Help

I'm a Bi-Polar patient in desperate need of some help. Have been ill for 3 years - have seen a large number of psychiatry doctors - have tried about every medication available and am extremely sensitive to them all - side effects horendous - have had between 20 - 30 ECT treatments with only short term relief.
I'm looking for someone who may be having a similar problem. Anyone who may be able to respond with some answers.
I am in severe pain constantly caused by medication but if I stop taking it my mind races non-stop.
I hope there is someone who will read this and answer my plea for help.

Ila,

I don't have the answers for you, but want you to know that we're here if you just want to talk and express your feelings. Don't give up hope.

Hugs,
MG

[katerinalisa]

I am a bit off kilter right now but I hope you can see the hope in my story overall and not look just at where I am right now...
I was first diagnosed BP at age 15 - tried TONS of meds...bad reactions or no response with each. I got into alcohol at age 8, then found drugs at 18....drugs, eating disorder, self injury, several $45k + spending sprees, hospitalizations where I was psychotic and was then given an added diagnosis of dissociative disorder which has since been removed, etc etc etc
At 24, my doc was finally convinced I was really ill...and he suggested the unimaginable....ECT. Electro Convulsive therapy. Honestly, I don't really remember much of that time period - things were pretty hazy for many years. But, I guess I was willing to try ANYTHING. I saw a couple other docs who agreed it was the thing to do - so I did it. FANTASTIC! The first several months were terrible (although, that is second hand info, again I don't really remember much). But I had stayed out of the hospital, clean/sober and relatively ok for the past 7 years. I had some major stresses in my life 1 month ago and ended up hospitalized last week but they adjusted my meds and I am trying to stay hopeful that things will get better again. 7 years out of the hospital - I have developed good relationships with people, I have worked the 12 steps a couple of times, and I have been promoted in my company from a call center rep to a programmer - they trainined me in house! Pretty amazing to think where I was before I got clean/sober and then found the ECT treatments.....The past 7 years have been far better than anything I could have imagined. Even though I had to go into the hospiltal this time, it was really more an effort for me to keep the wonderful things I have in my life (I tend to screw things up pretty bad when I am off kilter) rather than because I did something STUPID! So, I hope you can find hope in that
DON'T GIVE UP....NO MATTER WHAT - keep searching ...the answers are there, but the right people and the right solutions just haven't presented themselves in your life yet - hole on until they do!
-kl

hello there

well i have been this way for about 10 years, was diagnosed when i was 17, they put me on anti depressant medication, which did not help too much, and now i take lithium, i have never been offered ECT though i have discussed it with the doctor. It isn;t really so common over here in the UK

really all i can tell you in my experience is, that medication does not cure you.

All it does, is make the difference between a good day and a bad day- and long term it can help prevent severity and frequency of mood change.

i have found that changing my lifestyle has helped, not taking any drugs, not drinking too much, being very careful about my diet and remembering to eat regularly and healthily. Sleep is important too, i changed my job, because my career was fuelling my mood swings. I had always been very creative, as many bi polar people are and i was exceptional at my job, but it made things harder for me. Now i teach children, and teach yoga- which inteself has helped somewhat.

The other triggers for me are emotional turmoil...and anything stressfull or emotionally chaotic. I do not do well inc haos, routine and stability are vital to my well being.

It is very hard, i find relationships with other people extremely difficult to maintain. I have two children and they have helped me-i have found that working with children has been very good for me...and rewarding

I would say to you that you have to look at changing your lifestyle in order tolive with your condition, i know it is hard, when you have to get up every day and battle something which will never truly go away. I feel so much despair because i feel people like us have the most cruel of illnesses, it effects my emotionsi cave no control over any of it- my ability to relate in an emotional way to other people, and it will never truly be gone. Never being able to trust your emotions, and having to ignore them, and make only logical choices with your head and not your heart.

In my more optimistic moments, i know that my mind is sometimes exceptionally brilliant, clear thinking...logical, creative...super efficiant- it's part of my character who i am, and im sure there are positive things that i couldnt have done perceived or understood because i have a mental illness that augments extremity.

i want you to know that you are most certainly not alone, in how you feel lots of people understand

much love

Sephie
xxxxxxx

[liddy]

Dear Ila
I hope you find the help you need
as you have the will to feel well
again and with the right dr. and direction
I believe this can happen, a dr. who will listen
because you know yourself best.
My son has had three different diagnosis
from different drs. and he basicaly doesnt agree
with any of them.
Seraphine has given me a little insight , my son
possesess some of these talents and what I see
is by directing them into a positive manner can
make the difference in living in this world or
being seperated from it.
Ila I wish you and Seraphine and Kate and all
who enter this room the peace and joy that
as children of God,is yours.

Hugs
liddy