Feelin so messed up

[angelgirl]

Hey,,

I haven't had enough sleep, so my anxiety is just a bit overwhelming for me today anyway. But I believe I just read a post about all of our friend, "Miracle".. I am not sure about what I just read, but I couldn't read anymore. I am just so upset, I didn't know where to post, so I thought I would come to where I feel safest to post, and that is here.

I am feeling all messed up in the head tonight, because of my anxiety. Now reading what I read, is just to much for me tonight. I can not read anything else. I am sick. I don't even know what to say, and I am babbling, but I need to babble.

I think I may need a little break from SR, until I feel better. A couple of days. I think. I don't know, I just feel so anxious, and so upset.


I love you all,

Becky

[ranae1221]

Hi Becky, sorry you are having a rough day!! Although I did not know Miracle, I have lost someone really important in my life and I know how messed up it can make you. Add not sleeping well on top of that, and it is no wonder you are "feeling messed up in the head".

If you need to take a break from here, do it. We're not going anywhere!

If you need to, babble! It can help to get it out, not keep it inside.

Try to get some sleep. I speak from expierence when I say a good night's sleep can help clear the mind.

As my book would say-
Remember:

-You will survive.

-You will get better.

-No doubt about it.

-The healing process has a beginning, a middle and an end.

-Keep in mind, in the beginning, that there is an end. It's not that far off. You will heal.

-Tell yourself often, "I am alive. I will survive"

-You are alive

-You will survive

[Hope]

Becky,

Sweetie, I understand exactly how you are feeling. I think that when we are dealing with several difficult things at once, it makes everything in life seem so much more chaotic and it is so overwhelming.


I am praying for you. You will make it through this!

Love and prayers,

Cheryl

PM me anytime. I am always available to listen!

[angelgirl]

Good Morning..

Well, I am back already.. I am sorry. I should not have posted at all. I was feeling SO bad last night, my anxiety was over the top, and I didn't think I could come back, to read anymore about Miracle for a while. I was so tired, yet I could not sleep. Soo anxious, and upset. Just over all a basket case, and sleep was what I needed most, yet I could not get myself to go there.

Ranae, Thanks so much for your support.. I really only knew Miracle through SR, from the last couple of years here. I will miss her presence around here, as everyone. She was a true bright light here. Always sending prayers.. Something that is so important to me.

I did finally get some sleep last night. Enough that I do feel a little better. Thanks so much for posting. Thanks so much for caring.

Cheryl,,

I was worrying about you last night. I am glad you posted on here. Thanks.
I am so shocked,. I know she was sick, but I just did not expect that. It was a
terrible thing to come and read,, and like I said, I read a little on SA, and I could read NO more. I don't know what happened, and I can't bring myself to know yet.

How are you handling? Are you OK? I know you were close. I know where she is, and that makes her passing a bit easier, and i know that it is MY anxiety that is and was really driving me on top of just the loss of such a wonderful person around here.

It just reminds me how vulnerable our lives are. No matter how hard we work on recovery, our lives are all mapped out. That scares me sometimes, and it shouldn't. It makes me angry that it scares me. I know who is in charge, and it is not me.

I worry about people around here. I so hope all are well, and handling this as well as they can, and not using.

Thanks for posting, I know this had to be hard for you.
I am here for you as well.
Please don't forget that, ever.

Love you both,
Becky

[bikewench]

Hey Becky....

Of course your upset...
So am I....

Miracle embodied the addict in us all... and where it can take us...

You were right to come and post before you left last night....
We're not meant to carry that kind of angst alone...
We need to be around others that loved her as well...


So.. running low on sleep..??
Gotta make yourself your top priority there sweety....
Gotta take extra good care of you... just cause.. ;o)

and ahhh...
glad ya didn't stay away.. ;o)

Cause YOU'D be missed as well.

[cwohio]

becky - i know how you feel. when i read about miracle it brought grief issues back full force for me and it's tough reading about losing someone. trish helped me thru my early grief period so much.

i hope you're feeling a bit better today and we all need to babble sometimes.

[Done_With_It]

I'm glad you are feeling better today.

[ranae1221]

I am glad you were able to sleep! Sometimes that can make a world of difference.

Hang in there!