Step 1

[pinkgurl87]

Step 1- I know that I am powerless over my addiction but sometimes I have a hard time excepting it. I start to think that I'm not addicted. It's like I start getting some clean time and all a sudden it feels like I'm not addicted anymore. I know I have to be careful because that's minimizing and a form of denial. I tend to compare myself to other people and think I'm not that bad, but as one of my group leaders said. "I'm not that bad yet." Maybe not yet but I could get their. I seems to me I'm still stuck on step one. I know that drugs have just lead to chaos and hurt and pain. Yet it is hard to admit that I am powerless over my addiction. I like being in control. Though addiction is a false sense of control because you feel like you are controlling your feelings but in reality the drugs are controlling you. I guess I need to completely admit and surrender to God my addiction, I know that's step 2 and 3. Though how do I totally surrender if I haven't totally got step 1. Need to figure step one before I move on to the other steps. I know my life became unmanageable I had to drop out of school because of drugs, had to go inpatient treatment because of drugs yet part of me still thinks I'm ok and not addicted. I'm really struggling with this and realizing that I am not in control that I am powerless.

[sickboy63385]

Hi! I am new here, 37 days sober. This theread is great, I totally thought I had my 1st step down before I came in the doors, but it is so much deeper than just the aknowledgement of my powerlessness, but full realization... WOW!

[Gmoney]

Yet it is hard to admit that I am powerless over my addiction.

Pinkgurl87,

After reading your post, I'm led to believe that you're viewing "addiction" in a singular perspective. In NA, our 1st step says we are powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanageable...it doesn't say we are powerless over just drugs. Maybe if you were to look at what addiction actual is, you'd be better able to accept it. I won't re-write what I shared in post #6 in this thread, but it's important to remember that step one tells us that not only are we powerless over drugs, but we're powerless over the disease of addiction as well. The literature says we have to admit this fact in order to recover.

Though how do I totally surrender if I haven't totally got step 1.

Having a sponsor who has experience in working this step helps. Reading the literature and seeking the ES&H of other addicts is also helpful. Have you tried using the NA Step Working Guides?

[hellonurse]

this is all fresh to me everyone else seems way ahead of me. I am only a a week sober. I'm just starting the recovery process and wanted to attend some meetings in addition to counseling. unfortunately i work in the addictions field and live in a small town. therefore the anonymous part of NA doesn't really apply to me! I don't know how to go about doing this as i really want the support of actual meetings as well as the wonderful opportunities this site seems to hold. any ideas? as for this first step it is the first time i have ever actually found out what the steps are and to admit that i was powerless is going to be a very big challenge. I am carrying extreme guilt for my actions while using. that i decided to ruin my life and that of my family and employer....this is gonna take some serious thinking, which would mean putting my books down long enough to hear my own thoughts ( I think I read to dissociate from what is happening in my life right now, i read a novel a day, pretty much!)

[Gmoney]

Welcome Hellonurse,

Congrats on your 1 week clean.

I don't know how to go about doing this as i really want the support of actual meetings as well as the wonderful opportunities this site seems to hold. any ideas?

As a member of NA who has benefitted from the same simple suggestions that have been passed down from member to member, sponsor to sponsee...I offer you this:

1] A meeting a day for 90 days is a good idea.
2] Get an NA Basic Text (and read it).
3] Join a home group.
4] Get a sponsor.
5] Work the Steps.
6] Get involved in service.
7] Dont use no matter what & keep coming back.

The NA forum here at SR is a great place to interact with other recovering members of NA, but to get the most out of what NA has to offer, it is best to attend face-2-face meetings and to get a sponsor to guide you through the steps. The 12 steps are the program and the program is the solution. IMO, at one week clean your main focus should be staying clean. Do yourself a favor and go to meetings and get a sponsor. Your sponsor will then assist you in understanding and application of the principles of the program.

Easy does it & First things First...

[weakandpowerles]

we are truly weak and powerless , over our addiction but not our disease it can be aressted by following simple guide lines and sugestions through the program of n a

im 17 days back of a year run i need help i am truly power less havent gone through this step with my sponser yet been calling on a daily basis ------ i feel better when im sleeping please help me

[rjking1983]

I joined this sit today after I finally had enough...I stayed up all night, then called in sick to work...then to feel better I went and bought more. The money I needed for my cell phone was used to keep me up...what a waste of $100. I just pray I can stay clean.

[Grateful Bill]

No Kiddin', paraphrasing is OK from my perspective. It makes it easier to think of whenm I run the 1st step through my mind and in my actions. I NEED to think about this all the time. I managed to be blessed w8 years 6/5/2009. I need to always remember I am powerless- my life is unmanagable,,period, not two parts to step one, it is one sentnece, (as my 1st sponsor told me CONSTANTLY), my life is STILL unmanagable even though it's been a LONG time since my butt's been oin fire When I fail to recognize this, Bill takes over and he's a crappy manager He has to be fired once,, not rehired!!! Anyhow, glad we are talking about 1st step, there are 11 more and this is the first step to an amazing life,,,far beyond our wildest dreams ,it fer sure works when we work it

[alternateplan]

I hear what you are saying now i would like to honor admitting it everyday. After that what should i do as soon as i awake, this is where my problem begins

[Missybuns]

Alternateplan,

Look for your local NA meetings and start going to as many meetings as you can.

I went to as many as I could and learned how to stay clean the NA way...so far so good.

I got a sponsor and began learning how to apply the principles within the 12 steps to the best of my ability.

I spent all my waking hours educating myself on addiction and actively participated in my personal recovery one step at a time, one day at a time.

It's been working for me for more than three years now.

Only you know if you are truly done.

Find other recovering addicts to mentor you.

Peace,
Missy

[BassFamily]

Originally Posted by Gmoney

Pinkgurl87,

After reading your post, I'm led to believe that you're viewing "addiction" in a singular perspective. In NA, our 1st step says we are powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanageable...it doesn't say we are powerless over just drugs. Maybe if you were to look at what addiction actual is, you'd be better able to accept it. I won't re-write what I shared in post #6 in this thread, but it's important to remember that step one tells us that not only are we powerless over drugs, but we're powerless over the disease of addiction as well. The literature says we have to admit this fact in order to recover.



Having a sponsor who has experience in working this step helps. Reading the literature and seeking the ES&H of other addicts is also helpful. Have you tried using the NA Step Working Guides?

i need a sponsor to help me work NA STEPS I NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO SOME TIMES ABOUT MY RECOVERY THIS TIME I WANT TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO AS YEARS OF RECOVERY I NEED THAT IN MY LIFE TO STAY ALIVE I HAVE DISEASE OF ADDICTION I NEED SOME HELP SO. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME WITH A SPONSOR TO WORK NA STEP WORKING GUIDES AND IN NEED OF A SPONSOR WITH YEARS OF RECOVERY TIME PLEASE HELP THANK YOU blbassga

[BassFamily]

Originally Posted by Gmoney

Pinkgurl87,

After reading your post, I'm led to believe that you're viewing "addiction" in a singular perspective. In NA, our 1st step says we are powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanageable...it doesn't say we are powerless over just drugs. Maybe if you were to look at what addiction actual is, you'd be better able to accept it. I won't re-write what I shared in post #6 in this thread, but it's important to remember that step one tells us that not only are we powerless over drugs, but we're powerless over the disease of addiction as well. The literature says we have to admit this fact in order to recover.



Having a sponsor who has experience in working this step helps. Reading the literature and seeking the ES&H of other addicts is also helpful. Have you tried using the NA Step Working Guides?

i need a sponsor to help me work NA STEPS I NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO SOME TIMES ABOUT MY RECOVERY THIS TIME I WANT TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO AS YEARS OF RECOVERY I NEED THAT IN MY LIFE TO STAY ALIVE I HAVE DISEASE OF ADDICTION I NEED SOME HELP SO. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME WITH A SPONSOR TO WORK NA STEP WORKING GUIDES AND IN NEED OF A SPONSOR WITH YEARS OF RECOVERY TIME PLEASE HELP THANK YOU blbassga THANK YOU MISSYBUNS I FEEL BETTER ABOUT MESSAGE FROM YOU IT HELP ME UNDERSTAND I CAN MAKE IN MY MINE I CAN DO THIS AND BE FREE AND BE IN MY RIGHT MINE YES I LIKE GET HIGH BUT IT IS KILLING ME AND MY FAMILY I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU

[Missybuns]

Bassfamily,

You are welcome.
First thing is first even before you start your step work. First thing is to not use...no matter what.

See, at meetings is where we find a sponsor and get phone numbers of others who know how to stay clean.

1 don't use
2 pay attention

it does seem you are paying attention to what we are saying....so keep it going.

Do you know how to locate meetings near you? We can help with that if you like.
If you can navigate www.NA.org - the website for the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous you can find a meeting near you. If the websites are not listing them.....let me know I can help you find your Regional Office and they have the current schedules, we can call there and ask them or they may even send you one if you just ask them!

Peace,
Missy

[Jazzy777]

I have been addicted to percocet since 2007. I now take 150 10/325 mg pills every month, which I get from my pain management doctor. I had an MRI done, which showed extensive nerve and muscle damage in my back, plus I have arthritis in my knees. I started out taking the pills as prescribed, but you know the story...before I knew it I was taking more and more and more, and now I find myself lost in a sea of pills.

My life is no longer mine anymore. All I want to do is take these pills. I can't even get out of bed in the morning before I take a pill. I am so ashamed at my behavior, and I want my life back.

I'm so glad to have discovered this site with people who have been where I am at now. My next doctor's appointment is January 18th, and of course, instead of taking 5 pills per day as prescribed, I will be down to taking 2 a day, because I will have used more than I was supposed to.

I did a cold-turkey withdrawal for 5 days back in September 2009, and it was the worse thing I have ever been through in my life. It was so bad that instead of me completing it, I called the doctor to change my appointment so I could come in earlier because I had not had one pill in five days. I was so disappointed in myself, because I believe I would be well into recovery if I had not given up.

Tapering off does not work; I know the only way is to go cold-turkey. I am just so afraid of how it feels that I don't want to go through it again. Please pray for me...Love you all.

[cazbah]

Glad to hear your clean, but how long did it take till you stopped shivering and sweating? I cant handle it? thanks x

[AmpGuy]

Originally Posted by cazbah

Glad to hear your clean, but how long did it take till you stopped shivering and sweating? I cant handle it? thanks x

I hear ya there! This sucks really bad! You know, I read step one and say, "my life is only out of control when I do not have my relief for my pain". But then sometimes I wonder how much is really pain. You know, before I ran out things were going fine for me. The 2 pills of Hydrocodone equaling 10 mg (not much) made it so that I was able sleep well and have a great day when I woke up. Other people even noticed when I haven't had a any pain pills the night before. I have been taking them for 2 years now. Every night. I am at this point because I ran out and can't get anymore. I don't want to ask family anymore and they will not give me any at the Medstop as they think I am a seeker. I feel that I am not. I just need them because of my amputation. But, then again, do I? I just don't know. I do know this, the withdrawals are not fun so far. It has been two days now. I don't know that I can do this!

[sassyslife]

Hello Im a recovering meth addict< I have a question. If someone is sick pysically for example, I have MRSA in my right hip whitch is artificial. I have two ruptured disc in my back so make a long story short Im disabled. My Dr. has me on lortab and antidepressants Im 42 yrs old. The only drug that I had a problem with wqs meth and ive been clean for nine months after 7 years of everyday use,it almost killed me. But can I consider myself as being clean as long as my meds are perscribed?

[Missybuns]

Sassy,
Only you can make that assessment. Only you know your motivations for taking any addictive or habit forming medications...until you share that with anyone. Certainly you and your doctor can determine the medical necessity between the two of you. Getting a second opinion in addition to your doctors is never a bad idea either. Your recovery is your responsibility. Hopefully your doctor knows you are giving a shot at recovery...and that it's not your first try.

I am a recovering addict. Something I have learned about addiction is that my body does not know whether a drug/substance is "prescribed" or not...it just experiences the substance directly. Any time I consider any sort of medications for any reason I check my motivations carefully to be sure justifications or rationalizations are not motivating my behavior. I discuss it with my doctor (who know's Im in recovery) and I also discuss it with my sponsor and other mentors in recovery.

It's your call to make. Upon asking this question here today...seek within your own heart and you shall find what you know is clean for you.

If you have not read "In times of illness" or "Medications and NA" published by Narcotics Anonymous...they'd be good literature items to check out.

Great question,
Missy

[LetsGoJets]

Originally Posted by YouveGotStyleKi

The greatest thing I learned about Steps 1 through 3...

Step 1: I can't.
Step 2: He can.
Step 3: I'll let him.

Please dont take this personally, but I have heard this so many times and it falls under one of the most arrogant things we can say..."i'll let him"-- how nice that we will "let Him"

Instead of "letting him" i think following Step 3 with action (Steps 4-9) is better, because we can let him all we want, if we are not willing to follow through on our decision we are destined to slip.

[Catt1]

GMoney, I would like to say thank you for sharing your experience! I'm a recovering cocaine/crack addict with 7 years sobriety from ALL substances started out in NA and then found the rooms of CA (were I'm from anyway) to be more of a community. Anyway I left the rooms a few years ago, could never find a good sponsor to teach me how to do the work even though I attempted to go through the steps 2 times with 2 different sponsors. What I have read on this page alone makes more sense to me than anything I've heard in a long time I hope to find someone that knows the work as well as you do, to teach me so that I too can stay clean. I did have a relapse after going through two major reconstructive surgeries on both feet and legs and surviving meningitis (yes surviving as I was in serious condition) this past May, after all the narcotic pain meds doc's had me on its no wonder that I got hooked. Anyway I cold turkey kicked over the weekend in hopes that I can refind myself as I once did through recovery and working the steps. Thanks again for keeping it real!

[Hopeless7]

My question will be Do you have to do step one before quiting the addiction or before. Is Step 1 the first process of wanting to be clean, or is there something else?


I was told there are no stupid question cept the ones you dont ask, I feel these are stupid question but ima ask anyways.

[Gmoney]

Originally Posted by Hopeless7

My question will be Do you have to do step one before quiting the addiction or before. Is Step 1 the first process of wanting to be clean, or is there something else?

In Narcotics Anonymous we view addiction as a disease that involves much more than the use of drugs, so when I hear folks ask about "quitting the addiction", I understand that question is really asking, "quitting the drugs?"

With that said, I'd say that in order to truly "work" the first step one would have to stop using the drug. With our minds clouded by drugs, it would seem fairly difficult to break through the layers of denial or rationalization to get to the honesty and surrender required for step one. I'm sure that there are those who would disagree with me, and in some other programs I've heard it suggested that step work can be started while still using. Here's what NA literature says:

"We realize, however, that we cannot begin this process unless we stop using drugs. Total abstinence from all drugs is the only way we can begin to overcome our addiction." ~ IWHW, pg. 10

"The first step to recovery is to stop using." - Basic Text, pg. 52

I could offer more from my personal experience (and some opinions), but I believe NA says it best. We go to meetings and stop using. We get a sponsor and a home group. We read the literature and listen in meetings...and we work the steps. It's a process.

Is Step 1 the first process of wanting to be clean, or is there something else?

Ahhhh...now you're talking about desire. An addict's desire (wanting to be clean) is something that cannot be measured by others or any external circumstance. I can tell you from my own experience that there were many, many times that I wanted to be clean (especially when I ran out of dope or money!!)...but I wasn't anywhere close to admitting complete defeat, surrendering or getting honest with myself. NA tells us that it is desperation that brings us to NA. IMO, recovery is a process just like relapse and it has a starting point. For many of us, that starting point is when we've exhausted all attempts to control our addiction (which opens our minds to the concept of powerlessness), become desperate enough to admit we cannot do it alone (honesty) and become willing to allow others to show us how to do it. Our desire is demonstrated WITHIN by what we do.

Hope that answers your questions.

G

[Hopeless7]

Wow. Finding a sponsor is going to be hard, I dont trust know one. God helps me in areas that other wont, or cant take your pick. Thanks that did help alot. Im at a week and I thought it was going to be easier, but today I felt like drinking more than usual. These withdraws are killing me these, dang headache aint helping. I dont know why I just told you that but thats for your input, ill try and get the NA book

[Gmoney]

Glad I could help. Try your best to not use and hang in there. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better...but it does get better when we don't use. Getting a sponsor is only as hard as you make it (unless there's no one available). Trust is an issue with a lot of us, but building a relationship with a sponsor isn't something we do overnight...we take baby steps. Recovery is a journey and you'll need a guide...just listen in meetings and I'm sure you'll find someone you can trust.

Best wishes.
G

[ecosse]

Originally Posted by Doug

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Am i reading this wrong, but if we are powerless over our addictions, then doesnt that signify there is no hope? Lacking power...in the moment maybe. But not overall surely?