For me - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

eureka · 11-12-2009, 11:18 AM

I love this step because I feel like it is always the easiest for me.:praying

Threshold · 11-13-2009, 02:15 PM

I am struggling with it mightily. I admit my powerlessness over my addiction, but I seem to still prefer that than to put myself into the hands of "god"..

I feel like I'd rather die in my hopelessness than take a step toward hope and get smacked down again.

I know that this last addiction I am hanging on to (anorexia) is merely an illusion of control, but it's like an imaginary friend. If I give it up, I have nothing, and I do not trust that anything is there to catch me...I feel that if there IS a HP...it has it out for me, I'd rather rot in my addiction than put myself into it's vengeful hands..

I'm having a rough day....can you tell?

I didn't realize how strongly I felt about this, how angry and terrified until today when I was working step one in regards to anorexia. I hit a wall.

I am not using. I am letting Sobriety call the shots...Sobriety is the only HP I trust right now.

11-12-2009, 11:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
eureka Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 83 Blog Entries: 8	For me I love this step because I feel like it is always the easiest for me.:praying

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

11-13-2009, 02:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Threshold Grateful but still smarting Join Date: May 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 935 Blog Entries: 8	I am struggling with it mightily. I admit my powerlessness over my addiction, but I seem to still prefer that than to put myself into the hands of "god".. I feel like I'd rather die in my hopelessness than take a step toward hope and get smacked down again. I know that this last addiction I am hanging on to (anorexia) is merely an illusion of control, but it's like an imaginary friend. If I give it up, I have nothing, and I do not trust that anything is there to catch me...I feel that if there IS a HP...it has it out for me, I'd rather rot in my addiction than put myself into it's vengeful hands.. I'm having a rough day....can you tell? I didn't realize how strongly I felt about this, how angry and terrified until today when I was working step one in regards to anorexia. I hit a wall. I am not using. I am letting Sobriety call the shots...Sobriety is the only HP I trust right now.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)