel weak and we can help each other x

06-14-2011, 04:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Seansavedme Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 1	I want to do this.... Hello, my name is Jen, I am a 33 year old mother of 4 boys, I have a wonderful marraige, and the perfect husband. But on and off for the past 10 years I have been addicted to pain pills. I have been truly addicted for the past 3 years. I would find reasons to "need" them, I would lie, I would buy, I would do almost anything for them. My husband has known, and has tried to help get me clean before, but it didn't last long. I ended up having to have surgery, and you guessed it, back on the pain pills. It has put us in bad situations financially and emotionally. I know he loves me with all his heart, and he is by my side helping me. I have just gotten to a point where the addiction has started to become obvious to other people. I know in my heart I need to stop, I need to quit. I really feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel I am missing out on my children growing up, because it's one big blur, because I am high. I cry, and cry, and cry, and I never can figure out why I have done this to myself. I just really want to make it, I really want to beat this. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, so going to meetings, is almost impossible. I have been reading things on here for days, before I signed up, guess just wanted to make sure it was what I was looking for. And hopefully with the support of people here, and my wonderful husband, I can beat this. I have too.

06-14-2011, 04:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,447	Welcome to SR seansavedme. Have you called your local NA office about meetings? You may find that it's not as impossible as you think We also have a main Substance Abuse forum and a Newcomers forum here. I encourage you to check out both of those as well for more support it's good to have you with us D __________________

06-17-2011, 07:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Latte I love my Coastie and 44 MLB's Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 2,101	I'm so glad you are here. Welcome! I hope to see you continue to post. There is always support here. __________________ I am so thankful for my sobriety Dios me da la Sernidad Para acceptar las cosas que no puedo cambiar La fuerza para cambiar las que si puedo y la Sabidura para reconocer la diferencia

09-03-2011, 12:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
Gmoney Evolving Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York State Posts: 2,927	welcome __________________ "We are never forced into relapse. We are given a choice. Relapse is never an accident." - Basic Text, 5th Ed.

06-17-2011, 07:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
Threshold Grateful but still smarting Join Date: May 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,209 Blog Entries: 24	I live in a real small town too, no meetings within more than an hour's drive. I DO have a sponsor, which makes a HUGE difference, and I did live in a city with many meetings the first six months of my recovery. THAT was a huge help as well, but this forum is now my meeting. I come every day. I encourage you to find the nearest meeting, and get there at least occasionally, so you can form a phone network, get a sponsor and have a recovery "home". Those connections are a huge help. You may be somewhat isolated geographically but you are NOT alone. NA has literature aimed at the geographically isolated addict. And save up some money to attend the next NA convention in your region. When I was floundering in recovery I drove 5 hours to a convention and slept in my car so I could spend a few days in an atmosphere of recovery. Many people shared their stories with me and listened to mine. The resources are out there and you have already found some of them. A lot of the literature is readable online too! Hope to see more of you and congratulations on your new recovery.

06-17-2011, 08:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
eaglette Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 362	Welcome to SR!

06-17-2011, 08:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Missybuns Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,485	Welcome!

07-31-2011, 11:12 AM	#7 (permalink)
sm1975 Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Merrimack, NH Posts: 2	You are definately not alone. My situation sounds identical and here I am today hoping for the same thing. Something has to be better than nothing right? Goodluck

08-14-2011, 09:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
TiffanyWesley Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Liberty, Ky Posts: 12	I also had a very similar situation and I'm clean and sober today, Recovery is not impossible. I do however suggest that you talk to a doctor before trying to quit cold turkey and they can usually offer alot of help with the withdraw, God will always be with you, your never alone I thought I was a the weakest minded and bodied person around and would never be able to get clean. Anyone can do it no matter how bad an addict you are there are people that are so much worse and have recovered and live a very happy life. I really think that if you could make just a couple meetings and find someone that could help you things would go alot easier what is a few hours when the rest of your life depends on it and your kids lives. I have never seen and addict that retires and lives in a house on the hill it's not reality we lose everything that's reality. i was so scared to go to a meeting because im so shy but it was not bad at all you will grow to love it try to get to one for your family's sake

08-14-2011, 09:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
TiffanyWesley Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Liberty, Ky Posts: 12	I also had a very similar situation and I'm clean and sober today, Recovery is not impossible. I do however suggest that you talk to a doctor before trying to quit cold turkey and they can usually offer alot of help with the withdraw, God will always be with you, your never alone I thought I was a the weakest minded and bodied person around and would never be able to get clean. Anyone can do it no matter how bad an addict you are there are people that are so much worse and have recovered and live a very happy life. I really think that if you could make just a couple meetings and find someone that could help you things would go alot easier what is a few hours when the rest of your life depends on it and your kids lives. I have never seen and addict that retires and lives in a house on the hill it's not reality we lose everything that's reality. i was so scared to go to a meeting because im so shy but it was not bad at all you will grow to love it try to get to one for your family's sake

08-31-2011, 10:30 PM	#10 (permalink)
r1easy Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: state of washington Posts: 12	I would like to say welcome as well, I myself am in day 7 off the percs and oxy's its been a rough week, really rough but it was worth all of it.. I truly hope it works out for you and I am around at least once everyday checking in and always willing to listen please feel free to talk this place has been great for me and the people amazing and supportive, nobody should have to face something like this alone..

12-06-2012, 11:38 AM	#12 (permalink)
shivvy Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Scotland Posts: 29	Hi, I am new on here also and my situation is identical to yours also. I am addicted to pain meds and i fight with myself everyday as i dont want to take them anymore. No one knows i take them and no i think my friends and family are noticing im sure. Its morphine pills i have been taking and i am trying to wean myself off them as i tried cold turkey and lasted 5 days... insomnia, sweats, anxiety... you name it, i had it. I feel so weak but i swear today is the beginning of a new me!!!! My son deserves his fun mummy back!!! If we support each other, we can do it. Anyone can pm me if you ever feel weak and we can help each other x

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