Unusual Story - Could Be Your Story Too.

[gotrem]

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If you or a loved one is using Alcohol, Pot, Cocaine, Meth amphetamine, Prescription amphetamine or cigarettes, and seem to frequently relapse or become depressed in sobriety, READ ON...

I started using in high school. Before I began to use amphetamine I suddenly and inexplicably began having difficulties with my grades. It was difficult to consentrate and impossible to learn. Over the following two years I went from "A" grades to "F". Like most teenagers I slept quite a lot. Anywhere from 10 to 12 hours.

First I started with Pot and in my 16th year I tried one of my brothers Ritalin. Most people on drugs see a drop in the school grades when a child uses drugs. Overnight, my grades returned to "A"s. From then on I used amphetamine. Over the next 35 years I used cross tops, ritalin, cocaine, and eventually, methamphetamine.

The improvement in my mental abilities on amphetamine was so dramatic that I believed the drug was helping me. I went to too many doctors to count and told them that I felt something was wrong with me and whatever it was, amphetamine was helping me. Each time I was told there was nothing wrong with me that sobriety wouldn't cure. I was diagnosed as depressed and prescribed anti-depressants. The anti-depressants made me so drowsy I couldn't get out of bed. Each time, I eventually went back to speed.

I carried a great deal of guilt over my drug use and stopped using several times. Each time it was as if my life just stopped. I would sleep too many hours, I would gain weight, I just didn't feel good. At some point I would get tired of feeling like crap and return to speed.

I went through a divorce and my husband, knowing of my drug use as he was my supplier for most of those years, informed the courts I was an addict and because of a possession charge, they gave him custody of our children. He did this in a very dramatic, sort of made for TV script, that depicted me as the out of control, **** addict...and him as the responsible, concerned father.

Once again I tried to stop using. I WAS extremely depressed at the loss of my children. Sometimes I slept for days on end. Know what happens when you don't get out of bed? You become homeless. Now I had no home in which I could visit my kids. I started using again and got back out of bed and got myself a job.

It was during this time that I had a spiritual awakening. After desparatly praying I went to sleep and the next morning I received the strength I needed to go forward. I woke with the KNOWLEDGE that God loved me beyond measure and that He was not concerned with my drug use. Like most people that have such an experience, I wanted to share it with other beleivers. At first they were excited for me. Then after hearing that God didn't care about my drug use, they would tell me I had been talking to the devil. Undaunted, I continued using as much as I felt I needed, and continued praising the God who loved me.

I was often late to work, was often fired for tardyness, but maintained employment pretty steadily. The expense of my drug habit kept me pretty broke and I moved into my mothers off and on as a result.

Eventually I was arrested again (informant boyfriend) and was convicted. Two years later I was arrested again (another informant boyfriend) and this time they sent me to prison for 18 months. In prison I slept a great deal out of what I thought depression and gained 20 lbs the first month. When I was released, my total weight gain was 50 lbs.

Afraid of being sent back I stayed sober. I tried NA meetings but I didn't seem to fit. The step where you write about the wrongs you did to others I couldnt do. Yes, I used drugs. Yes, I used daily. But after God entered my life, I had diligently kept control of my behavior. I had lived the NA lifestyle throughout the years of my drug use. When I told people this they would say I was in denial. All drug users are liars.

I struggled in sobriety. I was able to work and was on time EVERY DAY. It was difficult for me to wake up in the morning (took me 2 hours to get out the door) and as soon as I came home, within 15 minutes to an hour I was asleep. Sometimes I'd wake up and watch an hour of TV before going back to bed. I was still fat and getting fatter. I no longer had a social life or had any hobby's. My house looked a wreck and though I now had money to pay my rent and bills, the act of doing so was difficult. There was no time in my life after work and sleep. The hours I was awake, I didn't move from one spot and read books.

Then, my youngest son was kicked out of his fathers house for being a lazy drug addict. He also botched up a job his father set up for him, when he totaled a brand new RV because he fell asleep driving. He was on Meth. I told him he could move in with me but he had to stop using. He said he wanted to stop anyway. He stopped using and went to bed. At first I was not concerned...everyone sleeps a great deal when they stop using. Two months went by and he was still sleeping 18 to 20 hours daily. I woke him up, told him to do what ever he had to in order to live, and I was going to find out what was wrong with us.

I went to the Parole Dept and told them what was going on. They said it was depression and gave me prozac. For the next year everytime I told them that I didnt feel there was any improvement, they upped the dose. Finally, I took my symptoms to the internet and was directed to sleep disorders. I began to read about the different kinds and though my son and I did not have three of the four major symptoms that decribe Narcolepsy, we did have EDS or EXCESSIVE DAYTIME SLEEPINESS.

We borrowed money for the expensive sleep study and were both diagnosed with Narcolepsy. The Multi Sleep Latency Test or MSLT is a scientific MEASUREABLE test based on physiological data gathered during sleep. There is not a way to FAKE the results of this test. It is usually covered by insurance (we had none). The Parole department indicated that since it isnt terminal, there was no government assistance to help pay for the test (I have since found out this is not correct). The disorder did not threaten my life but they were. They have unlimited resources to imprison people, but none available for a solution.

Research has shown that most people with a sleep disorder are not AWARE that they are ill. This is because the changes in sleep are very gradual, spaning several years. If you did all your growing in one night, you'd wake up and say...Wow...I sure grew alot. But because you grow over a period of time, the increase goes unnoticed. Same with the development of a sleep disorder. The sufferer has been ill so long, it becomes his normal.

Many sleep disorders are developed during early adolescence. A time when many people also begin using drugs. That might explain why some people become addicts and some do not.

The drugs I listed in the beginning of this post (there may be others) ALL effect a person's REM sleep pattern. It is often deviations from normal REM that are indicators of a sleep disorder.

The current estimate of the occurance of Narcolepsy in the general population is 1 in 1000. Of those, only 5% are ever diagnosed. Of those 5%, the medium number of years before diagnosis from the onset of symptoms is 15 years.

I do not beleive that I am the ONLY person with a sleep disorder to ever turn to illegal street drugs in an effort to cope. Think about it...It makes perfect sense. People with sleep disorders are severly sleep deprived. The most widely used drug today is Meth. The insomniac might use it in order to function at work after a sleepless night. The person with sleep apnea might use it to combat his chronic tiredness. Same with restless leg syndrome. There are 40 sleep disorders and most of the sufferers don't know they have one. Even if someone is not conscious that a substance is helping them, the subconscious would know. There would be an "inner struggle".

The sleep disordered have a pattern of failure. Drug rehab would be another failure to add to the list. My story is the story of many. I now makes me wonder if the suicides announced in those NA meetings were people with sleep disorders that had lost hope.

[Pony]

This was very interesting. Thank you for sharing it.

[historyteach]

hi, gotrem;

Your story makes perfect sense, in every way. I do know many drug addicts and alcoholics self medicate. Often, it's mental illness, but, sleep disorder certainly makes sense too.

The disorder did not threaten my life but they were. They have unlimited resources to imprison people, but none available for a solution.

You're absolutely right here. They are threatening your life. And for the very reason you state. There's always more money for prisons, yet the cut human services to the core.

Thanks for sharing your story. You give food for thought. SR also has a sleep disorder forum that may benefit from your story too.

Shalom!

[gotrem]

There is a new medication that is being used to treat Narcolepsy called Xyrem. This medication keeps a person from having REM sleep stage. Narcoleptics spend too much time dreaming, so the brain doesn't get the restorative sleep needed. COINCIDENTLY, new studies have shown great promise with the use of the drug to treat alcoholism. Hmmmmmmm....Could alcoholics simply be people that are not aware of thier Narcolepsy? Could the Meth addict simply be trying to cope with EDS? Would that mean that they are not just weak and morally defective?

[Alera]

Xyrem = GHB

GHB is a drug that is abused and also known for its use in date rapes.

Xyrem is the FDA approved dosage of this drug, and is very limited in its use.

[gotrem]

That is correct! Xyrem is the only sleep aid that can prevent the narcoleptic from entering REM. Alcohol also has the same very limited affect. For many alcoholics the altered REM is really what they are after. Too much REM causes you to feel ill.