need advice

[liddy]

Hello everyone
just found out this board existed !Thankful to see it.
try to make very long story short. after just finishing up
on a very life changing year, found out last feb daughter was
in extreme thros of alcoholism and our son under much stress
totaly changed into someone we didnt know, became johnny
lawless , drank heavy,obsessive compulsive, verbaly abusive
on and on, the family and his wife did 2 interventions to
have him evaluated and he was placed in a psyciatric ward.
evaluaton was mild schizophrania, mild bipolar , severe depression. nothing seemed mild to us ! my son didnt think there
was anything wrong with him at the time except that noone
would leave him alone. He is 32 yrs old , after months of mania
he now just basicaly does nothing. He lives with us, lost his
wife, home and job.He is nice to us but it is as if he has thrown in
the towel on life. Wont discuss feeling or anything personal.
doesnt see a dr. but the court system will have him go into
a duo program in March, at least that will be something.
I attend alanon and realy try to stay out of much interferring
but this problem seems different then how we are dealing with
our daughters alcoholism.
Does anyone have any suggestions, it is heartbreaking to see
him not have a life, he just doesnt care about anything, he
has lost so much. watching tv or playing word games on the computer but absolutely no interest in anything, the friends the wife he drove everyone away but his family, we knew
with whatever he was going through it wasnt the real him. and this isnt the real him either.
Do we just keep waiting ?
Thank You to anyone with insight
liddy

[Jon]

Hi Liddy,

Glad you're here. What you are describing is "dual-diagnosis". which is a diagnosed menatl illnes (depression, bi-polar, schizophrenia, etc.) combined with alcoholism and/or drug addiction.

In hospitals and programs we 9yes, i am one) are known as "duals." We are a difficult bunch. Our problems are complicated because one illness feeeds off of the other. If I don't take my meds, I am more subject to relapse. If I drink or use, my meds don't work. Truly a vicious cycle.

Here are some resources for you:

http://users.erols.com/ksciacca/

http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/ddhome.htm

http://soberrecovery.com/links/dualdiagnosis.html

I hope these help. Keep posting, and let us know how you are doing...

[phoenix]

Stay hopeful.Many of us do recover if we have the capacity to be honest.Without medication,my world becomes bleak and terrible.I feel hopeless and want to die.By the grace of a Power Greater than myself,and a program of recovery,I haven't felt like that in years.The biggest challenge now is remembering that just because I feel better,that doesn't mean I don't need medication.I have a good doctor who understands my needs,and with whom I am rigorously honest.I lead a very normal life now,steadily employed,a good parent,and most important...still recovering.

What you are going through is very difficult.Please remember these two things.

1.It is not your fault.You didn't cause the illness.
2.Take care of yourself first,otherwise you can't help anyone else.

phoenix

[liddy]

thanks , jon and phoenix for your replies.
I do try to keep up hope phoenix for his
recovery. Hope for all of us helps me face
each day
Jon thanx for the links and both of you for sharing
I dont feel so alone
and that helps, your share encourages me

Hugs
liddy