Depression and Addiction

[OnceNice]

Does anyone on this thread have both a substance addiction and depression.
I have been going to shrinks and counselors since the age of 23 (just turned 40). Anyway, I've been given every antidepre under the sun. Course I drank with every one of them

Right now Im on Cymbalta for two months now. I haven't had a drink for 4 days if I make it through today.

Here is my question.

Do you believe you can be mentally addicted to substances instead of phsycially. I've been drinking since the age of 15 (beer) I haven't had a drink for three days straight and the only side effect I notice is not sleeping well. But I think about drinking all day long. Constantly,

I feel like my mind is addicted to it more than my body. Maybe I haven't given it long enough to get out of my system. Or given it long enough to get into my system for the physical effects (does that make sense)

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you ever thought your addiction was more mind then physical.

Hope this is not a stupid questions.

Hope I make it through the weekend.

[c'est la vie]

Nice,
I hope you don't think I'm following you around these boards, but the topic caught my attention. I guess we're finding more in common. I absolutely believe I have more of a mental addiction. I also didn't have too much withdrawal effects. Not tired, headache, need for sweets (and I'm not a sweet eater), but didn't feel too horrible like some people that really pounded the alcohol. I also could stop drinking in a night if I really had to after starting (like if I was with a group of light drinkers) although I thought about it the rest of the night and it made me ansy.

I think I'm a dramatically emotional person (not bipolar but huge swings) and I still feel a lot of the same irritating emotions as when I was drinking (9 days ago). I thought my reaction to things would even out without the alcohol and it doesn't seem to be the case. I don't seem to be a different person yet.

Anyway, I'm waiting to hear the answer to your question. I'm glad you asked it. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think your question is stupid in the least.

[notready]

I've never had physical withdrawls, and my warped mind tells me you don't have to quit yet. Deceided to educate myself and am thankful for finding this site. Hope the improved mind set can help carry me through to a much better rest of my life. Being realistic, I've been an addict and alchoholic for over 35 years. Things are starting to progress, and I'm going to be strong enough to go where I want to go, not to the false illusions of alchohol and drugs. Part of my startagey to talk myself into it. It can be done, look at all the successes here.

[OnceNice]

Thanks Winelover. I got a feeling we are very very similar. And I'm glad your are talking to me. Sometimes I worry that no one wants to talk to me.

I wish if I was going to have this addiction, I would at least be out partying or, screwing around or doing something.

Instead I sit at home and drink so I don't thinkg.
They told me I have depression, even been told bipolar,OCD, and eating disorder (haven't stop eating since Tuesday, but sometimes throw it up on purposes)
I just can't imagine me functioning with all of these things. I figure I'll just take care of one at a time. All my doctors seem to think drinking is my number 1 choice.
I did attempt suicide a couple of times, but that was usually when I had the abusive men in my life. I don't date anymore. Too much trouble.

Well I probably told too much.

Thanks for listening and you can PM anytime.

[OnceNice]

Thanks NotReady.

I'll keep sticking around.

[Cindi R]

I, too suffer from depression. Had trouble sleeping after getting clean. My mom was depressed and suicidal my whole life...I had a huge fear of being labeled with a psychiatric disorder...but after a year and a half of being clean...I went to a psychiatrist...I wanted him to tell me that I wasn't depressed.
That's when my treatment with antidepressants began...
Trazadone became my best friend. At least now I can sleep when I need to...
It's the depression that still makes me want to sit at home in my jammies, not shower, not clean the house, not go anywhere, not do anything else either...all I really want to do is sleep on my days off.
Somehow decided that they weren't really helping and quit taking them about 3-4 weeks ago...
Bad idea!
Yesterday was one of the worst emotionally draining days I can remember...
Called my Doc and restarted my meds and have an appt next Tuesday.
I have an addictive personality...
I can be addicted to anything that makes me feel different. I have to constantly be on guard about what I am doing...
I "could" be addicted to anything...shoes, shopping, gambling, sex...you name it...
I've also seen many who had another problem such as an eating disorder rear it's ugly head once drinking or drug use was not the issue...
Be very gentle with yourself...
As far as dating...be very careful...I have had one relationship since my divorce was final...
It was with another recovering addict in the program.
It didn't work out.
It's been over a year since I've thought about going out with anyone...I've decided that it will happen on "God's time"...
and I'm waiting for a man who will treat me the way in which I deserve to be treated...
I will not settle for any "fixer-upper" kind of a guy...and he will treat me as the princess or there will be no guy!

[OnceNice]

Cindi thanks for sharing.
Oh Can I relate to doing nothing. Sitting on the couch. If I had days off work I would just sit there and drink. The only thing that made me want to take a shower was when I had to drag myself to work. Didn't want people to think I stunk.

I haven't put makeup on in about 3 or 4 years.

I don't know.
I hope I make it tonight. I already have the urge of picking up a six pack and just being a nobody. Doing nothing for myself or society.

That was depressing sorry.

I need a pick me up I guess.

[Cindi R]

Thinking about it is NOT the same thing as actually doing it...
Have another plan...read a book, watch a movie, go to Walmart and walk around but not in that beer department...
That's why I suggested in another thread finding an AA meeting to go to tonight...
It really does take a lot of effort in the beginning to not just fall back into old habits...
Good luck to you tonight...I'll be thinking of ya and sending positive vibes your way girl!

[PaperDolls]

Nice,

I can relate to everything you've said in this thread, as well as the rest of you. Nice, are you in therapy at all? I've just started so I'm definetly no expert. But, I went last night and was told I have probably been depressed for a very long time, I just never knew it. You may be the same way.

I still so badly want to just sit at home and do nothing. I make myself get up and come to work. This morning when I woke up I thought, Thank goodness it's Friday, I can sleep all weekend. It's drives my gf crazy. I usually stay awake and hang out with her..........to please her......and of course I want to hang out with her, but man, I really want to just stay in bed.

I also didn't have any physical withdrawl symptoms. A lot of this addiction is definetly a head game.

Don't let that beer control your life. You be in control. You can do it.

~doll

PS. I'm not following you around either (like winelover said) I just relate to everything you've said around here.

[OnceNice]

I'm glad people can relate to my stories, at least I'm not alone. Follow me anywhere everyone. It makes me feel like people care what I have to say.

I always want to stay home inside myself.

I sure wish I had a computer at home so I could talk to you all.

PaperDoll, I see you are from the Midwest so we probably have the same time zone.

[PaperDolls]

Yup, We're both in the Central Time Zone. I'm actually in the same state as you.

[Cindi R]

I'm your neighbor to the north...from Southeast Iowa.

[OnceNice]

This is so cool. I'm going to try and buy a computer this week. I'm sure we can all help each other. I need help especially at night. Not only with my drinking, but with my mental mind games too. I hope you will all be around when I get this computer.
I'm actually waiting to get in trouble here at work, but if it happens, I guess it happens.

[c'est la vie]

Hey Nice, I hope you're feeling comforted hearing all of us other "mentally addicted" people. Maybe we can convince someone it actually happens this way sometimes. I hope you can get to a computer this weekend and check in. Maybe you and doll can set a time to chat.

Don't talk yourself into thinking you need to have a beer tonight just because there's nothing else to do. Pace your kitchen floor if you need to, but don't give in tonight. If you make it through a Friday night, you will feel so much power inside you I'm sure.

good luck

[Cindi R]

Better get back to work then so you don't get into trouble...

[Chance]

Hey OnceNice LOL I have just been up and down and sometimes more down than up since I got clean back in March 29, 2005. I went to go see a psychiatrist the other day and she said that I suffer also from anxiety and depression. I thought it was just my shots that I was taking but when I look back at SR here my moods have been the same. I get really down on Vic and then I shut everyone out of my life. I haven't had to drink or use YET, but I also know that this pattern is not healthy. They put me on anti D's, because I need to finish this treatment that I started and yet I am totally against that stuff and yet I have found myself open to anything now to keep my mind focused. I hope that it will smooth out for you I have been a heavy user for a lot of years so I might have done more damage than good. I am OK today though. Hope you stick here to this side with us also.

Love Vic

[c'est la vie]

Hi Nice,

I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you today. Hopefully you were able to get to the library and see this. What did you buy with your $20? Did you have a quiet and beerless night last night. Even if you didn't, try to have a better night tonight. Hope you enjoyed the movies with your co-worker.

[c'est la vie]

Good morning Nice, I just looked at the "sticky" thread at the top of the mental health forum called Mental Health/Addiction. It's lists a website for people who have a dual diagnosis of addiction and some other emotional or phychiatric illness. It may be something for you to consider if you feel that you are suffering from depression.
Have a good (or at least OK) day.

[Drencrom]

Originally Posted by OnceNice

Do you believe you can be mentally addicted to substances instead of phsycially...?

My doctor actually told me the following..: "I wouldn't recommend this to any of my other patients, but I think you're more mentally addicted to alcohol than you are physically. I don't think you should stop drinking until you see a psychiatrist and get to the root of your problems. Then once progress has been made, you can take steps to lower your alcohol intake."

To this day I still don't know if he was right or not. I was trying to quit because I wanted to get better mentally.

I know I ended up physically addicted though, because I began having toxic withdrawal seizures when I tried to quit.

[thekillerinyou]

Hi all.

It's barely 6am in Chicago so bear with me.

As alcohol is a drug too, when people take meds for depression, the medications can't work. Alcohol throws it all wayy off course, especially with alcohol being a depressant, and it's hard enough to find a medication regime that is liveable as it is.

I love to drink in front of my pc sometimes, often times early, which I'm hoping to nix when I get home .

Everyone is 'wired' differently, but it seems the majority of people suffering depression usually abuse substances too. They pretty much go hand in hand with me and most I know.

As far as which is the more likely dependant, physical or mental? ...imho, both; but again everyone is different and yet the same at the core of it all, so I guess treatment plans must be looked into the same way.

I hope everyone is ok today...

:ValB010:

Kelly

*Moreover, I hope I make sense

[thekillerinyou]

PS: And oh yes, the mind has a mind of it's own so often.