I am very depressed.

[paramedic9742]

Hi all thought i would share how i feel> I am so depressed its all i can do to leave the house I feel myself getting worse everyday. Recently i have stopped smoking and i am a recovering hydroccodne addict its almost been one month. I have lost a child to murder and a husband who drowned in the past 8 yrs. I dont think that i have ever felt so out of it like i do right now i have been on paxil and other drugs like zoloft that actually made me suicidal so i stopped taking them. This is taking over my life well it has taken over my life. The only time i leave the house is to go to work and that is very much a struggle. I dont think my kids know me anymore because like when i was on hydro i stayed in the bedroom all day and night. Well i am back to the bedroom again while my husband is taking care of the kids. Also i have severe insomnia I dont know what to do. I am going to make a doctors appt and see if he can help me. I am so scared of anti depressants because of my past experiences with the side effects. I really feel as if i am losing my mind right now. I cant think straight at all and i cant concentrate. When i was in rehab i was diagnosed with major depression. And PTSD. They put me on paxil again and i stopped taking it after 2 days due to the way i was feeling. Can someone relate to how i feel and what doy out hink i should do i am getting worse everyday.

[2stop]

{{{Tina}}}~ I am so sorry for all you're going through.

I know it took me a long while to get through the depression part of withdrawals/recovery.I was also addicted to hydro's and ever other pill known to man. It also sounds to me like some counselling would be helpful for you?

Sending huge huge hugs your way....yes....please do keep that doctors appoinment. Keeping you in my prayers also. PM me anytime also......I wish I could do more to ease your pain. I really do.

[NicoBico]

I can relate. I've struggled with mild to moderate depression for years, but when my wife left me last month I sunk into a pit of despair the likes of which I couldn't even have imagined before. I have so much anxiety I can't sleep, and when I do I'm tortured by my dreams, then when I'm awake I'm so depressed I can hardly muster the will to roll over. I've been on many types of anti-depressants over the years and I got on some Celexa again last week. I know what you're saying about them making you feel even worse, but I think the key is staying on them long enough for them to really work their magic - sometimes it takes a month or so. On the other hand, you may be on the wrong type of med entirely. Paxil and Zoloft both work by boosting serotonin levels in the brain. The other two neurotransmitters associated with depression are norepinephrine and dopamine. Perhaps a different med which targets one of the other neurotransmitters may work better for you. Just be sure to fill your doctor in on everything and try to have patience, although I know how hard that is when you feel like you'd kill yourself if you weren't too depressed to move. The vast majority of cases of depression will respond to treatment eventually, it just might take a while.

[paramedic9742]

Thanks so lost sorry i missed takling to you tonight i have been in the bed with a really really bad migraine headache trying to fight not going to the ER because they will give me a narcotic. I am still home fighting it. Your friend.

[paramedic9742]

Thanks for your response i feel the same way. As far as not being able to get out of bed, no sleep and when i do nightmares. Today i am so weak its like i cant walk i dont know whats up with that. Anyway ty so much for your response.

Originally Posted by NicoBico

I can relate. I've struggled with mild to moderate depression for years, but when my wife left me last month I sunk into a pit of despair the likes of which I couldn't even have imagined before. I have so much anxiety I can't sleep, and when I do I'm tortured by my dreams, then when I'm awake I'm so depressed I can hardly muster the will to roll over. I've been on many types of anti-depressants over the years and I got on some Celexa again last week. I know what you're saying about them making you feel even worse, but I think the key is staying on them long enough for them to really work their magic - sometimes it takes a month or so. On the other hand, you may be on the wrong type of med entirely. Paxil and Zoloft both work by boosting serotonin levels in the brain. The other two neurotransmitters associated with depression are norepinephrine and dopamine. Perhaps a different med which targets one of the other neurotransmitters may work better for you. Just be sure to fill your doctor in on everything and try to have patience, although I know how hard that is when you feel like you'd kill yourself if you weren't too depressed to move. The vast majority of cases of depression will respond to treatment eventually, it just might take a while.

[paramedic9742]

Thank you 2 stop for posting and sharing with me your story. Thanks for being so kind to me as well.

Originally Posted by 2stop

{{{Tina}}}~ I am so sorry for all you're going through.

I know it took me a long while to get through the depression part of withdrawals/recovery.I was also addicted to hydro's and ever other pill known to man. It also sounds to me like some counselling would be helpful for you?

Sending huge huge hugs your way....yes....please do keep that doctors appoinment. Keeping you in my prayers also. PM me anytime also......I wish I could do more to ease your pain. I really do.

[Purrdy]

i feel the same...you know we all have so much pain in our lives i cannot understand what the point of it all is...its hurts and its crap and i hate it...i feel like all my fight has gone, my spirit has been broken...

i cannot do it anmore...life...i just exist...thats all i can do right now...yes depression and happy pills for the rest of my days....

i wish there was womething i could say or do to make it better but right now all i can do is say i connect my freind...i nkow howy ou feel....

[BSPGirl]

Hmm it looks to me like (but I'm no dr) that part of this depression is caused by the withdrawal. This can last for quite some time but you need to realize that this too shall pass. It always helped me to rationalize such things. About medications...it isn't even scientifically proven those neurotransmitters they affect really are the leading cause for depression, it isn't even scientifically proven why anti depressants work for certain ppl and why for others not. I am someone who reacts rather badly to all kinds of medication (not only anti depressants) and I also don't feel like the whole trial and error process, so I chose a while ago to not take any anti depressants for now. I'm not saying this is a definite that will never ever change, tho. I think talking to a dr would be a very wise idea. I can get along with my family doc very well actually, I wouldn't even mind having her as my therapist but ehh she isn't a therapist, lol. Best of luck!

[daddysgirl29]

(((((Tina))))))))))

[GeorgiaPeach]

My only advice is that when you do go to the doctor, make sure you tell him/her about the previous meds and how they made you feel and see if there is something else. Like BSP Girl said, talk to someone, therapist, NA meeting or a close friend. They may not be able to give you any answers but just getting things off of your chest really can help for some people. I don;t know if this helps but maybe it will. All I can offer are words of encouragement and if that will help I will send them to you all day every day. Do you think that if you went and rented a really funny movie or something like that it might help, at least for the moment. They say that laughter is the best medicine. Take care of you and keep talking!